Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Should I mention the seatbelt or keep my nose out

19 replies

Doogle2 · 11/05/2011 12:49

My 4 yo DS has a best friend at pre-school. I have seen this boy three times now in the back of his mums car without a seat-belt on. He stood up to wave at us the last time.

Now I know we all have different ways of parenting but this is one issue I feel strongly about. I don't know whether to mention it to her is a very light way just in case she doesn't know (although I suspect she does) or should I keep my nose out? Thanks!

OP posts:

dixiechick1975 · 11/05/2011 12:54

What DD's pre school did was invite the community policeman in - kids sat in policecar etc. Then a note came home saying what a great day they'd had and attached a flyer from the police about car seat safety.

You see quite a lot of kids in our area with no safety seats and I think this was their diplomatic way of trying to address it without singling out individuals.

LordOfTheFlies · 11/05/2011 12:59

Difficult but the law is the law.I can't beleive anyone with a 4yo wouldn't know about car seat law/safety. It might be her child is a little Houdini but that is something she would need to sort (though I looked for buckle protectors when DS was a little escape artist and was told they are dangerous in an accident). Weighing it up I would risk a verbal smack in the mouth for the sake of a childs safety.

ThatVikRinA22 · 11/05/2011 13:04

good idea there from dixiechick. part of a PCSOs role is to go into schools and do talks etc...why not mention it to the head of the school or the pre school class teacher? then you bring their attention to it without anyone knowing you are the source.

Melly19MummyToBe · 11/05/2011 14:08

It does annoy me when you see cars with children in not wearing seatbelts. Me and DP were going shopping once and we were behind this car where this little girl was running across the back seats, and her dad (assuming it was her dad anyway) kept turning around in his seat whilst DRIVING and faffing around with something, trying to control her maybe? Anyway, quite a few times he nearly mounted the kerbs and he didn't stop at a crossing when the lights were on red and almost hit a mum with a buggy and a small child because he wasn't looking! The girl in this car was easily small enough to still need a proper carseat, and there were plenty of places he could have pulled over to strap her in. It's times like those you wish you were police.

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 11/05/2011 14:14

Get the school to get in the PCSO. But I would also say in passing something like 'Chidlren can be little buggers escape artists, can't they? I saw your son had got out of his seatbest the other day, must have been a nightmare to have to stop and strap him back in'. Some people just need shaming into realising that other people notice their behaviour.

onagar · 11/05/2011 14:26

In older vehicles that have no seatbelts fitted children from 3 to 12 can travel in the rear seat.

If you are travelling in the rear of a taxi and you don't have a car seat with you, your baby or toddler can travel without a seatbelt.

For a short distance "in an unexpected necessity". This exception is designed to cover emergencies where you might have to collect your child, or someone else's, at short notice and don't have the right car seat with you.

So not actually a law then? more a guideline?

Not saying it's wise to ignore seat belts, but need to be careful if telling someone 'the laws the law' when it might not be.

LordOfTheFlies · 11/05/2011 14:44

The law changed Sept 2006 mainly about car seats but the child would still have to wear a seat belt. I know a few cars don't TBF but they are few and far between. And it states its a law not a guide ( enforceable fine). I would still risk getting my head kicked in by telling them ( nicely)

MotherPanda · 11/05/2011 14:51

The laws changed again last year - check it up on direct gov. all children under 12 have to have some sort of car seat/booster etc now. even in a taxi.

It's never ok for a baby or toddler to travel without a seat - don't wait for a crash to find that out.

SarahStratton · 11/05/2011 14:54

It's not a guideline, it's a legal requirement. Being caught not wearing a seatbelt (unless you are exempt) carries a Fixed Penalty Notice of £30, but you can be fined up to £500 in court.

I'd go down the headteacher/PCSO route.

SarahStratton · 11/05/2011 14:55

AFAIK it is illegal to carry a child under 3 in a car with no rear seatbelts.

MotherOfSuburbia · 11/05/2011 16:06

I have been having a similar problem. I look after a friend's son once a week and when I put him in the car he always tells me that "Mummy doesn't bother putting a seatbelt on me". His older sister once said it too. When I have given my friend lifts she also doesn't automatically put her belt on and only remembers because my car beeps at you if you don't. I haven't plucked up courage to say anything yet as I'm certainly no model parent, but it does bother me.

AuntieBranflake · 11/05/2011 21:19

We have an old classic car that doesn't have belts in the back and it is not a legal requirement for us to add them or use them for anyone travelling in the back. Our DCs are denied the chance to travel in it as we don't like the risk, but we could if we wanted to.

For what it's worth though, in her car, with it's belts and seats it would be enforced - so OP could use the "I don't want you to get into trouble" angle, rather than risk of appearing a busy-body!

Original poster

Doogle2 · 12/05/2011 08:45

Thanks for the advice. I think i will mention it to her in a light conversation in the hope that it brings it back into her mind and maybe she will do something about it. I might also have a chat with the pre-school about seat belts as that sounds a fab idea for all the children. Thanks.

OP posts:

purplepidjin · 12/05/2011 09:02

Ditto with AuntieBranflake, although mine is only "missing" a middle lapbelt (and I don't have dc's of my own. Do take friends' kids out in it though)

Luckily, I've not had one misbehave in my car. If I did, they would either be moved to a seat with a belt - ie the front right next to me (if the parent wasn't there) or next to the parent/another adult!!

TBH the chances of me driving more than a couple of miles with other peoples' kids in the car are minimal. I'm running drum brakes, the materials used to make the car and the technology are all forty-odd years old. It's fun because it's old, but it's not all that comfortable ( at AuntieB]

WidowWadman · 12/05/2011 09:10

www.neenaw.co.uk/index.php/ambulances/237/what-did-you-do-this-weekend/

Really don't get why anyone would risk this.

AuntieBranflake · 12/05/2011 12:19

Oh lord purple, totally with you on the 'fun because old' but 'not all that comfortable'. The original seats in ours have no padding (to speak of) and therefore you are sitting basically on two thin but sturdy pieces of wire. Fortunately they are horizontal....

valiumredhead · 12/05/2011 12:29

Just make sure your own child is safely belted in and mind your own bee's wax

If she ever has to give YOUR child a lift, then is the time to bring it up imo.

purplepidjin · 12/05/2011 13:22

Hee hee auntie. Mine is my daily so does about 5 miles a week.

Last week it got picked up from the specialist in essex (I'm in hants) then went to santa pod and back for the weekend. My bum hasn't forgiven me yet!

LordOfTheFlies · 12/05/2011 22:26

OOOOOH I'm a bit at those who say ' keep schtum'.If the worse happened and the child was injured/killed wouldn't you kick yourself for not saying anything? Is it more difficult because she's a friend?
Everyone is wise after the event ( I'm not comparing this with child abuse but it is a form of neglect of parental duty) >I personally just don't think a childs safety is something to keep quiet about.My children are THE most precious things (&DH!) and I've had personal experience of an RTA when DS was 2, locking in part of his car seat snapped in impact,saved his life.I can't even think what would happen if he'd been dancing about free range
'

Flip