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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my dad?

19 replies

lilbod · 09/05/2011 19:29

DH and I have just bought a new house, 4 beds but one room is going to be used for DS's therapy so hence full of therapy equipment, one room for me and DH, one bedroom for DS and a box room for the computer.
We haven't yet moved in and took my dad to see it yesterday, conversation went like:
DDad: So how many bedrooms?
Me: 4
Ddad: oh so my brother can come and stay?
Me: well we haven't moved in yet and I'll have to discuss with DH
Ddad: yes but when you get in my brother can stay with his girlfriend, save him the cost of a hotel room!

Now My DU(uncle) is lovely, but has lived miles away all throught my child hood so have only seen him a handful of times in my life, I have not met his girlfriend, I have nothing against her but I really don't want a stranger (or 2 really) staying in my house, Plus DS is a really awful sleeper and is usually up several times in the night crying.
AIBU to say no to my dads request?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/05/2011 19:31

How odd.. why would you want an uncle who you barely know to use your house as a hotel Confused

Why cant the man stay at your dads?

chicletteeth · 09/05/2011 19:32

Your dad is being a cheeky bastard!

JaneFonda · 09/05/2011 19:32

YANBU - it's your house, it's not up to your dad to offer it out to other people (even if they are family).

You're an adult - stand your ground.

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy · 09/05/2011 19:32

YANBU

280169 · 09/05/2011 19:32

have you explained how you plan to use the rooms, he is probably just thinking if you have empty bedrooms he could perhaps see his brother more often and save him the cost of a hotel

supadupacreameggscupa · 09/05/2011 19:32

you're gonna have to be strong and stick to your 'no' guns. explain you got 4 bedrooms because you need THEM ALL

SarahStratton · 09/05/2011 19:33

Not in my book you aren't. I've got a 5 bed house (not quite as grand as that sounds btw, it seems to be falling down around my ears), and all of a sudden I have turned into a potential Long Lost Relly B&B.

Potential being the key word. Because I don't want a house full of virtual strangers who happen to be distantly related.

Just tell your Dad it would upset DS's routine or something.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 09/05/2011 19:34

YABU. It sounds like a fun idea to me. Your uncle is lovely and you will get to know his girlfriend. If they don't like to be woken in the night by crying ds they can pay for a hotel room!

Birdsgottafly · 09/05/2011 19:35

Why couldn't you just explain what you need to use the rooms for?

Does your dad realise the extent of the care that your DS needs?

It's your home so you can organise it how you want to (and need to).

Original poster
lilbod · 09/05/2011 19:45

blimy that was quick, DU and girlfriend can't stay at my dads as he and my mum live seperate lives and have a 3 bed 1 box room and 2 bedrooms, barely speak to each other, long story, but basically hostile territory!

Dad knows how dependant DS is he has CP (birth injury) and is very unsure around strange people. He knows what the 'spare' room is for.
DH and I have had to fight for this house, had lots of stress pulled out of anither house to get this one. All very complicated and long winded!

My dad is someone you can not say No to but on this one I'm standing my ground!
thanks for the replies Grin

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 09/05/2011 19:50

You are an adult you can say No to who you want to. Your DS's needs come first, end of.

northerngirl41 · 09/05/2011 19:56

When we moved into a large house we had all the jokes about running a B&B, hosting massive family dinners, and everyone and their dog coming to stay...

The reality is that although we're really well set up, people do prefer having their own space and very rarely take you up on the offer. Those that do tend to be very close family/friends anyway. I suspect your uncle will be diplomatic and refuse, especially once he realises you aren't really set up for guests.

280169 · 09/05/2011 20:02

therefore yes your son coes first,and dad will have to lump it

Original poster
lilbod · 09/05/2011 20:09

Thing is it's not even a massive house!
DU is really nice and I'm thinking he would refuse anyway, but my dad would bend over backwards and up his own arse to please anyone (except his own family) He gas done really horrible things to me my mum and brother in the past, somethings are only just coming to light but thats a different story!

I don't even think he wants to please his brother, it's mare his girlfriend he want to impress Hmm

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 09/05/2011 20:09

Just say - "We don't have a spare bed, all our rooms are used with no space for a bed"

Or just "no, that doesn't work for our family."

FoxyRevenger · 09/05/2011 20:10

Can you just say "actually, Dad, there won't be a spare room as we are using them all for reasons A, B and C"?

He didn't actually request that they stay, with dates and all, did he? It was more of a general, at-some-pint-in-the-future type comment to my mind.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 09/05/2011 20:16

Or just "no, that doesn't work for our family."

Excellent answer to your Father. Giving specific reasons will only lead to him arguing about it.

I hope you are very happy in your new home.

Original poster
lilbod · 09/05/2011 20:17

yes a general when they come up here in the future they can stay with you!
my arse they can!!
DS does come first, and have just told DH and he has said No chance!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lilbod · 09/05/2011 20:19

Thank you all for your great replies

@cuttingpicassostoenails (great name) chears Wine

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