to dump him?

[ruledbyheart]

Regular but name-changed as people in RL know my previous nickname but not that I'm dating.
I have been seeing this bloke for about 6 weeks after splitting with my ex husband early this year and I really do like him but I don't really know if the relationship is based on just sex.
He is a really nice guy, says all the right words and is very sweet but he is very busy with work during the week so only comes over after 8.30pm and on weekends he comes over around the same time but leaves before my DC's get up.
He never wants to go anyway and is quite happy watching a film cuddled up on the sofa but we never get to the end of the film as he is always too tired, yet as soon as we go upstairs he is awake and ready for action.
If we go anywhere I always pay for myself (which ok is my choice) but if I order in a takeaway I end up paying for the whole thing, I have cooked him dinner, given him a massage but its all very onesided.
Writing down this I see that actually I should just dump him, but I don't know if I'm BU as he may just be shy and wants to take his time with these things.
So MN jury to dump or not to dump?

Thought I'd update, EX-h had the DC's last night so I decided to go over and see him for a chat, didn't really talk because I couldn't work out how to say my point but he asked me to stay the night, so I did but refused to do anything other then cuddle which seemed fine as he was tired from work, however this morning as he drove me home on his way to work, he mentioned my lack of interest and I told him I thought I was being nice as he was always tired so obviously needed the sleep, to which he asked if he could come to mine tonight which I said ok, then he turned round and said "your not gonna be nice and let me sleep again are you?" assuming I am going to put out.
I turned around and said something along the lines of "right least I know what you want me for now" and got out of the car..... Dumped.

Well done. Its always difficult when you are out of a long term relationship.

Glad you decided not to settle for a tight arsed bugger who can't even be bothered to 'date' you properly.

Ooh if he's this half arsed now what will he be like when you're further down the line?

I say dump. Because it's funner.

Too late, what are the chances!

Well done.

Argh!! getting texts off him now apologising and that he didn't mean it in that way, he really cares about me, dunno what to say really, do I reply or ignore?

Do you want to reply? Do you want to make it work and see if things can change?

Up to you.

I don't really want to try and make things work because past experiences have taught me that things don't change, thinking of replying saying that if really cared then he wouldn't have treated me like a booty call to begin with, but I don't know whether it will cause an arguement, or if I ignore him how long will he keep texting?

How did you feel when you got out of the car? Were you relieved he was dumped and you knew where you stood?

How long did it take him to text he was sorry?

You do have options. Leave him dumped and go out and have fun.

Let him come round tonight and don't have sex with him.

Let him come round, have sex and see what happens?

Before the update I was going to ask what would happen if you went to his, would he cook/pay for a take away?

Try this:
"Babe, we have great chemistry, you know that, but even you can see this is a really one-dimensional relationship. I have finished with hassle when I pitched the ex, I don't want hassle now.
Show me it can be different, and I'm happy to give it a shot. If you aren't interested in expanding things, lets part as friends while we still like each other."
This puts you in the position of being clear about your wants, that he will be the one doing the adjusting, but it doesn't get all pissy either, iyswim?
Oh, the quote marks don't mean you have to say it exactly I'm not quite THAT bossy!

Don't mention the sex to him, as he will have an answer, like you are too irresistable or some such reply...Text him and tell him you don't want someone who is a tight arsed git who will let you pay for everything etc, as he can't have an answer for that can he?

FAB: nope not once has he even offered to cook or get takeaway, although he did offer to drive me to the garage to get something as I hadnt eaten
Goodynuff: thats actually a great reply, think I'm going to write a version of that and see what he says.

Sounds like he is a sponger and you would be better off out of it.

Glad to be of help

cock lodger potential there.

I say go with goodynuff too

please update

Sounds like you've enjoyed it while it lasted (for what it is: a rebound relationship after a long-term one with your ex -- i.e., nothing serious, good sex, some fun times but no attachments).

Sounds like you're now beyond that stage and looking for something better, in which case I'd say he filled your niche and is now ready for the door.

Apologies if I've misread it.

To be on here asking this after 6 weeks, is pretty much your answer.... Move on, he is not good enough for you anyway..... :)