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to expect my mum to care?

7 replies

febull · 12/05/2011 21:06

I've just been diagnosed with bipolar. Bit shocked/ very emotional as up until yesterday I thought I was quite normal (don't we all?) Also feel slightly ashamed but thats another issue! Anyway my mum lives in remote Africa so I sent her a text (madness I know, texts go through but calls don't) to let her know - hoping that she would find a working phone to call me and, well i don't really know what but I guess just be there in some way? She sent a message straight back saying - "OK it takes all sorts" and then went off rambling about some elephants.

OP posts:

Meglet · 12/05/2011 21:08


Has she always been a bit cold Sad?


abbierhodes · 12/05/2011 21:12

Erm...does she know what bipolar is? Because that sounds like she doesn't quite get it.


AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 21:13

Ouch febull, that was out of order for her to say that.

Is she the type of person (generation?) who finds mental health issues difficult and embarrassing to talk about?

I'm afraid in my opinion YABU to 'expect' a mother figure to care, it's a rule of thumb rather than a guarantee.

But that can sometimes make it harder when yours shows you again and again that they perhaps don't and you look at what other people have with their mums.

Please don't be ashamed of who you are, anyone who doesn't/won't accept that person is best left by the wayside.


MoonGirl1981 · 12/05/2011 21:18

'OK, it takes all sorts?'

Do you think she misunderstood and thought you were coming out as bisexual??

And don't be ashamed of it, you are who you are!!



MoonGirl1981 · 12/05/2011 21:19

I meant don't be ashamed of being bi-polar, not bisexual.




diggingintheribs · 12/05/2011 21:21

It is an odd response. Could she have misunderstood or as abbie says just not understand what it is? Obviously don't know what you said but her response sounds like she's a replying to a text saying 'i've dyed my hair blue'

Is her living in remote africa fairly new?

You shouldn't be ashamed and you are normal! If you had another illness eg diabetes, would you be ashamed?


febull · 13/05/2011 10:30

OMG i feel rough. Took the pills i was prescribed last night and they knocked me out.

Thanks for you responses guys. I'll try to answer some of the questions! Meglet, i've always tried to convince myself that she's not cold more that she's far too wrapped up in herself and her exciting life most of the time.

Abbie, she definitly knows what Bipolar is as has a (in her words) 'poor' friend with it. She's only 54 and had a mental breakdown herself two years ago - i found her with her face in the gas fire. I then looked after her for ages after this as she couldn't cope with life and missed Africa but once she felt better off she & Dad went back to Africa. They first went when my first daughter was 6mths old and were there for three years working with street children/ building a home and working as missonaries.

Moongirl, i think mum would be happier if i had said i was bisexual as then she could do her 'god squad' work on curing me:-)

I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different from her really, i just hope I don't end up doing the same to my two beautiful girls. My sister rang late last night and pointed out that mum's always been self absorbed and that i should get down about it. Just upsetting when everyone else appears to have supportive mums and right now I could do with one.

Right enough rambling else I'll end up talking myself into depression. I really hope I can cope with this bipolar - although I guess I've managed 33 years so far xxxx

OP posts:
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