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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that most mums of 8 month olds aren't lying in the darkness trying to feed them to sleep?

76 replies

fartingfran · 12/05/2011 21:27

OK so she's got the snots and might be teething but she's had 2 x 30 minutes sleep since 10am, she's had Calpol and Nurofen, and I've been rocking, patting, shushing and all that crap since 6pm and still she's awake. Have given up and gone to bed with her and she's just sucking/chirping/screaming/sucking/singing alternately. Haven't a fucking clue what to do now. Pissed off and fed up. Serves me right for trying to offer advice to people with similar problems recently. What the fuck do I know?!

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 12/05/2011 21:29

Put her in her cot. Go downstairs. Make tea. Watch TV.

NickNacks · 12/05/2011 21:29

If it helps- I was a smug mum of a fab sleeper and this week DD (also 8 month) has an ear infection. Oh joy [angry}

NickNacks · 12/05/2011 21:30

Angry of course

kalo12 · 12/05/2011 21:31

poor you. my ds was the same. lowest point was 16 months. you just have to go with the flow, you know you're doing the right thing. bloody annoying i know.

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 21:31

Just keep your mind on it being a short term problem, and do anything you're both comfortable with to get her (and you) some rest.

Sounds to me you're fightig a losing battle, just get her up and go downstairs until she's ready to get off to sleep?

petisa · 12/05/2011 21:31

YABU I feed my 8 month old to sleep lying in the darkness 3 times a day every day! Grin Not planning on giving up either, for the time being.

Poor you though, it's so tiring and exasperating when they won't go to sleep. Can you not plonk her on the floor with some toys and make yourself a cuppa and ignore her for a while? She'll get tired eventually!

cleanandclothed · 12/05/2011 21:32

Been there, done that, and it sucks, doesn't it? But at 8 months at least they don't really remember from one night to the next. So just because you do it tonight doesn't mean you will have to do it tomorrow, so I say do whatever it takes just to get the most sleep for both of you, so you can start all over again tomorrow! If it is cold/teeth then 2-3 days and it will all get better.

Original poster
fartingfran · 12/05/2011 21:33

Curry I did that earlier. The howling woke my other one up. And though she's cheery when I'm with her she's still ill, feels hot and so I don't like letting her get so hysterical and overheated. But I do very much see your point.

OP posts:
Helzapoppin · 12/05/2011 21:33

Well, maybe not 'most' on any given night, but I think that we've all been there. You have my sympathies!
I'm not an authority on encouraging good sleep habits in babies (mine slept through on her second birthday) so I'd do what you've done- get into bed,feed her and eventually one of you will doze off. If it's her, slip out and pour a glass of wine. If it's you, she'll soon follow. Or, if you have one at home, send DP up, shut the bathroom door and run a bath (wine optional).
Good luck....

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 21:35

'Make tea. Watch TV.'

That's what I was thinking in my head too curry, and would/am doing Grin

petisa · 12/05/2011 21:35

Mine has the snots too, she's been waking up 5/6 times before midnight and then a few times between midnight and 7am, and a couple of nights ago she woke up at 2am and spent an hour kicking me in the head, pulling my hair, shouting and laughing, sitting up and clapping her hands. Oh the joys!

Just leave her alone and pretend she's not there for a while and get some nice biscuits for your cuppa or a glass of wine, and watch telly or MN.

Original poster
fartingfran · 12/05/2011 21:37

Every night DP suggests taking her downstairs. But because when she gets this way it happens every night for 7-10 days I feel it would confuse her doing it that much. If I thought I'd get away with it I'd put her in somebody else's the garden. It's when they're so overtired you want to give up but you know it'll be a thousand times worse if you do. Gah.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 12/05/2011 21:37

Prop her cot up then. And administer Medised.

Then go downstairs. Make tea. Watch TV.

She will be fine.

Check after 10 minutes and go and stroker her head / coo at her. Then make more tea.

petisa · 12/05/2011 21:38

Don't worry about encouraging bad habits OP. When they're ill the usual routine goes out the window, but they get back into it again when they get well, if they are usually good sleepers that is.

nethunsreject · 12/05/2011 21:39

I feel your pain!

Dh has been sent up while I have a breather. And mine is a year in 2 weeks.

Ds 1 slept like an angel from day 1, pretty much. Ds2, not so much...

Original poster
fartingfran · 12/05/2011 21:40

Thank you for saying everyone's been there. I don't know anyone in RL whose DC are as bad at sleeping as mine are. DS is nearly 4 and only recently has started sleeping til 5ish a couple of times a week.

Child-rearing: I'm doing it wrong. Confused

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 12/05/2011 21:40

ooh Medised for a 8 month old, is this going to kick right off now?

petisa · 12/05/2011 21:40

Sorry xposted. Hmm every night is a different matter isn't it. She's still only 8 months old though, plenty of time to get into a good routine when she's older. I would rather have her downstairs than in the cot crying, but that's ME, we're all different. Feel for you though, tis v tiring when they won't give you your you time at the end of the day.

Georgimama · 12/05/2011 21:40

If she's ill she needs you. It is soul destroyingly hard work and I have every sympathy.

pointythings · 12/05/2011 21:42

If she's ill and feverish, she needs you. It sucks. DD2 did this to me when she was 19 months, developed slapped cheek, which is supposed to have no symptoms - HAH! I spent 3 nights in her room, got a total of 4.5 hours of sleep over the entire period. Had a job interview on day 4, needless to say I didn't get the job.

This too shall pass. BTW 8 months is also a period when a major sleep regression can kick in. I know you didn't want to hear this

Original poster
fartingfran · 12/05/2011 21:43

I'm awaiting next month's sleep regression with great anticipation and terror.

OP posts:
pointythings · 12/05/2011 21:44

And you're nto doing childrearing wrong, you just have children who don't sleep. They'll make up for it in other ways - like being brilliant eaters, early readers, Olympic athletes, Oscar-winning actors .

petisa · 12/05/2011 21:45

Plus agree with Georgimama, when they're ill they need you. Don't think you're doing it wrong! My first has slept 12 hours a night from 10 weeks. Dd2 feeds 2/3 times a night at 8 months when well, co-sleeps, took ages to get her to nap, fed to sleep for 2 naps and at night...

Poor you, it's soooo hard when you get so little sleep. Just think though, she'll probably be sleeping so much better by the time she hits one.

Bumperlicioso · 12/05/2011 21:45

Oh, DD2 (7.5mo) has woken up 3 times since feeding her to sleep at 7.30. She can be resettled at this time of night, but if last night is anything to go by she will feed again when I go to bed, wake a couple of times before 2, feed around 3 then if I am very lucky sleep till 7.30 or v unlucky wake at 5.30, feed, through up and stay awake (as per early this morning). Sorry, meaning to empathise rather than compete. According to one of my NCT group to day there is no way she needs to be fed in the night still Hmm. Try telling her that!

If she were refusing to go to sleep though I would just get her up. Tis crap though, you have my sympathies. Perfectly normal though I think, but fucking exhausting nonetheless.

CurrySpice · 12/05/2011 21:46

Sorry, I think the rules might have changed for Medised since mine were little Blush but I suggested it as it has a decongestnt and she is bunged up.

Forget that bit and concentrate on the tea and TV