to not want my religious family to pray for me.

[rubbersole]

or do any other nonsense.
I'm struggling with something at the minute (IVF). My (Irish Catholic) family keep offering to pray and my sister offered me some Holy water to take home with me. I know they're trying to help but I don't want them to do it. I wouldn't take the water and my sister was offended. The reason i don't just take it and say thanks is because if this all works out somehow I DO NOT want to hear "Ah that's because you used the water/ we prayed". It'll be because Me and my OH have gone through hell and struggled and worked and doctors will have made it happen. I have said I don't mind what they do and I thank them for their kind thoughts but I don't want to know about the holy stuff. AIBU

Actually what I said looks awful.

We waited six years for DD2 to decide to put in an appearance (was turned down for any hospital help) so I know what 'The Wait' is like, it can be crushing.

Doh! Meant a sort of half believer now!

Agent - not at all. I was trying to be funny. Weebabyjesus help me if I was sensitive at this stage of the game.
Maryz thank you - Mammy's saving for Lourdes already. Think she's quite excited to finally have a 'cause'

I think I understand what you mean OP, even though I am a christian and believe (big time) in the power of prayer. There's a world of difference between God and religion imo and people often use religion to hide from life - a bit like an alcoholic uses the booze. I hate it when people push stuff like that on me when I'm going through a difficult time - it seems brash, insincere, aggressive, superstitious. YANBU imo

When my DS was diagnosed with cancer I accepted every bit of help on offer. Neither I or DP are particularly religious but I know that friends and relatives of various denominations had prayers said for him. We even had a visit from the local vicar whilst we were on the children's ward and he was fab. Reverend Bob, I still think you are fab.

I know that they meant the very best and it really gave us great comfort. But they didn't only help us with prayers, they helped us in all sorts of ways.

But whether you believe in God or not, how can it upset you if someone who does is praying on behalf of you and your DC and wants your dreams to be realised?

The thing I found with ivf is that it's so draining you no longer have the emotional energy left to translate the words (eg i'll pray for you) into the baseline message (we love you and are sad for you) - so YANBU.

But, unless you've been there it's hard to understand why you are so irritated when are just trying to be nice. So you're on a hiding to nothing.

Have you been for counselling? I found it amazingly beneficial to deal with all the shit.

BTW - I am also curious about what they are actually praying for - as catholic faith is very much anti-ivf.

I am also quite confused about what they're praying for... Surely if God was going to help, you would have fallen pregnant without any human intervention...

But hey, that's religion. 999 people die on an earthquake... but 1 survives, and he/she is a miracle! (the other 999 were just godless losers)

smile nod say well thanks a lot, then say you are going to call the baby jesus after this miracle of modern science. there is no harm in it, they love you and thats why they do it, they have no control over it so they only way their minds can see to help is to throw it up to the higher power they believe in. its not malicious or attempting to be hurtful, they just want to help the only way they can see to.
my whole family is catholic, my gran use to throw holy water on me when i went to bed.