AIBU (or silly) to take my 9w baby to a friends house party

[KnockedUpMell]

My DS is starting to have a predictable night time routine, and his longest stretch of sleep starts at around 7-8pm, and typically lasts around 5 hours. Would it be really silly for us to take the baby out in the evening for a house party? As it is, it takes about 30 mins of patting him to sleep before he will start that 5 hour stretch and I don't see how we will be able to achieve that at a friends house. I am worried it will be too noisy to hear him cry if we did settle him in the spare room. And would it be unfair on the baby to take him out at bedtime and would it make him tired and cranky?

The party is about 30-40 mins away from home and I don't feel comfortable leaving him with my mum yet as it will be the first time leaving him alone, and I would rather be close by for the first time, so I feel our options are either to take him, or for DH to go alone.

It's also very normal behaviour for babies to settle, if they are in a routine of self settling from the start. Ours went down in their cribs quite relaxed and content and didn't need someone hovering. And certainly by 9 months many parents are regularly leaving their children and at work, so it's silly to say as a blanket thing that the child will be upset if you leave him. I know children aren't all the same, and perhaps we were fortunate that our ds's were very secure and amenable about bed times etc, but I certainly think the range of 'normal' covers babies who can be left with a babysitter. Sometimes on mn it feels a little like mums and dads are judged as a bit weird if they are comfortable with leaving their babies. My boys are my world, and dh's , but that doesn't mean we cant ever leave them with anyone else

I think it depends on what the party will be like and if your friends mind you bringing him. If the party is going to be a wild affair then its probably not the best thing to do but if its just a few frends having drinks and a chat then I don't see the problem.

I took my 2 week old DD to my PIL 20th wedding anniversary party and she was fine and slept all the way through it. I was really nervous about going but in the end it gave us real confidence that we could go out and about with DD. Take your monitor if you're worried about hearing him and if it doesn't work out then you can make your excuses and go home early.

Personally if I was doing this I would make sure either me or DH didn't drink at the party though so that at last one of us was really on the ball in case anything happened.

I also think that if the party will be a bit more wild then it would also be OK to leave DS with GP. You are close enough to get home if you need to and it is sometimes good to have time as a couple.

It wasn't a blanket thing, it was me saying my daughter would be! She has never been a baby that grizzles to release tension, she just winds herself up. As you say yourself, normal covers a range which includes DD...meaning we wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving her to self settle at 9 wks old. So some will, some won't. The OP asked for opinions, that was mine, which naturally is based on my experiences. Others will give theirs based on their experiences.

I wasn't udging anyone, just giving my experiences which is allowed I think, if anything I seem to be getting more incredulous responses than anyone else! We're certainly not unusual amongst our friends by any means.

The op said her baby has a good routine (well apart from the half an hour patting of sleep) and will go down at 7 ish and sleep for a good stretch. Its therefore highly likely that he wont even know he has a babysitter. In regards to the ops baby, which after all is the one shes asking advice on, I think it would be madness to drag the child along to an unfamiliar house where he may not settle at all. None of them will enjoy it!

DD was a pretty reliable sleeper but still would wake on occassion, it is those occassions I would have worried about. (Equally I wouldn't worry about 30 mins of patting at that age either, still a 'good' routine.)

I would take the baby, in a sling. DD would then have slept the whole time, no matter how much noise or chat. I ust think 30-40 mins is a long way away were anything to happen.

I didn't realise opinions weren't wanted though (after all, that is what we are all giving, based on our experiences), and it appears we are in the minority here. I'm not sure why my posts have been jumped on to be honest, I've re-read them and they're not contraversial, unusual or judgemental!

Dd has been to loads of parties bless her, I hope we're not breeding a little party animal! Well, she'd be a pretty useless one I guess as she slept through them all!

I am so at all your wonderful babies.

Mine screamed the second anyone tried to lay her down and she didn't sleep for a 5 hour stretch until she was 5.5. And that is years btw.

Truly, only you know your baby and what they will be ok with or not. If you have parents who would babysit it would seem to be a nice idea to go to the party for a couple of hours and then aim to be home before you know they'll wake up.

good luck.