Have you been seperated from your child in a public place for more than 10 minutes and what did you do?

[Happybrewer]

I'm sure it's happen to us all at some point, even if we imagined it.
I (a few years ago took my eldest daughter (she was little then 4 1/2) to the Lady Diana playground in Hyde park, for those of you who don't know it, it's a great! if not very busy playground. It has only 1 way in and out usually with an attendant at the gate.
Star, was starting to want minor independence and asked if she could go off and play alone. I agreed and sat near the gate with other parents.

We had done this before and she would usually come back every 5/10 minutes of so to tell me what fun she was having, or to ask me to join in. O this occasion 20 minutes passed and my fear levels started to rise.
I asked a mum sitting next to me to keep an eye out for a small blonde girl, looking for her dad, and to say I'd be back after my search.
I went all around the park and couldn't find her, on return to my waiting spot the other mum said she hadn't seen her !!!! now I'm panicking, I go to the attendant, she assures me that no children had left alone, so I asked the mum to continue to keep watch while I ran madly around the play park calling her name and asking every other parent if the had seen her, to no avail.
I think I was very close to calling the police, and then she appeared from the Pirate ship where she had been playing with other children deep within it's bowls. possibly the one place I hadn't searched.
So how long before you call the police?
I have friends who have lost a child on a beach for 3/4 of an hour and hadn't called the police, I said I would have done it

I dressed my two boys in identical clothes when travelling so that should one become separated I wouldn't have to worry about remembering what he was wearing and could just say a bigger/smaller version of this one.

Lost ds (7) on Saturday for about 20-25mins, he was with his friend (6) while dh was chatting with friends dad and they dissappeared. We were wandering streets for ages and in cars trying to find them. Found them about 1/2 a mile away happily walking to friends house (on otherside on main road)!

He's never done this before so it was worrying until we found them.

He's now had his first ever grounding!

I have lost DS in a shopping centre - HUGE panic; he was there in Debenhams then suddenly not there! I contacted security who took me to their CCTV station and we located him - he was heading towards Adams (I don't think that exists any more; this was a few years ago) as we were on a mission to buy school uniform, so he was heading in the right direction! He always says it was me that was lost not him! he was about 5 at the time.

We lost DD when she was about 2 at a centreparcs (not in this country). We were checking in then she just disappeared! We alerted security who shut down the whole complex (nobody allowed in or out); i was beside myself as it was about the time of a horrific case in Holland of a paedophile who had kidnapped and killed several young girls. Also there was a huge lake by reception. Anyway she appeared about 30 mins later - she had wandered off and found a playground and was playing happily. A young lad of about 16 brought her back.

It is the most terrible feeling; utter panic - your thoughts race ahead of you, and you immediately anticipate the worst possible scenario.

I lost 5yo+10yo in the desert once... on the edge of mountain lion country. We hunted for about half an hour before getting the rangers involved. The boys were heading in the right direction and sticking together when found about 30 min. later.

The worst situation before that was losing 6yo in an amusement park (massive) play area once... I guess we hadn't seen him for 10-20 minutes by the time we involved the park staff.

I guess I've misplaced all the others at least once for at least a few minutes in shopping districts before that.

I don't think there's any simple rule, you just go with what seems the most practical option for finding them quickly. Talk of abduction is silly -- unhelpful, really, because it's a distraction from real risks (like Mountain lions ).. or running into the road :(. Almost always when a child goes missing there's a simple explanation and they are found quickly & fine.

As a rule you are right and most separations tend to less than 30 minutes...but it a bad bad feeling none the less, and I totally agree, worrying about child snatchers all the time is bad for all of our health's but roads, cliff's and many other hazards are always at the back of your mind

When DD was 6 ( 9 next month) we went to Legoland.All of us in the maze and DS (9.6 at the time) slipped through the hedge to outwit her. She then got lost and we searched for what seemed like forever.DH went up the high tower to get better view.
Music was so loud couldn't even shout.You can imagine what was going through my mind, so went to find staff to turn music down and tannoy an announcement.
Well,madame was sat outside with a family (slightly older daughter) who were chatting to her wondering if they should contact staff or wait with her.
She's a sensible little girl and knows not to leave a shop etc but never thought of the maze the same way.
(BTW didn't tell DS off for 'losing'her as I hope it wasn't deliberate)

Before I had DCs I was in Boots and someone walked away with a woman's pram while she was a the perfume counter. Her cry was something I never want to hear from another human being ever again.
The staff were brilliant and straight away shut the electric doors.The snatcher was walking way slowly, to avoid attracting attention.
Still makes me well up to remember

Oh God Lordoftheflies that is awful :( thank god he didnt get her.
I know its not the same but i once lost one of the kids i was looking after on a residential camp in the USA. She was at least 12 at the time and much taller than me (im tiny) but it was still just awful. It was at night and we had all gone on a walk over the fields and she had joined another group at the begining only we didnt realise because it was dark ( i know i know , so stupid i kicked myself later. There were 3 teens/adults and none of us did)and when we arrived back we only had 6 kids not 7. Oh god i almost died i swear.
Its not the same when you arent yours i know but when you have them 24 hours a day for weeks on end you get so attatched to them and do everything a parent would , make sure they wash , hug them when they get homesick all of it.
I was running round screaming her name crying the whole time. I could not think of anything , not even that she might have hurt herself , just that she was lost and i had to find her. "X is lost , shes lost , shes lost i have to find her , shes lost type thing"
She was fine , she had one back to the main bit with the other group. I threw myself at her and wouldnt let go and swore she was never going out of my sight again. The other staff nearly had to peel me away ! She was so sweet said sorry for scaring me. I didnt let her go anywhere without me all night.
I was nearly sick with fear ive never felt anything like it , i hope i never do again.

I was actually expecting a mojor bollocking over it as it was my fault (and the other staff emembers) but i didnt get one. I think the saw how upset i was and thought it was enough.
One of them asked me if id thought of her having an accident or falling in the river and i just went
"oh god." and probably went 6 shades paler because he suddenly went " Its alright shes safe so its all alriht , dont worry about it."

I don't know how so many people are able to 'not take their eyes off a 4 year old' in a park - we have 3 kids and the park we go to is enormous and the kids are all different ages so want different areas. We find watching them there such a nightmare we only go rarely as it is not secure and we cannot physically watch them all, even while following them around it.

I lost both my older two last year for 30 minutes in a mall. They were 6 and 4 - and I was shopping with them and my sister and my baby. We were walking together with the two kids trailing slightly - a few paces, and we walked into a store assuming we had all walked in. Only a minute passed before I noticed they weren't visible among the racks of clothes, but I assumed they had gone towards the back of the store, so went hunting towards the changing rooms. Nothing. Then we went out of the store, to see if they missed us walking in and had stayed outside. Nothing in either direction - s we looked into the stores in the direction we had been walking... nothing. I started to panic, and we ran back towards the central hub, peering into every shop on the way... at this point I wanted to find security, but didn't know where it was! Turned out to be at the far end of one of the spokes of the mall, where the kids play area was. I ran there while my sister kept searching with the baby. The security found the kids on camera in about 3 minutes - at the very furthest end of the mall from where we had been!!!! We all cried when we were reunited, but I just could not understand how they had managed to end up so far from where we had been - Apparently they had paused to look at the display in the window next to the store we entered, turned around and didn't see us - so rather than waiting where they were (our new rule) they had run in the wrong direction to catch up to us... at full pelt they had gone far out of our search area in such a short time!

Now we have more serious rules in place and if they get separated from us in a relatively safe place (like inside a mall) they are to stay exactly where they are so we can find them, or seek out the shop assistant/security guard if there is one nearby. They also know to scream and make a huge fuss if someone other than an authority tries to take them, even if they say they will take them to mummy. This worked well when my 5 year old got separated in a very crowded part of the Smithsonian museum - he found a security guard and waited by the big elephant in the middle. Even though it took 15 minutes for us to find him, he had been safe the whole time by following the instructions.

"I lost my dad in BHS more than 40 years ago. I can still remember reaching up at a man in a long overcoat and finding it wasn't him. One of my few early memories."

I think we were on the other side of that recently in Sainsbury's. We had just come through the checkout and I noticed this little girl, 4ish, because she was wearing pyjamas which I thought was a bit odd, though it was gone 8pm. I guess parents must have planned to put her straight to bed when they got back from shopping. Anyway as I walked along slowly pushing the trolley and talking to DH I noticed this little girl, in a world of her own, had caught hold of our trolley as we passed and was just trailing along dreamily with us holding on to our trolley! I stopped and said "You have the wrong trolley love!" She didn't look up or round just stopped when the trolley stopped. I told her again - still no response. Then finally she did look up and when she realised she was with total strangers looked utterly bewildered. Forunately her parents were only a few tills away and she hurriedly returned to them but I don't think they had noticed at all.

When DD was about 8 we lost her in that same shop. I think there was a misunderstanding as we had stopped to look at magazines on the way out and each of us thought DD was with the other. After a few minutes of frantic searching (probable less than 10) I went to the customer service and asked them to put out an announcement. While they were doing that DH went to look outside and found her waiting by the car, she thought we must have gone out and left her so she had gone to look for us.

I'd say YABU for posting this in YABU, when it isn't a YABU question! I want to read about children at weddings and fights with inlaws

Just posting to say OP that I saw a woman in a terrible panic searching for her lost daughter at the Princess Diana playground. It was awful to see ... I guess it might have been you! Then again, I expect children get lost there pretty much every day as it is a big place with lots of different areas.

I know very well the panicky feeling when you lose a child. I lost ds for more than 10 minutes once at Legoland. We were quite near the entrance at the time, so I told the people on the gates and they swung into action immediately and reassured me they would find him. He was only in the blooming cafe when we tracked him down.

Our friend heads straight for the exit if one of his DC is missing.

It's interesting that people would help a lost child by walking around with it, trying to find its parent or taking it to a member of staff. I've told DC that they are to stand still and NOT to walk off with anyone. They are to say that they have to wait where they are but the adult can wait with them if they want to.

Glass o' wine I agree. Where are the crazy inlaws and unreasonable dh in all this? I'll raise you a g&t too!

"Merle Mon 16-May-11 19:32:42
Leon Bellfield is on trial for the murder of Milly Dowler and the attempted abduction of another young woman. He is also the father of two children."

Ah LEVI Bellfield - didn't know who they meant up there (points upward) - and you know, I just looked him up on wiki (didn't realise the bastard had kids) and they say he has 11 (eleven!!!) children! That's scary

I went to Big Tesco the first time I went out alone after the birth of my twins. I was standing in the nappies aisle and thought one had started crying so without even looking I started rhythmically rocking the trolly back and forward. The crying didn't stop so I looked down to see NO TWINS! I stood, gripping the handle, feeling sick rising in my throat, and started to wimper, I was so scared. I thought someone had stolen my trolly, and was looking around desperately for my babies. I'd already started to head for security, in tears when I realised I'd left them at home with my mum. The joys of sleep deprivation! The thought of ACTUALLY losing a child makes me feel dizzy. Although having read this thread, every single child turned up perfectly ok, so that's good at least!

We must let our kids learn to have some freedom in a world that is becoming less free by the minute.
It's my 1st day on mumsnet and I posted my 1st post wanting to know what we do and how we feel about suck and emotional thing for us all.
I want badly for us all to not give in to the fear that we are being served up all the time.
Freedom is a world without fear and we are all being made scared.
What I've got from my 1st day here is that overwhelmingly we all care!
Glad to be a Dad and really glad that there are MUMS !
X

This is without doubt the worst thing that ever happened to me. My son was 4 years old. I was living in Oxford, where I was doing a PGCE. I had a job interview in Birmingham, for my first NQT job, and was asked (having got and accepted it, and a place for my son at the school) to bring son to visit with me, and also to get info I would need for September

All went well. Arrived back at Oxford station and looked down to get ticket to put through London style barrier thing. Looked up (1 minute approx) and son was gone. I thought he was messing around. I called. I looked. Sick feeling dawned - he's GONE!

I ran in a panic to station staff - "I have lost my little boy, etc". At first, they were calm. They then began to panic too. Police called after FIFTEEN MINUTES!! "What is your son wearing?" (I don't know now!!) "Describe your son" (Erm - small...blond...).

25 MINUTES later, a young woman arrived in tears at sation. With my son. I had very long blonde hair at the time, and a distinctive green coat. He had followed this girl, thinking she was me, as far as the Opium Den in Oxford (if you know it) They reached traffic light. He looked up. She looked down. "You're not my mummy!!" Wailed son.

Thank GOD she was a normal (Australian as it happened) girl, who had the sense to question him and bring him back.

Reins were redeployed after this incident.

I got lost in a supermarket when I was 5 doing the 'following the wrong coat' thing. I can clearly remember following my mum in her purple coat and the horrible shock when I looked up at her to tell her something and saw a complete stranger. The poor lady had to get security to make an announcement over the tannoy and my mum had got as far as looking outside in case I'd escaped into the shopping centre. Nightmare.

Anyway, I did actually lose ds last summer in the park. He has severe ASD and learning difficulties and loves to sit at the top of slides but I usually have to coax him down as he gets in the other kids' way. On this occasion there were two slides next to each other and another couple playing with their daughter were quite happy to use one and let him sit on the other so I went and sat on the grass and left him to enjoy himself but within plain sight. Then a friend called me and I turned round to wave and when I looked back ds had gone. It was that quick and the friendly couple hadn't seen him go either even though they were standing right there. At first I thought he couldn't have got far but I searched and couldn't see him anywhere, I was running up and down calling and realised he had actually left the play area. I was running round the park asking people if they'd seen him and trying not to be sick. The main problem being that he was 10 and big for his age so no one was going to think it odd that he was on his own and he didn't have the mental capacity to understand about not going off with strangers. He is non-verbal so couldn't call for help or tell anyone his name or that he was lost. By now I was imagining him getting into someone's car. Also, that particular park is surrounded by main roads and not fenced and I had a sudden thought that ds might have tried to go back to our car which was parked across the road. I kept expecting to hear a screech of brakes. As I ran back across the park I was literally pressing the buttons on my phone to ring the police when I spotted ds sitting at a little table by the cafe, tucked away in a corner all by himself. He was quite happily waiting.

We'd stopped at the cafe for an iced lolly when we first got to the park as it was hot and I think he'd decided he fancied another one. Well he got it, because I was shaking so hard I had to stay and have a cup of tea because I wasn't safe to drive home!

I panic if I lose sight of DD for 30 secs!! Shes such a little escape artist though!! Cant imagine losing her for 10, 20, 30 minutes. I'd be a jibbering wreck.

I can remember the panic I felt when I was little and lost my mum. Although technically she lost me. We were at a market stall and my mum was blethering away for aagggesss and I fell asleep leaning on the stall... When I woke up a while later (god knows why no-one actually woke me to ask me where my parents were as I was preschool age!) I went to speak to my mum to realise she wasnt there, and I looked around and couldnt see her anywhere, I started panicking and was just about to burst into tears when my dad appeared and scooped me up. It was a horrible feeling!! :(

Oh, I feel sick too when they go missing. But feeling sick doesn't help. You have to keep your head and think calmly to find them quickly.

Oh, I remembered a 'being on the other side of it' story. DH and I (pre-children) were on a night-time cross channel ferry. We were in those reclining chair areas - you know, where the room is dimly lit, and there's loads of these chairs in rows. Well, Dh and I were sitting there (rather uncomfortably, as it happens) and not far away from us, a mother and her little girl (I'd guess about 3) were lying on the floor with blankets, sleeping. The dad was in the row in front of us. In the middle of the night, the little girl got up, toddled over to us and sleepily climbed into DH's lap, snuggled down and went back to sleep. I tapped her dad on the shoulder and asked if it was his DD. He said 'Oui' then turned back to his book! Dh was like 'Well, could you take her from me then?' The French chap was clearly a little nonplussed by this but shrugged and came and lifted the little girl. He obviously thought DH looked like a sound chap for his little girl to sleep on (which DH is, of course!) but DH said he had visions of the little girl waking up, realising Dh wasn't her daddy and screaming the place down.