Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to ask my XP to pay for after school care on the day he has his DS?

13 replies

samantha001 · 10/05/2011 20:30

My xp has our ds for two nights a week, on night one he is unable to collect from school when it finishes (a common problem for all parents who work) on night two he can leave work early & collects when school finishes. The school has good afterschool facilities which I use when I am working after school hours. Despite our legal contract confirming our agreement to the overnight stays, because it does not define the pick up time he thinks he can make up different rules & pick up times for each night to suit him & that I should pay for this. If you have had the same experience & can offer any constructive advice I would really appreciate it

OP posts:

Hardhatonamission · 10/05/2011 20:31

Does your ex pay maintenence? If yes YABU if no YANBU.

Hope that helps.

Fontsnob · 10/05/2011 20:33

I agree with Hardhat.

Original poster

samantha001 · 10/05/2011 20:37

maintenance is paid for the 5 days that he is in my care i.e the full amount due has been reduced by 2 days I get 5/7 this is how the CSA calculate it

OP posts:

Didyouever · 10/05/2011 20:38

Does he get a reduction for overnights?
If yes, he should pay.

If no, he should probably still pay. As it's his problem

I take it it's not very amicable?

hanaka88 · 10/05/2011 20:41

If he pays maintenance you have to pay. Also you have to take days off work when he is sick etc etc. But my ex helps pay... Just because.

Original poster

samantha001 · 10/05/2011 20:44

This has been going on ever since ds started school, one month xp pays the afteschool fees, the next he does not but the most upsetting thing is that xp does not inform me & I get phone call from school to say ds has not been collected.

OP posts:

Original poster

samantha001 · 10/05/2011 20:46

xp gets a reduction in maintenance for the two nights he has ds

OP posts:

strandedbear · 10/05/2011 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NurseSunshine · 10/05/2011 20:53

Agree with strandedbear.

AuntiePickleBottom · 10/05/2011 20:54

yanbu, the child is his responsiblitiy on those days, and if he needs to arrange childcare he should pay for it

NinkyNonker · 10/05/2011 20:58

I would have thought that if he gets a reduction in CSA he should pay for the extra care? As he has declared his responsibility to them as being those days in order to pay less money, they remain his responsibility when it costs money as well?

ChristinedePizan · 10/05/2011 21:01

\If you get CSA for 5 days, then he pays any costs for the other two days surely? It's a no-brainer isn't it?

Hardhatonamission · 10/05/2011 21:02

If he gets a reduction, then yes, he is expected to fund care provision on 'his' days so he should pay for daycare if he needs it. If, however, you both need it (which seems to be the case) then just pay the day if it means your DC won't be left high and dry.

Some things aren't worth the fight, and this is one of them.

Flip