to ask for help

[Nixea]

The thing is, I really want to go to my GP and ask for some kind of anger management help but I'm scared if I do then it might escalate and I'll end up with SS involved. I know that sounds drastic but I have no experience in these things at all and do over-think things.

Basically, I just end up losing my temper over tiny things all the time. I should stress that I've never hit my DD or done any physical harm but I'm terrified of the emotional harm I might be doing. I just end up losing it and really shouting at her for silly little things, then feeling so guilty afterwards and spending 10 minutes hugging her saying sorry. I'm not explaining this well I know but I'm a bit muddled tbh.

So AIBU in thinking that if I tell anyone about this I could end up losing my daughter? I know that sounds over-dramatic and I really dont mean it to be I really don't know if I'd be labelled as a bad mum for asking for help...

try child lines website, they might have a phoneline u can ring with help on how to keep calm. i woouldnt go to the docs as it could be used against you.

we all feel like that sometimes

You're more likely to be labelled a good mother, because you're reaching out and asking for help. You sound stressed up to the eyeballs and a good chat with your GP would be a good starting point. Do you ever get a break from her?

Knitted breast - you are so wrong in that statement! Social Services don't swoop in and remove children because their mother shouts! They work with families to keep them together. Going to the docs will NOT be used against her.

Go and get that help, you won't regret it.

TheVisitor - thank you, both for the support and the advice. I was really hoping I was over-reacting and just being paranoid. You're right, I'll make the appointment.

Thank you again.

Sounds like you're stressed out. Is there anything else going on that is casuing you stress? You don't have to answer that on here, but to get to the bottom of what is going on you may have to be very honest with yourself and then take action to deal with whatever it is.
Often when we are struggling to cope with our children and being short tempered it is because there is other stuff going on.
The other thing to think about it why your daughter's behaviour causes an over-reaction in you. Is it triggering any difficult memories or lighting an emotional touch paper? Are there things from the past that need to be addressed? Again no need to answer on here.
I'm wondering if some general counselling might help, in addition to anger management. If there is a Women's Centre in your area they might be able to offer confidential counselling, or maybe your local Surestart children's centre might be able to offer some support.
Well done though for taking some steps to look at it, and do try not to blame yourself too much - this happens to all of us sometimes.

If you want to go to your doctor then go. Social Services are not interested in mums who shout at their children. Well done for admitting you have an issue and I am sure that your GP will be able to guide you to the best place for help.
As TheVisitor states I think you are more likely to be looked upon as a good mother as you are trying to improve your situation.
I hope you get the help you need and come back on here if you need support.

I feel really angry sometimes for no good reason. DS is 14 months, and I had been SAHM for a year. It can be so frustrating having an active baby who is, for example, throwing food and emptying drawers all the time. I have to stop myself and remind myself that it's normal, I can't do anything about it and it doesn't really matter. Things got much better when I went back to work 1 day a week, and better now I'm back 2. It makes home and DS more of a novelty and less of a drudgery. I still should probably get some help, I can still be pretty unpleasant to DH.

Good for you. I wish more people would recognise their anger management problems and seek help. I have a friend who considers herself assertive, but she's not, she's downright aggressive and I have found her intimidating in the past.