To wish that people would be clear when inviting you to a party!

[oxocube]

Lots of my friends and I have been invited to a surprise party someone is giving for their spouse. Invitations were issued about 3 weeks ago and instructions to keep it top secret. Then about three days ago, about half of the guests (obviously me included!) received emails asking us to bring a dish to the party for the buffet. A spreadsheet was attached and we were asked to sign up for salad, main course or dessert!!! The host is providing the snacks and I'm sure (although I don't know this for sure) there will be a paying bar rather than drinks provided.

While I am usually happy to help, and to be honest, most events I go to are 'pot luck' affairs these days, a few of my girlfriends and I are a bit about this as its so last minute and we all have busy lives, juggling kids, jobs etc but mainly because we weren't asked in advance.

A bit cheeky or AIBU ?

It is a wee bit cheeky not asking you first, are you being given much notice?
I suspect the person organising it is not a very organised person and maybe its just dawned on them that food should be provided !
(I suspect a man is organising - runs and hides)

Disorganised, rather than cheeky, I would say.

Just buy something, like cheesecake or bagged salad or something. It needn't be something that takes up more of your time than a quick trip to the shop.

I don't think it's cheeky necessarily, as parties are very expensive and pot luck is a good way to go. I mean I would normally ask the host if they needed anything most of the time!!!

I can see it's probably just a bit of lapse organising. He/she probably meant to do it a while ago but has been busy or something.

However, very annoying to have it foisted on you last minute - so for this bit YANBU.

Could you take something from the cupboard or buy something ready prepared on the way? Alternatively, could you politely explain that you won't be able to this time?

The surprise in this party is that you're supposed to be hosting it yourselves. Very cheeky!

Definitely cheeky. You should be asked before the invitations have been formally sent out with situations like this.

foxy, how did you know?

Its the fact that we weren't asked in advance to be honest. I'm completely in agreement that parties are expensive and I also always ask when I accept the invite what I should bring ............... its just the 'last-minutedness' of it all that is a bit annoying. Home made dishes are the order of the day, I'm afraid, so no turning up with a bag of salad from the supermarket. There have even been a few specific requests!!!

Yeah - I often wish I would get invited to just the odd thing where I wasn't expected to bring a plate. It's not like we're all skint students any more.

Being invited out seems to equal "oh, and bring some grub and booze please."

so you buy something from the supermarket and you decant it into a pot or dish or holder of your own.

Do you know nothing about foodie cheating?

eg - buy a pudding, get some icing sugar, take the pudding out of the wrapping and put it into a dish of your own, sprinkle it with icing sugar and hey presto - a home made pudding that you spent hours on.

Oh I forgot to ask if I had to bring wine as well! Oh, I should get over myself and have a - its just a mood thing and I'm sure it will be lovely once we are there! At least I'm not driving so I can have a drink

or buy a main course and put it in an ovenproof dish and cook it for a bit so it's slightly stuck on round the edges - home made dinner.

Give a job to a lazy woman and she'll find an easy way to do it

Just thank your lucky stars you don't have THIS host!

Naughty Hecate

oh. my. god.

how has that woman got anyone willing to spend time with her?

oxo, you know I'm right and you're going to do it

Hilarious Tidy!!

M&S do really reasonably prices club sandwiches. Put them on a different serving platter & it will all be OK :)

Hehe, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

To be honest the invite really wouldn't bother me at all.

I'd nip into Tesco on the way home.
Come on your not that busy that you can't pick something up!

Let it go, take your food and enjoy yourself without being full of angst!

Rude that it. Get thee to Iceland!

If anyone asks "Did you make this breaded prawn platter?" just say "Yes, the orange hue is my signature!"

So cheeky - some people these days have no shame. If you throw a party you bloody pay for it!!

If I lived in England, I would be popping into the nearest supermarket! Sadly, I live in a country where the words 'tasty' and 'food' are not often heard in the same sentence

upahill, you are right, I'm not that busy! (except I am baking a cake and making Thai fishcakes rather than nippng into Tesco but that's my problem being so anal!!!)

I guess that's the difference oxo. Over here we have a Tesco express, Spar and co op on nearly every corner. I have been known on many occcasions to pick up a large box of choclates, champagne, birthday card and wrapping paper on the way to a party!!!! I just make sure that I have sellotape, and scissors in a bag and wrap them up on the car park!!!!

YANBU. It should have been made clear on the invitation or beforehand. Otherwise if you invite someone, you provide the food.

Costco? They do lots of cheap dishes that look home made, they do party platters as well. Things like wraps and sandwiches and such. (The waps ae lovely btw)

Sorry, silly keyboard! Meant to say the wraps are lovely btw.