to consider giving up my job?

[bushymcbush]

I have a 2 yr old dd. If circumstances would've allowed I would have been a SAHM from the start. I love spending all day with her, I don't get bored when I'm with her. All I want is to spend the time with her now while she is little, because all too soon she'll be off to school.

But circumstances haven't really allowed it. I had a full year mat leave then went back to my job part time. Then dh kind of fell out of work (self employed) and I had to go back full time to make ends meet. So now dh is a SAHD.

I know he feels bad that I've been forced into this position and he says he's looking for work but he hasn't applied for one single job (been looking since January). Now in my line of work (teacher) I've reached the final time of year that I can legally give in my notice to finish this summer. If I don't do it now, I'm stuck until Christmas.

I'm considering just going ahead and handing in my notice, and telling dh afterwards. Then he'll have to do something about it.

It's not that I mind my job (I dont mind it and I know I'm lucky to have it); I'm just so unhappy being away from my little girl and I feel that time is slipping away.

BluddyMoFo was brave enough to say what I was implying!

We're in a similar situation. Out here I have more earning power as DH is in the hospitality industry which means not only does he earn less, but the hours are rubbish, and we never saw him.

I do get jealous of the time and bond he has with DS, but we still get every weekend together, which we wouldn't have if he was working. If you work part time you get more time than we do!

DO NOT quit your job without discussing it! Its a dangerous path to take, both in terms of work and your relationship.

Your DH already has a job - hes a SAHD.

Really - I think you are taking him for granted and not respecting his contribution to the household.

So its up to you to earn the wage as breadwinner. We live in a progressive society now and there is no place for sexist stereotypes.

Stop nagging him for sex too.

Even if you decide to stay on (which I think you should), you are going to have 6 weeks off, and when you go back in September, it really is not that long then till Christmas anyway.

You know it would be madness to hand in your notice. I'm not even sure what benefits you would be entitled to if you are voluntarily making yourself redundant.

That said, it sounds like your DH really needs to make more of an effort, although it is not clear what his earning potential is, and whether he could support you all (i.e you be a SAHM) if you are not working.

There is long term impact too on your CV/pension/future earning etc....and if DH is not contributing to a pension (which I am assuming he isn't at the moment?) then it would be handy for someone to be.