This has been playing on my mind.
Went away to a hotel for a wedding and the majority of the guests were wedding guests as well. We were there for 4 days, met and "hung out" together after the wedding. The happy couple stayed too.
Was at lunch with ds, happy couple, mother of the groom and another couple who I had spent the day with but I have to say dont know very well (first time we have met) . At one stage the bride said she was tired and I heard one of the other couple say "why dont you all go back to the pool and we will sort out the bill". I didnt think anything of it and certainly didnt assume it meant me too. (By the way, I didnt have a meal, only my 6 year old ds did).
So the bride actually stayed, we all chatted, eventualy the couple got up. I saw through the corner of my eye that they were at the restaurant reception , sorting out the bill. Now in my family, we have a bad habit or trying to get up first to pay the bill...but i know thats family and dont expect that from anyone else, especially people I dont know that well.
So, I said "Oh no, they look like they are paying" and we all got up to go over and sort our own out, make sure they werent out of pocket etc.
I was last at the desk, having the 6 year old in tow , and got there to find the waitress waljing away from the desk with the little folder thing they give the bill to you in clutched in her hand and the happy couple and mother of groom thanking the couple for paying their shares (with lots of "you shouldnt haves" etc)
I was in a dilemma, do I assume, do I ask? So I said "you didnt pay ours did you"? (keeping in mind it was one 6 year old child's meal and lemonade- probably not relevant but anyway...).
The female of the couple stopped dead amd smirked and said in a loud, firm and passive aggressive "this is me asserting myself" way ...."er, NO, we didnt".
I was so embarrassed as this was in front of everyone and I felt like a scumbag for asking...so I just said "oh my goodness, Im so glad you didnt, Id feel so bad" and went to pay for ds' lunch.
Do you think I was BU to have asked? Or is it mean to pay for everyone at a table's lunch and leave out one person?
I can see why asa we dont know eachother that well but my god, I was so mortified.
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37 replies
anotheracademic · 15/05/2011 10:09
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