to want to go on a holiday without the children?

[Naetha]

DH and I have two beautiful children, 3 and a half, and 18 months. They're great, but relentless - very very active, challenging etc - normal kids basically.

DH and I are totally worn out - we try and give the other a break, but what we actually want/need is a break together. We've had the odd meal out and trip to the cinema, but if anything that compounds the issue as we end up having a late night and miserable and grumpy when the kids pile in at 6am.

AIBU to ask my Dad (who is great with the kids, looked after them before etc) to look after the kids for a week so we can have a proper beach holiday? We've never been able to afford a foreign holiday before, so it would really be a massive treat for us.

Or am I being selfish?

My parents went on honeymoon for a week when I was 3 and brother was 18 months, and we were left with granny.

I don't remember it but I imagine we had a lovely time at granny's house.

THanks for all the feedback - really appreciated :)

My Dad is 57 and has almost as much energy as my 3 year old, so I'm not really worried from that point of view for a couple of days. The reason I was thinking a week rather than a weekend is that it gives us a real shot at "us" time, rather than 2 days coming down and catching up on sleep, and then going straight home again. That and the fact that it's not much more (if anything, cheaper) to do a really cheapy week in a resort than a 3 day city break. Our budget is £500-600 so enough for a treat but not enough for a villa with a nanny

As an aside, my Dad and my stepmum used to go off at least once a year without me for a week or two while I went to the grandparents, although when my brother was born that pretty much stopped.

If your Dad is willing and you are all happy with the situation then go for it.

Even if we had someone willing to look after our lot, I could never go away without them, sorry just me. DP and I never get a break but we knew that before we had DC and we chose to have them. I recently stayed in hospital with DD3 when she had an emergency op and bawled my eyes out as I missed the other 3 so much and they were with their Dad!

Sorry to be blunt but I still think a week is too long for a 3 year old and 18 month old, it will feel like a month to them.

I know you have a fixed budget, but I really would only go for 3/4 days.
Could you look at booking flights and an apartment yourself. Private owners are often willing to do short breaks.

Also wanted to add, when mine were young we only went away for a night at a time, but it used to feel like we had been away for far longer.

Just having an unbroken night felt like heaven I think you will be surprised at how refreshed you feel after only a few days away.

If you find them hard work don't you think a single older man would? He isn't exactly used to it is he, I think a week is too long.

QUOTE "my mum and dad went away without me quite often when i was young (only one of me though) i loved it and so did i."

Did anyone else have a sly giggle at this?

YANBU it will be lovely for the DCs and your father.
I would actually go for a long weekend to start with-unless they are already used to weekends with him.

I don't know fabby, it'll be a novelty to him. OP is probably feeling the strain of 24/7 parenting.

While you have a young grandparent make the most of it!

hi, i have left my toddler daughter numerous times with my parents and with my husbands parents, once for a week and a half. They absolutely love it, but they are both still in their fifties. I wouldn't leave her just with my dad, he wouldn't be able to cope on his own but he is not particularly hands on and never has been. I think it just depends on how capable your dad is! everyone can cope with different levels of stress.

No, you are not being selfish. Every year my parents gave us a week away (all their babysitting in one fell swoop as they live 250 miles away) from when DS was just two and nine months and dd 9 months. We would go away either on a beach holiday, or a city break. The kids had a truly wonderful time - they went on days out to all the things suitable for them, yet were back at home at night and in their routine and own surroundings etc. The kids never seemed to show any sign of having missed us!

Might be a lot for one grandparent though - has he got anyone else's help he could enlist.

also, will your step mother be there too?? would she be able to help out??

Yanbu to want it. I think it's a lot to ask, but hey if he's up to it why not?

I wish my parents could help us like that. They've never really offered much on the sleepover front

If your dad is Ok with it then not unreasonable at all.

Some will say you shouldn't however, as 'its wrong' and 'you chose to have them' and some will say 'I could not do it' and you'll have to live with that alternative viewpoint.

persoannly I'd go for a weekend and not a week.

I can fully understand the need for time away I really felt that when mine were young. Now they're older i want to take them everywhere with us and show them the world while we can and they are a joy to travel with (mostly) but when they're little it's just baby/toddler orientated and you do need a break from that ime. Or I did.