To be upset about my DD starting school in September

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I just feel that she isn't ready. Being honest....she's not academic at all and find it really hard to sit still, and I think she'll just switch off when she starts school and give up trying because she does struggle and I think she is always going to be bottom of the class however hard she tries, despite being 5 in September, so one of the oldest in her year. I just feel so sorry for her.

She's a really sporty kind of child, really enjoys being outdoors, running, jumping, climbing, a bit of a tomboy really. Really into art and music as well.

But the way the school system is, I think all that is going to be squashed and importance put on the maths, english etc.

I have an older daughter (8) who is very bright and academic, and has always been top of the class, and I never worried about her starting school because I think our school system really suits her, but my little one is such a different personality and I don't think the things that she is good at will get acknowledged, and make her feel like a failure :(

I think her whole school life could be a real misery for her and I worry how it will shape the kind of adult she turns into.

Have been thinking about a Rudolf Steiner school? Any advice on this????

Try not to dwell on it too much....she may start school and absolutely love it! Also try not to compare your little ones, they are all different and she may pick up on the comparisons you are making ( relatives do this to mine all the time and it makes me cringe....older one quiet and shy little one full of fun you know the type of thing..)

She will probably love school and and enjoy the challenge...see how she is for a year and then if there are problems you can look into a different school etc..

Also sometimes its hard to let the little one go..

Have to be careful commenting on Steiner, as mumsnet have been threatened with court cases by them before. But google the wacky & religious side of it before you commit. I wouldn't send one of my DC to a Steiner school if I was paid to.

Remember that she'll grow up a lot more between now and September, 4 months is a long time if you're only 4 years old. Then, Reception is not a hothouse, and there will be plenty of playtime and free play. Lots of arty things too. It may be worth waiting until year 1, to see if she's settled down, before committing to anything more alternative.

I'd imagine that she would benefit from walking to school (to get the ants out of her pants before she arrives), and after school sports clubs/lots of time in the park, like many boys of this age do.

My dd is one of the little ones, she's not 5 until July.

I was really worried how she'd cope, but to be perfectly honest it's a long day at playschool with uniform!

I'm sure your dd will be fine, lots of children won't sit still and want to run around, it won't be a problem I'm sure.

I think these things are more traumatic for mothers tbh .

At the moment ,don't worry :)

You don't really know how she will respond yet , she might surprise you !

Just try it for the reception yr and see what happens perhaps ?

I have relatives who have attended Steiner schools ,they have had mixed feelings (naturally ) but they are a form of education I like and personally would consider if needed .

What about asking the school if she can go part time for a while eg until Christmas or longer if you feel she needs it. You're not obliged to ensure she's educated until the term after shes 5. A lot could happen in the next few months in any case.

There are so many options; if you feel she is being squelched you can home educate, either for a short time or long-term if it suits your family.

What harrassedinherpants said. Very very apt!!!

I work with 3-5yo in a Montessori School and aprt from a 3 hour work cycle, the rest is free play and scheduled activities. They all seem to love it. But then we see Play as Work so they are learning as well.

Give her time to settle in, she may surprise you and cope really well.

Good luck.

...apart...I mean.

YABU.... the phrase is 'cross that bridge when you come to it'. If you're passing on all your pessimism and fears to your younger daughter then you could trigger a self-fulfilling prophesy. Keep things positive and up-beat and she may surprise you. Schools are far better these days at bringing out the best in children & do not expect 5 year-olds to sit still for hours on end doing maths. Besides, being good at sport often means that academic failings are glossed over.... headteachers being as competitive as the next person.... and the child gets a disproportionate amount of attention.

While I understand what you're trying to say, I feel a bit sad that you're saying she's not "academic" at all, before she's even started school. I don't know any academic 4 year olds.

I'm worried that your prophesy will come true because this is what you believe will happen to her. She may get there and be an amazing all-rounder - it sounds like she has loads of interests already, and she may just love it! I remember my first couple of years at school - sure, learning to read and write was part of it, but we also had a lot of time to run and jump and paint and make things, and there was never too much time spent on any one thing.

YANBU at all, i don't think a mothers instinct is trusted enough in these instances.
I've been railroaded , by dh, nursery teachers and school into sending my ds who is 4 in June in Sept. I'm not being precious dd went no problem and I knew she was completely ready. As it happens since the time I made the decision he has come along way and went for his 2 half days and loved it but I still think he's going to be shattered and will probably need an afternoon nap everyday for a bit.
Have you thought about a Montessori where she could go until 8?

oh and i would do some serious research about steiner before you decide, its not for everyone!

They're all shattered when they first start, it's a big exciting thing for them. It's going to wear them out! Even now dd is shattered and grumpy on a Friday evening, but she absolutely adores school and her teachers.

It's all very hands on there, and they're often given a cuddle if needed or they can loll about in the "quiet area" if they're tired.

So glad she's there......it's done wonders for her and her confidence.

Have you considered looking around other local schools and chatting to the head about your concerns? Lots of children are more sporty than academic and there should certainly be somewhere that could cater for your DD.

I agree with RJRabbit. She's 4. Saying she's not academic and that 'I think her whole school life could be a real misery for her and I worry how it will shape the kind of adult she turns into' is just ridiculous. You don't know how she'll react, and labelling her this young will effect her. I have an older one who is very 'bookish' and one who is very loud and always active. They're both bright and both academic. Pre school age the the noisy one was usually covered in paint or mud and only stayed still when asleep. Once they started school, that intensity was channeled into work. Once the bell went they reverted back to bouncing off the walls.

That's not to say that it's not worth looking into finding a school that you think will suit her.