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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not feed the children until they clean up their mess?

55 replies

Branno · 12/05/2011 22:00

feeding baby so excuse typos! DD x 2, aged 4 since April and will be 3 in August. Favourite game is to ransack the kitchen in the am - eggs, flour, jelly you name it all over the floor. I was cleaning it up then thought "hang on - not on". They cleaned very well the other day when they were banned from ice cream. Today I said " enough, you made the mess you clean it and until the kitchen floor is cleaned no school, no food and no fun from me" That was at 6am - by 2pm still not done and an air of revolution. They are in bed for nap - aibu? Or simply breaking their spirit? Want to bawl and DH is away. Posting from LA + wonky times.

OP posts:
Meglet · 12/05/2011 22:03

You haven't fed them since breakfast?!

Mind you when mine trash the living room or pull everything out of their bedrooms then they don't get lunch / tea on the table until they have at least cleared a path through the mess (10 min clear up usually). They're only 4 & 2 Blush. Think it comes from living in a small house.

FabbyChic · 12/05/2011 22:05

Sorry but you do not withhold food from children, that is child cruelty and can be construed as abuse.

Don't let them fuck about in the kitchen with food! Food is not a toy it is not to be played with.

troisgarcons · 12/05/2011 22:05

amused

Wish I was the fly on the wall in the attendance office with 'my brats arent coming to school because they didnt wash the kitchen floor'

Anyway - get cupboard locks. Flour and eggs today, drink bleach tomorrow

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 12/05/2011 22:07

Yes. You are being very unreasonable indeed.
8 hours with no food because they made a mess ?

Sorry, but what the fuck is wrong with you?

Make them clean up. Take away toys. Say no TV but you do not refuse to FEED your child. That is abusive.

millie30 · 12/05/2011 22:07

Sorry but I would never withhold food, it's not a luxury! YABU.

BeerTricksPotter · 12/05/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A1980 · 12/05/2011 22:08

"Favourite game is to ransack the kitchen in the am - eggs, flour, jelly you name it all over the floor."

Why do you allow them to play their "favourite game" then. I can't imagine many paretns would allow a 2 and 4 year old to throw food all over the floor. Can't you put a mat down under the table while they eat. You're expecting a 2 and 4 year old to wash the kitchen floor after themselves Shock

YABU. Kids are messy especially at that age. You shouldnt' allow them to throw food and ransack the the kitchen.

troisgarcons · 12/05/2011 22:08

If they are hungry enough they will eat off the floor ....... amazed non one has commented on the 'no school' till they clean up .

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 12/05/2011 22:08

Hmm what did school say about it?

theredhen · 12/05/2011 22:09

Teach your children not to do these things or get some cupboard locks. YABVU

PiazzaDellaRotonda · 12/05/2011 22:09

You allow them to trash food? Well that's sending just the right message isn't it? How about a little control - have you heard of that? That's the one where kids don't just do as they please and then get punished for it anyway.

Sheeeesh.

millie30 · 12/05/2011 22:09

Have you even fed them at all today? You say this happened at 6am. Did they at least have breakfast?

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 22:12

Awww they're only little, threre are more gentle ways of getting them to take responsibility.

Perhaps you could have got them to help you clear up, it's a bit of a big job to do if you don't know how/where to start.

Saying no to ice cream is fine because it's a treat, but they need to eat something, it's not a reward to eat it's a necessity.

Is there any way you can contact your DH and get a bit of moral support from him?

nenevomito · 12/05/2011 22:14

I'd help them clean it up when they get up and get some cupboard locks quick smart.

My child has gone over 8 hours without food when he's refused point blank to eat his dinner. As a one off "abuse" is a bit strong.

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 22:16

They're only 4 and 2 YO troisgarcons, I doubt the lack of schooling was a serious threat.

fifi25 · 12/05/2011 22:19

they are in bed at 10pm for a nap?? is this a wind up

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 12/05/2011 22:19

I think it is abusive to withold food from a 2 year old (3 in august) and a just turned 4 year old for 8 hours - so far - and the message that no food will be coming their way until they clean up.

What else can it be called but abusive?

A1980 · 12/05/2011 22:24

"they are in bed at 10pm for a nap?? is this a wind up"

Fifi25 read the post. The OP is in Los Angeles which is 8-9 hours behind us. It's 1-2pm where the OP is.

strawberrymewmew · 12/05/2011 22:25

I can't believe anyone would think this is an appropriate punishment for a 2 and 4 yo for making a mess! Horrid and it is abuse!

wasabipeanut · 12/05/2011 22:25

Using food as a weapon and witholding it as such is pretty crappy parenting IMO. OP, get a grip and some cupboard locks.

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 22:25

hehe, posters not got their reading eyes on tonight?

The OP said she's in LA (which I presume is Los Angeles?) and it's 2pm there fifi.

FannyNil · 12/05/2011 22:25

Put the jelly, flour etc out of reach. Put locks on cupboards. Do not withhold food, though - this is abusive and anyway will also make them cranky and more difficult. Take away favourite toys one by one, no TV, early bed, naughty step etc.

MrsPresley · 12/05/2011 22:27

8 Hours without food is cruel in my opinion, but if they done that at 6am, then where were you at the time?

Also if it was 6am have they had any breakfast or have they not eaten since the night before?

FabbyChic · 12/05/2011 22:28

Could the OP just be a troll? It's a bit extreme to withhold food.

fifi25 · 12/05/2011 22:28

Thought LA was some sort of abbreviation

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