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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wwyd, in this situation

68 replies

slavewife · 14/05/2011 10:30

walking home yesterday, next to ds school, there was a little girl (in full uniform) outside the locked school gate, with some other children behind the closed gate, all shouting for the little girl to get back inside school etc... (child was a 4 year old nursery child), went over and asked if she was OK? she said she wanted to play outside, I asked if her parents we're with her and she shrugged her shoulders.

There is a bus stop next to the school, and it is a fairly busy road, and I asked if any of the passengers, if they knew the child, none didn't, so I picked her up and took her into the school and said I found her outside the locked gates.

Now turns out the child, lives next door to the school (a small stones throw) and the head, said Oh I take her back, and all was fine.....

WWYD in this situation? the same as me, or left the child on a dangerous road, unattended?

OP posts:
burgerandchipswithredsauce · 14/05/2011 12:06

Oh shit! Just read the rest of the thread. Surely as a child protection officer wou would have known better than to physically take the child back to school? You would have been better off getting the attention of the lunch time supervisor to deal with it. Or even knocking on the door of a nearby house to raise the alarm with the school.

As a child protection officer you could have called yoour workplace to ask the tel no of the school or asked your colleague to call the school and explain your were with the child and ask the head to go outside to see you.

It's a sad world when people cannot go to the aid of a small child without the risk of being prosecuted.

Rosa · 14/05/2011 12:07

That is terrible - howver as this thread has shown you did what you thought ( and most other people would have done). My questioning is the same as yours why was a 4 yr old un attended and on a busy road irrelevant if she lived next door to the school- Her father should be arrested for neglect . Imagine if a car had stopped and really kidnapped his child .......

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 14/05/2011 12:08

Shock that is well shocking.
We live next to the school my children attend and if that had been me I would have been rolicking DS1 (he is the nursery child dd would know better I hope) for leaving the house and not telling me and sending you flowers for looking after him like that.

I think the fathers reaction was shame at not having a bloody clue where his child was so is looking for someone else to blame. This society we are living in is ridiculous where people are too scared to get involved, if that child had, had an accident on the busy road the father would have been shouting about broken Britain and why the hell did nobody look out for this small child wandering alone...couldn't win either way.
I hope this is all sorted out properly for you. You did absolutely the right.

fishtankneedscleaning · 14/05/2011 12:10

No Child Protection Officer would have picked this child up. They would have more sense. Sorry OP I don't believe you.

lemonbeaver · 14/05/2011 12:14

I agree with Fish, surely as a CPO you would have known what to do in this situation

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 14/05/2011 12:16

Oh I see, physically picking the child up, yes that was daft.

But it's terribly sad that even a fully trusted CPO can't do that.

ashamedandconfused · 14/05/2011 12:20

I dont believe it either now. In your Op you initially say all was fine, then you go on to say all was not fine, and that your job as a CPO is in peril (once we have all agreed we would have wanted to help too)

I agree, you would NOT have picked up the child

I also cannot believe that none of the people at the bus stop had intervened, given that all of us say we would have been compelled to do somehting to help the child to a safer place.

SomebodyNew · 14/05/2011 12:21

.

ashamedandconfused · 14/05/2011 12:25

did you tell the kid you were going to pick it up and find a teacher, or just DO it? what if child had started scresaming?? bearing in mind that noone else on scene knew you were a CPO/safe person.

did you not try asking them to come with you first? did you not tell the onlookers what you were going to do so you had witnesses?

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 12:28

why did you drip feed the bit about geting arested?? Hmm surely that was the main issue here? It's certainly the bit most posters would mention first.

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 12:29

Yes...a CPO would know not to touch the child.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 14/05/2011 12:30

I assumed the drip feed was because OP initially wanted to see what we would have done without clouding our judgement before telling us the outcome.

winnybella · 14/05/2011 12:34

WTF? Regardless of whether the OP is true, what is wrong with picking up a small child and taking it to a safe place Hmm?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 14/05/2011 12:38

Well - with 20/20 hindsight, I would have told one of the children inside the gates to go and fetch a lunchtime supervisor or teacher, and I would have stayed with the child until they arrived.

And if my four-year-old had wandered out of my house, and was by a busy road all on their own, and a passerby had intervened as the OP did, I wouldn't be calling the police on the OP, I would be buying her a bunch of flowers. The OP took his child from a dangerous situation to a safe one.

Maybe she shouldn't have picked the child up, but my first reaction would have been to take the child straight back into the school, and I consider myself an intelligent person, so I don't think it is that daft a reaction to the situation. It seems to me a safer option (for the adult involved) than wandering off round the streets with the child, looking for their house.

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 12:38

Winnybella...sureley you know that touching any child who is not your own is risky in this day and age? Hmm Nobody saying it is right that things have come to this but there you have it.

fishtankneedscleaning · 14/05/2011 12:42

And a CPO (Social Worker) would know this more than anyone.

Jaspants · 14/05/2011 12:47

I agree with everything that SDTG has just said.

I'm dismayed that the outcome of this is the OP being arrested.

slartybartfast · 14/05/2011 12:48

whyd idnt you you just take the child by the hand?
surely you dont pick up a 4 year old ?

slartybartfast · 14/05/2011 12:48

and why are you asking strangers when you know the rules

workign in child protection an all

Sotiredofwakinguptired · 14/05/2011 13:17

I would like to think that instinct to place a child in a safe environment would be the initial reaction not whether or not you are putting yourself at risk.

Saying that i was out with my family in a park recently when a little girl (about 4) was wandering around, near a stream, crying for her mum. Lots of other people noticed this and you could see the indecision on their faces. So I got up and went over to her, knelt down to ask if she had lost her mum and she flung herself on me, so I lifted her up and tried to find her mum, eventually her older sister (about 11) found us and took the child from me without a word. Then took the girl off - a good 200m or so out of sight.

alwaysleftout · 14/05/2011 17:11

I am a CPO. I agree with fishtank. My insticts and training would be for me to stay with the child and alert someone and ask them to inform the school. No way on this earth would I have picked up the child or even held her hand to take her into the school without someone (and in this case) the Headteacher to witness my every move.

Also OP if you are a CPO (Which I very much doubt) you will know that you are not going to be charged for this incident.

CheeseandGherkins · 14/05/2011 23:56

I'm a mum and I agree with Sotired, would much rather my child was taken into a safe place than just "watched", jobsworth too much lately.

CheeseandGherkins · 14/05/2011 23:58

And also, I would have done whatever I thought helped a child if they were alone, hand holding or picking up

SarahStratton · 15/05/2011 00:02

This reminds me, somewhat, of the bizarre thread about the Saturday tutor who left a child to wait for it's very late parents Hmm

BeerTricksPotter · 15/05/2011 00:11

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