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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to noit expect a smear test to be very painfull?

89 replies

ledkr · 13/05/2011 16:35

I had one today,i am 43 have always kept up to date with them but have always found them to be fairly painfull,its the bit where they scrape your cervix.it feels as if a nevre is being touched and may bum shoots of the bed,not very dignified with a speculum inside you Hmm I am pretty good with pain normally but smears really bother me. It was more painfull today tho,my dd was born 14 wks ago but by section so shouldnt be that.Any ideas of how to make it a bit less traumatic would also be welcome.

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Longtalljosie · 13/05/2011 17:06

ledkr is it always the same nurse who does it? I think some people are definitely better at doing it than others

AnyFucker · 13/05/2011 17:07

Grin @ "a little something"

next smear appt, make it a 5pm Friday one and have a glass of vino before you go

Ripeberry · 13/05/2011 17:07

I've got to have one, not had one for 5 yrs Sad as everytime I managed to book an appointment it was that time of the month (Periods all over the place), so I gave up going to them.

So you say mid month is the best time? They can't do it at the start of your period? Blush

AnyFucker · 13/05/2011 17:09

ripe, 5 yrs ?

please sort out an appt

Original poster
ledkr · 13/05/2011 17:09

yep i am thinking along those lines too long tall ive had far less painfull ones from different people,i am a nurse but dont know how to do a smear,they probably do a one day training tbh dont they. Just read on net that if your womb is tilted-mine is-they should do it in a different position.

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stickylittlefingers · 13/05/2011 17:09

I have been known to faint Blush... Weirdly, I have never found it painful, but often found it difficult to retain consciousness! I recommend a nice, experienced practice nurse - my worse experience was with a very nice but very nervous young locum. I went out cold... Blush Blush Blush

I think I'm thenthitive...

goodegg · 13/05/2011 17:11

I had a brill GP do my last smear. She got me to put my hands as fists under my bum and let my knees fall apart, opened me right up Blush

Original poster
ledkr · 13/05/2011 17:12

Af,pray tell,who will buy these plaster flaps?Are they ornaments,will you paint them or maybe the dc;s can earn some extra pocket money,you could sell them to the medical proffession to practice pain free smears.

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HalfTermHero · 13/05/2011 17:18

Next year it is!

I can't face googling the brush, tbh.
Years ago I had a smear done by a elderly female doctor who was so fucking fab that after the speculum was in I did not even know she had done the smear as she was that quick and gentle. She is retired now though.

You may have a point re tilted wombs making it worse. I was once told I have a 'retro cervix'. I have always been proud of that, as makes my fanjo sound cool as fuck

Original poster
ledkr · 13/05/2011 17:22

Like a sea shell. Well i have been told that so next time i will be demanding a retro cervix specialist,and drink,and take heavy drugs god damn it.

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TheCrackFox · 13/05/2011 17:24

I've had one nurse who i felt like kicking in the face it was so sore. I was recalled as she hadn't done it properly but the next time (different nurse) it was completely painless.

ACL · 13/05/2011 17:27

My gyne recommended to breathe in as speculum is inserted - fab advice to make it comfy.

DontGoCurly · 13/05/2011 17:57

Went for one the other day. Asked for a long speculum and it was easy. Previously it would take them 10 minutes digging about with me in agony! ('ve got a tilted cervix.)

Long speculum for the win!

HHLimbo · 13/05/2011 18:17

I didnt want the nurse poking around down there making me nervous, so I put the speculum in myself and it was painless.

Original poster
ledkr · 13/05/2011 18:32

Oh good idea hh.Like a giant metal tampon Grin did they mind?
dont go I shall certainly insist on a long one next time

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 13/05/2011 18:35

My last one was horrible, that's the last time I let a student anywhere near my fanjo... Sad. I mean, I know they have to practise, but it bloody hurt and I was sobbing, felt so embarrassed.

fridakahlo · 13/05/2011 18:39

I actually find them less painful with the brush, the scraping sensation you used to get with the wooden stick was vile! The speculums are vile though I find the plastic one's slightly less intimidating.

electra · 13/05/2011 18:42

I had one with a brush recently - it didn't hurt in the least - nor did it 'pinch' or anything else. It did bleed though.

sausagesandmarmelade · 13/05/2011 18:44

What us girls have to go thru eh........

But better to go thru that than something worse...one day, someone will invent a pain free way of having these things done.

tattygirl · 13/05/2011 18:49

My most recent one hurt like hell too, so much so I passed out as I was getting dressed afterwards. Yet the smear I had 3 years previously was nearly pain free. Is it an age thing? I'm 45.

Zingylemontart · 13/05/2011 18:51

I'm not sure I'm right, but I always imagined the clicking was a ratchet mechanism on the speculum as they crank you open. Blush

AnnieBesant · 13/05/2011 18:55

Long speculum here too, and I lie on my side. Makes the spreading the legs a bit tricky, but is more comfy. I can never remember which side it is I have to lie on though at first Blush

DontGoCurly · 13/05/2011 18:56

I think it is, it's a screw and you can hear them turning it....click, click, while you lie there hoping your cervix is not like the elusive Scarlet pimpernel !

Confused
Maxibo · 13/05/2011 19:17

Wah!!! I'm sure the pain levels have to do with the technique of the person doing the smear. I've had an abnormal smear test so needed a coloscopy and a LLETZ followed by aftercare.
But none of that, including the subsequent birth of my son, hurt as much as my last smear test. It was like something out of a carry on film maybe 'carry on up the canal'. She got me up on the bed, said the usual 'ankles together, knees apart' and then announced - 'I'm sorry but this bit is going to HURT'. Then proceeded to rummage around before proclaiming 'you're a little tight' and 'I can't find your cervix' (!). Ummm well under different circumstances I'd take that as a compliment. She then dropped the 'brush' and said 'oh lord I don't think I can do that again' (obviously not a compliment).
Bring back BIG NURSE JULIE. We would laugh at her bustling around in her competent, matronly fashion but she was truly a fab nurse. She would warm the speculum under hot water, place it on your leg asking is that ok' before doing the deed. Bob's your uncle , Fanny's your aunt, job done. So YANBU it should not HURT but may be uncomfortable.

Original poster
ledkr · 13/05/2011 19:19

but we heard the clicking when the spec was fully open it was when she brushed i heard it wtf? I bet it would be pain free if it was for blokes.
I can always imagine my cervix being prised open as they turn the screw Hmm
Could be age i suppose,as if we havent got enough to deal with.
rhinestone I once got asked if students could practice internals.There was literally a queue of spotty student drs at the end of the bed. I politely declined Shock

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