telling off another child

[georgegeorge]

I was unreasonable but was I justified and has anyone else done the same?

DD in year 6. Low level bullying from a boy. Lots of little things but it happens every day. Because DD is mature and the boy is not and he has always been troublesome, her teacher thinks she should ignore him. Well she has for a long time but as there are things going on in our family, she is sensitive at the moment and this boy has really been getting to her and she has been coming home very upset.

When I saw him coming out of school, I saw red and told him to stop bullying her or else! My DD did not know this. The next morning she heard him bragging to his friends about it - it obviously made no difference.

Anyway, I did go in and tell the head teacher what I had done as I realise I should not have spoken to him. School were understanding as were the boy's parents.

I'm disappointed in myself as I have not set right example to my daughter but also as she is due to go to high school soon, should I have told her to continue to ignore him and develop a thicker skin? It will probably be much worse at high school.

Thanks

Awh don't sweat it. You were standing up for your DD.

My DS was bullied by a group of boys. At one point I seriously considered ambushing the ringleader down a dark path and scaring the crap out of him (didn't do it but I felt like it)

I would have no hesitation in reprimanding a child if they were upsetting my own child. Do not be disappointed in yourself at all. Your daughter is probably glad to have a mum who is visibly on her side!

What were your exact words "Stop bullying her or else!"? What exactly did you do & say.

I personally don't like the "just ignore it" approach. Why the hell should anyone just put up with this? The boy needs telling. Again and again if need be.

Don't feel so bad - you were protecting your daughter - nobody else seems to be doing so.

YANBU... but you may have been better waiting until you weren't annoyed/angry, as telling someone off when you're in the process of seeing red and trying to control it is rather amusing to the recipient, he may have just thought you were a random mad person.

At most you'd have embarrassed him, and yes of COURSE he's going to joke about it with his mates.

I don't blame you for taking action, I think you may have done it better, and do think its worth making sure that the school and parents relieve you of the need to do it again, if the 'low level bullying' (not sure I really get that term?) continues then you need to speak to the head again.

It probably WILL be worse at high school now and then, but that doesn't mean you have to encourage that pattern now... at high school, your dd will need to learn her own ways of dealing with these situations, but for now, I don't see the problem with your intervention, though your method was erm, a little sweet and a bit funny???

BTW Low level bullying is bullying.

And should be treated as such.

Thanks everyone.

DD was slightly worried as she thought I would get arrested!

IIJKk - I asked him (obviously in an angry voice) if he was (I knew he was), and said you had better stop bullying or else.

I just blurted it out so he probably thought I was a mad woman!