Actually, I had a similar problem. This might be a long-winded response, so take it or leave it.
With us, the whole 'chores war' turned out to be a misunderstanding based on (1) the gender divide (2) completely different love languages - basically a storm in a cereal bowl!
Bear in mind your husband's mind is probably wired up so that he genuinely doesn't see the stuff that doesn't bother him - like the milk carton. Also, remember that he may be unaware of the need to keep being chivalrous now you're married. You may need to be a bit patient and clever in letting him know what's expected. Here's the mental obstacle: You're a woman and so was his mum! You're trying to get him to treat you differently, as if you're his wife, not his mum. BUT in nagging at him, you run the risk of reinforcing his inclination to think women are all mothers/maids. So you have to talk to him about chores in a way he's never talked about them before. Preferably, in the context of lots of bedroom activity (otherwise he may do the chores but he'll do them very sadly, and you'll have won the house battle but lost the relational war).
To start off, you might need to just tell him again how you feel - at a time when he's listening, NOT straight after work. All men are cave men at that time. When talking about the issue, realise that to your husband, it's just a bowl and a carton of milk - you're trying to tell him it makes you feel disrespected, unloved and mad as hell WITHOUT sounding neurotic. This is very difficult, but your husband might as well start learning 'women' language at some stage. Just be aware of the potential absurdity of your position - even when you explain the emotional significance of this whole issue, it will probably seem ridiculous to him for a while and he might be exasperated and dismissive. Instead of mud-slinging back, you need to keep laughing and flirting and agreeing that there's a big difference in your perspectives, but nevertheless, this is the place you're coming from.
Resentment can just mushroom if not sorted out at the start so we found it really important to address stuff, no matter how stupid it sounded at the time. It's worth avoiding the '3 years on' scenario where you've developed a reputation for 'nagging' and he's resentful that this 'petty' stuff has eclipsed your admiration for him.
And maybe he'll never change, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you - I wish I'd remembered the zillion other ways my husband bends backwards to try and make me happy before I blasted him over leaving his shoes on the stairs!
Bottom line, keep it short, focus on the positives (especially his manhood) and make sure he knows you are at least 90% more interested in his strengths than his failings.
The sisterhood will probably hate this, but marriage is always going to be about give and take, isn't it?