to not allow DD to have "screen time" after 5pm?

[cadelaide]

Oh it's all a bloody shambles and we just don't know how to unpick the threads.

You see we have a small house, open plan downstairs with a pc and a TV. We also have a Wii. What this means is that our 3 DCs have the option of pc (they do "young" games or youtube or iplayer), Wii or tv. Usually they rub along without much fighting, but on Sunday we brought in a new house rule, no screens after 5pm. Each day a different child gets first choice over what he/she would like to do, the others work around it until 5pm when it all goes off.

We brought this in because our lazy parenting has resulted in them spending faaaar too long stuck in front of screens with their tongues hanging out. We're particularly concerned about DC3 who is only 4, the others are 10 and 11.

Today a problem has emerged. DD does after-school clubs on 3 days of the week and so she has barely any time on the screens when she gets home. She has been screaming in my ear that this is unfair because she would never have chosen to do the clubs if she'd known she'd get less time on the pc/whatever.

it's difficult. It has to be a universal rule not geared to each child individually as that would be impossible to implement. We don't have screens in the bedrooms as I don't want to go down that route.

So, is a blanket ban on screens after 5pm unreasonable, regardless of what other activities they might be involved in?

God, it's all so boring. If you've got this far, thanks for sticking with it

I don't allow computer/ds/wii after tea, occasionally I'll let them watch disney xd, but more often than not it's adult tv after tea and if they want to watch the news with me then that's fine.

I think it's really sad when children prefer to play on the pc etc than do clubs, but I don't know what you can do about it. Do any of the other children do after school clubs?

No, DS1 isn't keen and DS2 is too young.

I don't think she'd really give up the clubs to sit at home on the pc, she just sees it as unfair that she isn't getting as much time as her brothers.

I think it is unfair, just because of the inflxibility of the ban.

I'd go for each one having an allotted time on whatever it is, which they could choose to spend together or on their own, but that'd probably throw up its own set of problems.

Just go for the lazy parenting option, it's much easier

Why don't you let your dd have an extra half an hour on the days she does afterschool clubs. I think the others would find that fair.

Or not start the allotted family screen time until the stroppy moddom arrives home?

As a stroppy moddom myself this would appease me :o

I think it would be fair to adjust your rule a bit to allow for DD's clubs, maybe give her a bit of time after your youngest's bedtime, or at the weekend.

OK, so I'm being a bit harsh on her maybe.

Thank you all so much for bothering to read through.

I think LittleMissFlustered's idea might work.

I do it the other way round. Screens only AFTER dinner, specifically to encourage after school stuff.
Depends on your house though, that might inhibit adult usage.

What about making them work for their screen time?

Good to use as threats to take away for bad behaviour as well

I've just put it to them, they all nodded in agreement.

Mind you, they are all stuck in front of The Simpsons and not really listening to me. I've bent the rules for The Simpsons you see.

Bent the rules? this just isn't going to work, any of it, is it?

Problem with screens after food is that we often eat quite late, then they'd be hanging around downstairs forever.

Why do we buy them this stuff in the first place?

We moan about them playing on it all of the time when it's us that brought it into the house.

'No' is the short answer.

But is it a problem if you're monitoring what they watch, and ensuring that the time they spend goggle-eyed doesn't encroach on other activities they should be doing?