to ask how you feel it affects your young DC with both parents working FT?

[LittlePickleHead]

DD is 2.5. For her first year I was off, then I returned part time (3 days a week, one of which was at weekend, so 2 days in nursery).

I felt this was a really good balance as DD loves nursery and still got plenty of time with me. Hard part was only one day a week all three of us, but generally it worked quite well and DD seemed very happy, confident and secure.

For financial reasons I've had to take a full time job, which I've just started. I feel awful about it and like I am traumatising DD and making her feel abandoned : (

She has become more clingy, wakes up really early, and cried when we took her to nursery today (very unusual). I feel I never see her as DP gets home before me so does routine, I just manage to get in to read stories before bed.

Does it get easier? I'm scared of losing my bond with DD. I'm also finding it hard that at the weekend she is coming out with loads of new phrases and songs and I had no idea she even knew them.

Anyone who worked full time from when there DC were young with positive stories to tell?

Its no different to a single parent working to be honest, my first was 1 and my my second was 5 weeks old when I left them. The youngest going to full time nursery at 2.5. They get used to it, it's good that they become independant of you at an early age.

I found it very hard tbh, to the point where I gave up my job to be with them (no great hardship as I hated it anyway). My three year old was sobbing every morning that that he wanted me to be with him and take him to nursery and back, and that he didn't want to go to the childminders. My one year old didn't know any different and wasn't that fussed, but ds1 was very upset at being parted every single day. You'll get through it eventually, but it is hard.

I grew up with both my parents working FT. I loved nursery and can't remember ever feeling abandoned.

I had a great relationship with both my parents growing up and still have to this day (I'm 27).

Just to say my dcs have both gone through clingy phases and not wanting to go to nursery. Your DD has to make an adjustment and that will take some time. But please don't worry about your bond - it is wonderful that your dd is learning new things at nursery and making friends without you (part of the great socialisation that nursery offers). She is still your little girl, and you are her mummy - nothing changes that.

I have worked full time and have 4 dds. Remember she doesn't know any different ... just because you feel guilty at working she doesn't know what she could be missing out on. Also you are her mummy and she will always think you are fab (well expect when she's a teenager)... and think of all the things you provide her by working (ie having more money)

and also my children love/have loved nursery

MY DS went through a very long phase of being upset going to nursery. He always settled down quickly and enjoyed playing with the other children.

We all support our kids in the best way we can. I would love to be at home but that wouldn't pay the bills. Hopefully you will all settle into your new routine.

Plan nice things for the weekend and enjoy the time together.
Don't be so hard on yourself.

We both work f/t and I go through periods of angst about it but generally DD loves nursery and doesn't seem bothered about it at all. Both my parents worked f/t and also went abroad for work a lot and I don't remember ever feeling abandoned TBH. I think we put a lot more guilt on ourselves than the kids would ever put on us. I also think women are more likely to beat ourselves up about it than men. I don't think I've ever heard a man talk about how guilty he feels about working f/t whereas I hear it from my female friends all the time.