to take DS abroad for 10 days?

[SisterCarrie]

A friend has asked me to spend a week looking after her son while she attends a conference abroad. My friend lives in Egypt and I would bring my own DS, who would be 11 months when we go. If I go, I would stay a little bit extra at the start and end of their trip so we could catch up and do some sightseeing together.

We have gone to visit family in the UK for similar lengths of time in the past, but DP has very legitimate concerns about safety (I am reassured by my friend that they live in an expat area and were perfectly safe at all times during the revolution) and the heat. He's been amazing actually, as I thought that he would flat out say he didn't want us to go. But I do get the feeling he would rather we didn't - as much for our safety as for the fact he would miss seeing DS at the weekend (their paths never cross during the week as DP leaves at 6am, returns between 8 and 10pm).

My instinct is that it will be an interesting place to visit; I haven't seen my friend and her son for almost 9 years and DS is still v portable. But AIBU to ignore DP's (well-hidden) concerns around safety and take DS away on what ultimately is a nice treat for me, even though I will be 'working' some of the time, looking after my friend's DS after school?

I don't think YABU. Your DS is probably a bit too small to appreciate the foreign nature of it, but I doubt he'll come to any harm.
Would it be possible for your DH to come out and meet your for a weekend? Egypt is not that far away really.

Things are still not settled in Cairo, are they? There was a big unrest over the weekend. Would you be in Cairo?

You're right, Blu, it was connected specifically to a Salafist / Copt issue (have a look here) so I'm not too worried about that given I don't intend to leave the expat area where my friend lives - they and most of their friends stayed put during the revolution and saw very little 'action'. Any skirmishes then or now don't seem to be addressed towards the expat community. Though last weekend's OBL activity may have repercussions, far more than the revolution would. That's been something that has been nagging away at me, irrational though it may be.

Kreecher - that is a lovely idea and it would be amazing if DP could join us but sadly he has no leave remaining for this year. Plus we couldn't afford it - my flights aren't costing me anything.

That's a shame about the leave, my suggestion was going to be that you go on your own and leave your son to have some quality time with his dad. Personally, I don't think this is a particularly good time to take a child to Egypt, particularly not such a young child who will get no benefit from the visit himself.

I think taking your baby away for 10 days is fine, his dad will miss him, but these things happen from time to time, and it would be a good opportunity for you to spend time with your friend. What would your week looking after her child entail? Taking him to school and then staying within the confines of an expat suburb? Or is your friend on the Red Sea coast? Where there never seems to be any risk of disturbance.

I think it's natural for your dp to be anxious, but your friend would hardly encourage you to join her and her own DS in a dangerous situation, would she? She would never put her own DS at risk.

If it is risky, I don't think the idea of going without your baby is an ideal solution at all! babies tend not to view their mothers as expendable!

The Foreign Office advice is quite detailed, here and as they advise in advance of things like planned demonstrations, you should find it easy to avoid heading into trouble spots.

Tell your dp that visitors to the UK were hardly at risk in the Cotswolds during the Student protests in London.

Thanks, Blu, I will look at what the FCO site says in the morning. I know DS won't have a clue what's going on, but you're right, I probably won't get the chance to visit her for another 8 years and she has been very reassuring about the area she lives in and the amenities on offer there. It is a suburb of Cairo we would be in, we will have a driver from her place of work if we want to go anywhere (shops, museum) and yes, I would be just taking her DS to school, picking him up, doing dinner and food shopping and taking him to extra curricular things. It seems very safe and there will be plenty of other expat people with little kids about as well, no doubt (if it's anywhere like where I spent my childhood).

I think DP is happier now - he was encouraging us to go this evening - so I will probably take this chance while I'm able to!