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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I said DS could walk home from school by himself

44 replies

MarioandLuigi · 12/05/2011 10:21

And now I am feeling a bit nervous about it.

He is 10 and in year 5, he is sensible and can cross the road well (only one road). His friends all walk home by themselves now and its only a 5ish minute walk.

Told my Mum and she was horrified that I would let him walk home, and she has made me doubt myself.

OP posts:

bonkers20 · 12/05/2011 11:27

Sounds about right to me. If you don't start giving him some independence now you're going to be having kittens when he goes off to secondary school.
What exactly is your Mum worried about?

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 12/05/2011 16:59

Well he was fine - got home in about 5 minutes and was very pleased with himself.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 12/05/2011 16:59

My Mum has a fimr belief that there is a Paedo on every corner, thats what she is worried about.

OP posts:

LineRunner · 12/05/2011 17:04

It's a good age for any child to be able to walk from A to B independently, so YANBU.

You do need to make sure you've spoken about what what he would do if he were approached by someone (not just strangers); and road safety.

If he doesn't learn to be confident at age 10, what on earth does your mum think will happen when he starts secondary!

Glad it all went ok today.

usualsuspect · 12/05/2011 17:05

He will have to get himself to secondary school by walking or bus on his own ..they need to have the skills to do that , so you are absolutely doing the right thing

QueentessentialExcel · 12/05/2011 17:07

That is the one thing that scare me about returning to the uk. My son has walked to and from school since he was 6 1/2, as this is the norm here. A 15 minute walk. He will lose so much independence....

But op, you are doing the right thing. I doubt there are paed os on every corner

mrsravelstein · 12/05/2011 17:09

my year 5 nearly 10 year old has also just started cycling to school, it's a 10 min walk... at the moment we leave the house together and i meet him at school just so i know he's got there OK. and same on way home, i meet him at school, give him the house keys and he meets me back there.

i've said he can start doing it totally on his own from sept when he'll be year 6, but i'd say where we are this is fairly early and most kids wouldn't do the journey themselves until secondary school year 7.

DottyDot · 12/05/2011 17:09

ds1 is in year 4 at the moment and can't wait to start year 5 as we've agreed he can cycle (or walk) to and from school - it's a 5 - 10 minute walk away and has one main road which has a lollipop person.

I think it's essential they get used to having a bit of independence and responsibility in years 5 and 6, because from year 7 he'll be having to make his own way to secondary school - only about 1.5 miles away, but a very different kettle of fish!

mrsravelstein · 12/05/2011 17:10

and in fact he wouldn't be let out of the school gates unaccompanied at this age, i'm not sure that that's allowed until year 7 at his school.

colditz · 12/05/2011 17:12

it's a funny thing... I was watching some local kids 'walking' to school, all aged about nine, and I do wander if walking our children to school at adult pace is making our country's kids fat - because all the children I've seen 'walking' independantly don't actually walk at all. They hop, skip, jog, run and jump!

prettybird · 12/05/2011 18:10

If it is any comfort to your mum you, he is at more risk from traffic than imaginary paedos on every corner.

There is a big spike in road traffic accidents amongst 12 year olds: there is an argument that children are at greater risk from traffic once they have been "let loose" to secondary schools (and travelling longer distances) because they were never given the opportunity to develop road sense in a "controlled" way at primary school.

bonkers20 · 12/05/2011 22:39

prettybird I thought the spike was because they've started secondary and are out when it's dark and 1/2 the time they're away with the fairies talking to their pals about what sweets to buy at the shop, how to wear their school tie and who's going out with who?!
You're right though, they're more likely to be in an accident in the early secondary years.

prettybird · 12/05/2011 22:52

Bonkers - it will a combination of a lot of things - but if they have never had the chance to judge traffic for themselves, then they will be all the the more vulnerable when they are out after dark and with friends.

(BTW: up here in Scotland, if ds does an after-school club, in winter it is already dark when he leaves school, so even at primary school he has experienced that)

startail · 12/05/2011 23:13

I', not sure if our school will let anyone below Y6 out without a parent, bits of the road to school have no pavement and the main road in the village is busy.
However, sometimes they are mad, one child lives down the path from school, 1 min max to her front door, still Mum has to come and meet her. (Most people have further to walk to their cars).

bonkers20 · 13/05/2011 11:06

prettybird You're right.

BimboNo5 · 13/05/2011 11:22

10 is fine I think but I certainly think 7 or 8 is far too young! I'd not be at all happy to send my child on their own at that age

Eglu · 13/05/2011 13:48

Bimbo it really depends on where you live. My 7yo walks home himself but we live in a small village. If we lived in the middle of a city I wouldn't let him.

MoreBeta · 13/05/2011 14:17

I would never criticise anyone over this because only you now your own child.

In our case DS1 is the kind of boy who will walk straight across a road without looking because he happens to be in the middle of a complicated thought about something.

He is 11 and going to secondary school in September. It is just about walkable but we would not trust him to watch what he is doing. There is no school bus either so we will send him in a taxi - door to door.

PatriciaHolm · 13/05/2011 15:04

Glad he was fine!

Our school won't let them out at the end of school on their own until year 5. Anyone walking in the front would have to cross at least one reasonably busy road, though we don't as we come in another gate.

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