to charity shop two of DH's jumpers without his knowledge?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

1- he's a born nomad and possessions mean very little to him. He forgets what he owns a lot of the time, spends a lot of time in his home country where he leaves clothing for months at a time, and comes home with random items that aren't his. (Quite normal there)

2- I acquired a new chest of drawers and his clothes don't fit. The drawers fall off their moorings if they are stuffed too full.

3- He's not here to decide what to get rid of (and he needs to, he has a load of crap in there he never wears)

4- he has several lovely jumpers, one of which he even bought himself and two absolutely vile creations that I know he never bought. One is an 80s style sweatshirt in vile orange and the other is a grandad style grey sweater thing.

5- he would have absolutely no idea that I had got rid of them as they will have made no impression on his consciousness. Seriously, he lost his wedding ring by putting it in the pocket of the trousers he happened to be wearing at the time which are now fuck knows where.

So. AIBU? In normals circs I'd be absolutely U but in these particular ones?

YADNBU - get rid of the yucky stuff

Good answer!

Yes YANBU, get shot.

However don't tell DH, ever, even if you are slightly drunk and think he won't mind or notice.

DH still counts his foulwhite t-shirts....just in case.

If you start to feel guilty an alternate plan is to start wearing them-around the house only of course. This means that:

a)they now belong to you and you can make sartorial decisions regarding them

b)you put 'booby spaces' in them so they look wrong on him.

Unfortunately post-DC I don't fit in DH's clothes any more, but many of his absolutely foul more interesting clothes have been disposed of this way.

YANBU. But please don't inflict the vile garments on a charity shop. Cut them up for dusters or burn them on the fire.
I feel your pain as DP used to own a horrible navy blue Val-Doonigan-style old-man sweatshirt from M&S, with a fetching fair isle pattern on the front. I haven't seen it for a while, so I'm hoping it got lost during a recent house move.

I like Firky's plan of making booby spaces in them! Unfortunately I think I'd be a bit sick if I put them on and caught sight of myslef in a mitrror. They are that gross. It would do irreparable damage to my self esteem.

Maybe I could donate them to the neighbours for their chicken coop? The chickens might fine them cosy or something?

chop the feckers up and use them to polish your china/candles/life size george clooney wax works (is that just me that has those?!)

Sounds like my DH and yes, I have done it.
Items that went included underpants that were ten years old, shorts that were so short and tight they were indecent and a blue blazer that he found in a charity shop that was obviously donated by an ex Odeon employee.
Several members of his family thanked me.

If you do this without his consent/knowledge, you are in effect taking the "worldly goods with thee I share" bit of the marital vows to the logical conclusion.

It does of course mean, in an equal partnership, that you have (by vow and by precedent) given him the right to chuck out items of your stuff, without your knowledge/consent, according solely to his own reasoning - and he may loathe things of yours that you're quite attached to (but he won't "see" the attachment).

So I don't think it's the right thing to do. Even for an orange monstrosity.

If you really think he doesn't care about this item, tell him you're doing it.

I have a "one in, one out" policy with clothes. This applies to me as well, so it's fair.

So - if husband buys a new t-shirt he has to throw out one of the old ones to make space.
Seems to work.

If he's not around to ask, just put them in one of the bags that come through the door and get rid.