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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a bit peeved that DS1 has had something taken and lost at school...

13 replies

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 14:15

DS1 is four and the other day he wore his new hat to school (not a problem, they can wear hats for playtime outside if they want to). When he came home he told me that a boy had taken his hat (which he loved - and it had a zip pocket with his money and his other friend's dinosaur inside) and thrown it over the fence.

I've not heard about this from the school, just from my DS and his friend who's dinosaur went with it. Apparently they've looked for the hat and it's gone.

And that's it.

Am a bit pissed off, but is this one of those things you just have to suck up when your child starts school? Am also a bit as the boy who took his hat also punched him in the stomach recently and am a bit worried he's picking on my DS.

I have absolutely no idea what to do in this situation, if anything. It pisses me off that I now have to go out and buy him another hat (which he will not be wearing to school!) when I've only just bought him one and whilst it wasn't expensive I'm a bit narked I need to pay out for another.

IABU?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 13/05/2011 14:17

look in lost property

keep looking too,amazing what turns up eventually!!

Original poster

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 14:18

Nope, it's definitely gone over the hedge - apparently they had chair out to look but the fence is very high (and I think there is a river on the other side.)

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 14:27

I'd buy about four hats, put his name in them, and definately let him wear them to school.

Else what's the point of ever wearing a hat?

You're obviously taking advice to not let them out in the sun without it or you'd not have bought the first one.

They lose just about every item of clothing at some point, name in it or not.

Only send them with stuff you're not bothered about.

Just out of interest, who looked over the wall with a chair? And is it possible for you to look next to the river for it?

I can't see anyone seriously nicking off with a 4 YOs hat.

Original poster

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 14:37

I'm not sure as that's coming back to me second hand. (I don't pick my son up from school anymore as he's just started going to after school club.)

The problem is that the hedge that it has been thrown over leads down to a bank of the river (I think) and the hedge and fence is about 7ft high.

What concerns me really is that this boy is (possibly) picking on my DS and there doesn't seem to be anything being done about it...

OP posts:

Original poster

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 14:39

(But am not sure if am being PFB with him as he is my eldest. At the end of the day, it's only a hat. And possibly a learning curve. Am just a bit concerned about the lack of direct contact with/from teh school and their seeming lack of action when things happen. This isn't the first time there's been an incident that hasn't been reported to me and it just feels like nothing is done.)

OP posts:

countrybump · 13/05/2011 14:42

If you're concerned that your DS is being picked on, then you need to mention this incident, and the punching in the stomach, to his teacher and ask them to keep an eye on it and deal with any issues that do arise.

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 14:47

Something probably is being done at the time if a teacher sees what's happening, and they generally do.

There'd be no reason to bring it up with you, it's just part and parcel of supervising 4 YOs who are learning how to get on with each other, and one of a thousand interactions between them over the day.

At the moment it doesn't sound too bad, but if you think it's upsetting your son eg he doesn't want to go to school because of the boy, then have a word with the teacher who will be able to give you the rest of the story

Original poster

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 14:50

He got hit in the face a while back (by a different boy!) and I only knew because I found a cold compress type thing in his bag. When I rang the school they were fairly keen to write the incident off. I don't want to be over the top but he came into the class after the first term and is one of the youngest (if not the youngest.)

OP posts:

oldraver · 13/05/2011 14:52

I would go and have a good look where it was 'lost'. I noticed toward the end of half term that one of DS's coats was missing. The next week I walked into town a way I would not normally walk and found DS's coat put through some trellis. His usually parks on that bit of road and it had probably been dropped. It was in good condition considering it had been out in the rain for nearly two weeks

scaryteacher · 13/05/2011 14:57

Ds is 15 and it isn't any different. Things will get taken for spite or because they can be, and any school that tells you there isn't a problem with this is lying through it's teeth imo (and that's as a mum and a teacher).

girlfromdownsouth · 13/05/2011 15:03

cherry bring it up with the school. It is an issue - the hat was deliberately taken off his head and deliberately thrown over the hedge. He has lost a new hat and his friend has lost a dinosaur and your son has previously been punched in the stomach and hit in the face. The school needs to take this seriously and not palm you off. You have a right to know these things. My DS is the smallest and one of the youngest in his class and this kind of thing did happen quite a bit at the beginning until the school realised that it wasn't acceptable and I wasn't just going to shut up and go away. I don't care if the child is 4, 14 or anywhere inbetween, it is not acceptable. Rant Over

RunforFun · 13/05/2011 15:06

Why would you let a 4yr old take money with him ?

Or am I reading that wrong ?

Original poster

cherryburton · 13/05/2011 17:27

They haven't contacted me and I won't be in there until Monday morning but I will have a word when I drop him off just to see what they have to say. It just seems like lines of communication are not very open with the school unless you specifically make an appointment and the class seems to have about three teachers which makes it quite confusing to know who you are supposed to actually deal with.

RunforFun re the money, he'd found a 5p and insisted on zipping it into his pocket. It's not like a significant amount of money, it just makes me sad that he was so excited about having found the money, and wearing his new hat...

OP posts:

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