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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel very sorry for this little boy

34 replies

elmofan · 13/05/2011 18:25

This morning as i waited with DD in her line for her teacher to come out and collect the children a little boy in her class got very upset because another boy skipped him in the line (this is a major NO NO to 4/5yr olds in DD's class Grin) anyway - his dad bent down to him and held him by the shoulders giving him a little but firm shake while telling him to "man up" over & over until he caught me and other parents giving him Hmm type looks . The dad got embarrassed and then started to try make his son laugh . Should i have told this dad to back off ? It's been playing on my mind all day tbh .

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 13/05/2011 18:28

You are over reacting.

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 18:29

What could you have said though?

It's not what I would have done, but he wasn't punching him in the face.

I think he got the message with the circle of Hmm faces.

BristolJim · 13/05/2011 18:29

I really don't see the problem. Keep your nose out is all I can suggest I'm afraid.

valiumredhead · 13/05/2011 18:29

Good grief!

lockets · 13/05/2011 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PintOfStellaAndBuckfastChaser · 13/05/2011 18:34

I wonder how long it will be before the 'phone ss' brigade turn up! Hmm Grin

Popbiscuit · 13/05/2011 18:34

You're over reacting. The poor dad; he probably didn't think that one through very well, although I would definitely raise an eyebrow at my DH if he did that!

sleepingsowell · 13/05/2011 18:36

I wouldn't have let this get to me I don't think.

Having said that, I don't agree with the dad's approach, it's definitely a bit crap and 'boys don't cry' rubbish instead of being sympathetic to the boy as he should have been.

But, that is his (and many, many people's) parenting approach and you're not going to change it! It's not anything other than a difference of opinion on parenting style I think, so don't let it play on your mind any more.

clam · 13/05/2011 18:36

What are you suggesting he should have done?

beesimo · 13/05/2011 18:37

Don't set foot in Yorkshire OP you'll hear men bellowing at their lads from three fields yonder!

worraliberty · 13/05/2011 18:38

As much as I wouldn't have used the phrase 'man up' I would have told my child to get over it.

I don't see the problem.

NorthernGobshite · 13/05/2011 18:39

I think you're over reacting.

WizardofOs · 13/05/2011 18:39

Well I would have said 'oh dear never mind' which is not that much different!

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 18:41

Yes clam, I was wondering how the OP would have dealt with it.

I'd just have told DD not to make such a fuss about nothing.

HRHShoesytwoesy · 13/05/2011 18:41

yabu

thisisyesterday · 13/05/2011 18:41

i think the dad handled it very well actually.... why on earth would you feel sorry for the boy?

I've been known to tell ds1 to "get a grip" when he's been creating over some slight, and yes, I then try and make him laugh!

lockets · 13/05/2011 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernGobshite · 13/05/2011 18:50

I would have said, and have said, 'get a grip' or similar tbh.

PatriciaHolm · 13/05/2011 18:54

What on earth would you tell him to back off for? What were you expecting him to do? It sounds like a perfectly fine interaction. If it were your DD what would you have done?

sleepingsowell · 13/05/2011 18:56

thing is, when someone pushes in front of you, it is rude and annoying.

I don't think being told to 'man up' is dealing with a child's upset well at all. It would be dealing with it WELL, to acknowledge that the other child pushed in and was rude. What about when you're driving, and someone cuts you up outrageously, do you want your passenger to say "oh for gods sake get over it" or do you want them to say "yeah, I saw that, they cut you up, what an idiot"...... I know which I would prefer. Why is it that we wouldn't do kids the same courtesy

Doesn't mean we can't also give it a proper perspective (eg, yes, they pushed in, that was rude but it's nothing to get really upset about) but saying 'man up' or 'get over it' is not great

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 19:06

I agree what's rude and that need discussing with the DC sleepingsowell, but in a situation when they're going into school it's just not possible to have a full on conversation about the ins and outs of queuing.

I think the world would be a better place if more people did brush off such small things.

Yes it's annoying, but not to the extent that it's worth anything more than just a dismissal and 'be off with you' remark .

bluepaws · 13/05/2011 19:08

good god, i have heard some foul things said by parents/carers to little ones - but this is nonsense

activate · 13/05/2011 19:09

get a grip is right approach

man up is a way of saying get a grip to some people

nobdoy likes a wimpy kid - boy or girl

MadamDeathstare · 13/05/2011 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepingsowell · 13/05/2011 19:15

I agree with you Agent, people do need to brush off the small things, it's true

I just know, for my ds, he was far MORE likely to brush stuff off if someone acknowledged that something annoying had happened. If you just say 'get over it' the child then feels that not only did someone push in, but no adult gives a damn about it and they are far more likely to feel upset and annoyed imo!

Doesn't take much longer to acknowledge your child's upset but put it in it's proper perspective, than it does to shake 'em by the shoulders and tell them to 'man up' it's just a different approach imo Smile