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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask how I should progress with this friendship?

6 replies

Megatron · 17/05/2011 15:54

I'm off work this week and my friend had asked if I would like to meet her for lunch today. I explained that I had an appointment and could we make it another day. All fine with that. Well this morning my appointment was cancelled so I rang her to see if she was still free for lunch and couldn't get hold of her, so after another couple of attempts I left a message for her on both her home and mobile numbers.

Anyway, another mutual friend called me late morning and asked if I'd like to meet for lunch, I explained that I was waiting for friend A to get back to me so she suggested that we all meet up (they are friends too). I called friend A again saying that I hoped she got the message on time and saying where we were and was she free to meet us.

I got home about half an hour ago to find a message on my home machine ranting that she's seen me out with our other friend and that I clearly was lying about my appointment and that I just didn't want to see her. I've just phoned her to explain (and I really can't understand how she didn't get any of my messages) but she won't even talk to me.

She's a lovely woman and we've been friends for a while. She is having some MH issues at the moment and I've done my best to be supportive/helpful etc. and she would normally totally accept any explanation but she really has been having a hard time lately and I know I have to be sensitive with her. I do understand how this would have looked to her if she hadn't got my messages but she won't even let me explain and I don't know what to do now. Any advice? Sad

OP posts:
Bubandbump · 17/05/2011 15:58

02 has some issues today with the network/ voicemails. If she is 02 she might not have received any messages.. I can't get incoming calls but can make outgoing - it is affecting areas differently apparently..

Megatron · 17/05/2011 16:01

I'm not sure which network she is on but if it is O2 that would account for that. I did leave a message on her home ans/mach too though. I hate that she's so upset with me and feel like a shit friend now.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/05/2011 16:02

just wait

she will get your messages and then feel a bit silly I suspect.

perhaps the other friend could give her a ring, pretending not to know, and say what a shame it was she couldn't come out with you both???

PomBearEnvy · 17/05/2011 16:07

I'm with Orange and if my phone has been switched off, it can sometimes take a while for voicemail messages to come through.

If you left messages on both mobile and landlines, she will listen to one of them eventually and probably feel a right plank.

You haven't been a shit friend, and she will calm down and realise she has totally over reacted.

Megatron · 17/05/2011 16:10

Thanks folks you're probably right. I just know how this kind of thing can really upset her and she can blow things up out of proportion just now and I hate to be the one making her feel like that.

OP posts:
glassofwhiteanybody · 17/05/2011 16:45

Nice that you're showing some friendly concern for her, instead of being dismissive about it. Mental Health issues do make it tricky to do the right thing, but eventually she'll hear the message you left and that should help

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