AIBU about not wanting my DC's to be in GP's house with an unknown dog?
MummyFirst · 16/05/2011 16:50
I'm a first timer to Mums Net so i'm sorry if this is a little long.
My M&FIL's have looked after my children 2 days per week since my DD was little. She is now 6 and DS is 2. They had a dog already when DC's were born and they had had it from a pup. There was never a problem with the dog and obviously I had had a lot of time to be assured of this. However, their much loved pet passed a few weeks ago and MIL was very upset.
She has now decided to get another dog, a decision I fully supported under the correct guidance.
Having spoken to both the RSPCA and NCDL my MIL was informed that with having such a young child in the house regularly that she would be most suited to having a puppy and not an older dog i.e. one that could be raised in the environment it will live in.
I thought that my MIL had taken this on board however turned up on Saturday with a Dog of 4years that had been rescued from a pound and fostered out for 4 weeks before being allowed, without a home visit or any checks on their situation.
She was introduced to my dog on Sat and proceeded to Bite a hole in my dog's head. My DH had to pull the dog off as my M&FIL had no control of it and my DC's were terrifyed and had nightmares about it.
My MIL is a lovely person and although has the best intentions has not always been the most vilgilant. I.e. Once leaving my small DD alone in the living room whilst in the Kitchen with the front door unlocked and my DD walked out, down a ginnel, was picked up by a lady and taken into the Doctors Surgery where the Police were called and eventually my in laws collected her from.
I have no faith that my in laws will be vigilant and properly watch the children and have not slept knowing that they will be there without me.
I have taken measures, as it has been made clear that the dog will not be going, to place my DC in wrap around and nursery care to avoid the situation.
I am not going to deny my IL's access to their GC's as we see them every weekend anyway, however my IL's have told me that I have blown things out of proportion and that they are p**d off with me for doing so.
AIBU to want to know that with their track record of not being able to train a dog properly, i.e. first one that had issues, I should be able to go to work knowing that my DC will be safe?
My DH wants me to 'wait and see', but 'what if' keeps playing on my mind.
squeakytoy · 16/05/2011 16:57
Its a difficult one. Dogs can be great with children but not with other dogs, but as this dog is one that you dont know, I would share your concerns, especially with children so young, and a dog that is in unfamiliar surroundings.
How much history do you know for the new dog?
DooinMeCleanin · 16/05/2011 16:58
Having spoken to both the RSPCA and NCDL my MIL was informed that with having such a young child in the house regularly that she would be most suited to having a puppy and not an older dog i.e. one that could be raised in the environment it will live in.' this is utter bollocks btw. I have to say that I am suprised at the RSPCA giving out such bad advise. A small puppy is not good to have around small children. Puppies are very nippy and jumpy.
The best thing to do is wait until the children are older or take a child friendly older dog from a decent rescue who will have assessed the dog and who will offer support with any training issues.
YANBU to not allow your MIL to care fro your child if you don't think she is capable of properly supervising dog and child.
saffy85 · 16/05/2011 17:00
YANBU. At all. I would have had doubts about leaving DC with these people when your DD managed to walk out the house without it being noticed for so long that a kind stranger had the time to take her to a doctors' surgery where they had time to call the police before your inlaws "eventually" picked her up.
I wouldn't want to hang about to "wait and see" what this dog could do to a small child if it has already attacked and hurt your dog, especially as you say your inlaws couldn't/wouldn't control it when it did this.
Slubberdegullion · 16/05/2011 17:01
Welcome to mn
I think if your ILs want to keep their new dog (totally their choice) and you have concerns about your dc's safety in their house then wrap around childcare is the way forward.
Their new dog may pose no danger to your children whatsoever but if you are unhappy with what ifs then paid for child care seems like the best solution.
LostInTransmogrification · 16/05/2011 17:02
YANBU, I have a dog and know he is very good with grabby children but even then I will keep an eye out just in case. There is no way I would let my DS near a dog I wasn't sure of. The consequences could be horrible and you would never forgive yourself.
glendathegoodwitch · 16/05/2011 17:03
YANBU I have a 3 yr old choc lab and she is my DD (5)'s best friend but we had her from 8 weeks - I would not leave my child with a dog I didnt know. and as i have had 2 dog bites from terriers I will not let my dd go anywhere near terriers whether they have been around children or not. i believe there are family child friendly type dogs and then there are ones that are not. dog bites are awful and the stories you hear of dogs attacking children just dont bear thinking about.
diddl · 16/05/2011 17:14
"Once leaving my small DD alone in the living room whilst in the Kitchen with the front door unlocked and my DD walked out, down a ginnel, was picked up by a lady and taken into the Doctors Surgery where the Police were called and eventually my in laws collected her from."
TBH, they should have stopped having them then imo.
But it´s up to you, isn´t it-you don´t want your children in the house with that dog-fair enough, I say.
And tbh I think that "wait & see" is ridiculous as dogs can be very unpredictable.
squeakytoy · 16/05/2011 17:28
Well, if they are so bloody irresponsible that they have taken on a dog without knowing any of its' history when they have a comittment to looking after two young children, they have clearly shown that the dog is more important than the safety of their grandchildren.
I would also question the type of rescue that rehomes without doing any visits or checks too.
DooinMeCleanin · 16/05/2011 17:32
She says in her op it was a pound. Pounds generally do not home check or health check/assess any of the dogs. Does not neccessarily mean the dog is bad though. Nor does being aggressive towards other dogs mean it is a definate danger to children.
Still YANBU if MIL cannot be trusted to properly supervise. My dog is from a pound. He is not great with children, but nor is he aggressive towards them. He prefers to stay away from them.
midori1999 · 16/05/2011 17:38
Why on earth did you let them look after your DC even before they got the dog with their track record?
I disagree that a puppy is better suited to a home that has small children in it (either full or part time) and in many cases adult rescue dogs are fully assessed and a known quantity and perfectly safe, if not safer, around children than puppies, but that doesn't sound like the case here sadly. At least your PIL seem commited to the dog, as they should be. Being aggressive to another dog does not mean a dog will be aggressive to humans though, but in the circumstances I don't think YABU.
bedlambeast · 16/05/2011 17:54
This reply has been deleted
Goblinchild · 16/05/2011 18:58
I think you've been very fair and sensible about not forcing your ILs to choose between the dog or their grandchildren. Wrap-around childcare and visits with you supervising seem a good compromise. It's a shame as dog-lovers, they don't appreciate what you've done and are pissed off with you.
I think they are being unfair.
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