AIBU to not want to go away for the weekend?

[Newmummytobe79]

Ok ? I think I might be but I really hope I?m not!

I?m saving every spare penny I can before I go on maternity leave and have budgeted for birthday presents and nights out in the coming months. By nights out I mean friends birthday?s where I will be driving and not drinking. DH has cut down on his spending too and has been in charge of buying household things before baby arrives ? it?s all pretty 50/50 so I?m happy. He has a few nights out coming up ? which will obviously cost more as he?ll be drinking, but I?m not going to stop him before baby arrives as we know it?s going to be tough afterwards!

Basically ? we?ve been invited for a weekend away (free accommodation) but I just know we?ll end up spending money on fuel and food and drinks which we would be better spending on baby items. I?ve explained how I feel and he has agreed ? for now.

The problem is it?s his sister that has asked us and I know he?ll feel that we have to go as we don?t see her children that much.

On a selfish note ? it?s the only weekend we have ?free? in a four week period and I?d really just like us to stay at home and do some nursery stuff and just spend time together ? just us.

I know the summer is a busy time socially and I don?t want to be a party pooper but I?m tired from working all week and would like our weekends to be ours before baby arrives.

I?ve agreed to a few couples?s nights (with his friends) and just want to let his sister down gently ? AIBU?

I don't think YABU to decline the invite. But I'd take it more from the angle that its your only weekend free in a 4 week period.

Is your SIL reasonable? If she is, then she'll understand that everyone needs some time to relax in their own home every now and then. Can you ask her if you could take her up on her kind offer after the baby's arrived. Say you're looking forward to seeing her children but you're exhausted at the end of every working week.

As for the money issue, if poss I'd try not to budget down to the last penny. try to find a few quid here and there for emergencies and/or little treats for your and DH over the coming months. I know you want to spend it all on your baby and your family's needs, but to plan how every single penny is spent months and months in advance might be a bit unrealistic. Try to be a bit flexible if poss.

Hi Lawm01 - I think she will be disapointed but will understand ... eventually!

Hahaha - I think I'm giving DH a bit too much credit for his budgeting - he's rubbish! Hence me panicking and saving like mad. To be fair to him he has been trying very hard so I think between us there is an element of flexibility! :)

YABU a bit, in that you will want the support and company of DHs family - and your baby's cousins. YANBU in wanting to save your resources - time, energy and cash, before the baby arrives.

Does it mean aot to your DH to go? More than a few nights out?

If you really don't want to go them maybe your OH could go alone?
Offers of weekends away with free accommodation don't come along very often, and babies don't need a great deal of 'stuff' (not sure what baby things you are budgeting for).
I'd probably go, as there will ba plenty of time to do nursery stuff during your maternity leave.
A weekend with his family will do more for future family relations than budgeting for various birthday gifts and nights out, and evenings with his friends.

Agree with Lawm01 on the budgeting. Your baby will be there for a very long time so to cut out everything before it is born seems a bit unnecessary, plus how much "nursery stuff" do you actually need to do?

I can see why you might not want to go as you are tired after working due to being pregnant, plus its never much fun when you watch others drink. However you may find that once baby is born then family becomes more important and if it were me I'd probably try to curtail something else rather than the visit.

I know he'd rather go out with his friends ... so if I raise that point he'll say we can afford them all and then we're back to square one with no cash. We really do need to save as SMP leaves us short by around £300 a month on my bills alone ... so £50 is a lot of money to us at the moment. By the way ... it's not free accomodation as such ... more everyone squeezing into less beds/sofas!

By nursery stuff ... I actually meant start creating a nursery from a box room! :)

Have you budgeted for everything for baby to be new? You can get some really nice things 2nd hand (although mattress etc should be new)? We were also given a number of hand-me-downs for our DD1 (including the cot, which DC3 is about to move in to!).

Have you looked at changing your i.e. mobile provider etc and spending less on food etc? (Just thinking of things we cut back on when I'm expecting).

As another poster has said, saying no with the reason of wanting it to be a weekend of resting, together, makes more sense.

When is baby due?