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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel that Gransnet is belittling and unnecessary or empowering?

44 replies

Driftwood999 · 09/05/2011 17:13

Maybe because of the spite misunderstandings between DIL/MIL revealed in many posts, Mumsnet thought it wise to have a separate forum? Grandparents should know their place? Or a government backed plot to dissseminate wisdom? It could be the first port of call, so to speak, for those seeking advice, in which case Mumsnet will sink further into, well what?

OP posts:
MerylStrop · 09/05/2011 17:17

don't really see the point myself, as all grans are, by dint of their job description, also mothers.

and as you can easily be a grandmother by the age of 32 or even younger, it's not an silver surfer thing....

lubberlich · 09/05/2011 17:18

I showed Gransnet to my Mum and she thought it was a load of patronising bollocks. She also has much better things to do than fart around on the interweb all day. Envy

Numberfour · 09/05/2011 17:19

Grin @ interweb

florencedougal · 09/05/2011 17:21

load of patronising bollocks

yes, that sounds familiar Grin

piratecat · 09/05/2011 17:24

the name grates i think nansnet sounds better. gran sounds grannyish. there is a knitting section. my mother would laugh. she is not that way inclined, nor does she cook anything of note!!

valiumredhead · 09/05/2011 17:24

The ad I saw yesterday said 'old granny' - grannies aren't always old!

I have just tried to look for the ad but of course can't find it now!

usualsuspect · 09/05/2011 17:25

I'm a grandma and found it quite patronising and a lot of the posters have quite old fashioned views over there

I found it quite insulting to think that people would see all grandparents like that iyswim

On the other hand maybe some people would like a gentler forum

I will stay on here Grin

colditz · 09/05/2011 17:26

I thought that it was because grandmothers got sick of hearing about how fat and old we all are, and whittering about how this should be pureed and that should be whole, and this should be sterilised, and that should be thrown away...

We must seem a whiny lot to someone who's done it all before,.

cabbageroses · 09/05/2011 17:50

well i think it's fine for those who want it.
MN is not without its critics either you know!

don't forget that the aim of any forum is to make the owners rich- it's a business.

2rebecca · 09/05/2011 17:56

Mumsnet is aimed at mums with dependent children though. OK grandparents are still mums, but I do think that unmarried women and grandparents who come on here probably need to get a life. I wouldn't feel the need to spend time on a forum for a forum for cyclists if I didn't cycle, and doubt I will bother with mumsnet when the kids are independent.
I don't bother with all the breastfeeding/ toddler sections of mumsnet as my kids are teenagers.

2rebecca · 09/05/2011 17:58

Should have said women without children rather than unmarried women.
Some women post on here who obviously have never had kids and I just think why???
Would never have occurred to me to go on a parenting website before having kids.

JamieAgain · 09/05/2011 18:00

2 rebecca - bit lots of grandparents take an extremely active role in caring for their grandchildren it is a big part of their life.

JamieAgain · 09/05/2011 18:01

but - not bit

And sorry - I think I might have misunderstood - are you saying that's a reason for them to post on Gransnet and not MN?

crazynanna · 09/05/2011 18:02

I have a leg in both camps...being a grandparent and a parent to a school-age child (who SHOULD have been the 'change')

PaisleyLeaf · 09/05/2011 18:08

Who's it aimed at? The logo etc all looks a bit too 'old'. Surely grans now come from an era of Bob Dylan and Andy Warhol, maybe even punk - not wartime.

goodegg · 09/05/2011 18:09

2rebecca

I'm newly pregnant and have been lurking and posting on MN for nearly 2 years. If you hadn't noticed, there's plenty to chat about that's to do with human life on here, not just having kids! I've found it a fab education for having kids, but I don't think it's weird at all that many people post here without having any.

There aren't that many intelligent fora on t'interweb for women.

PenguinArmy · 09/05/2011 18:10

I thought it was very patronising. Some of the 'helpful' articles need to be rewritten IMO

Punkatheart · 09/05/2011 18:10

Maybe coming to Mumsnet without a child is like going to a party without a bottle of wine - perfectly fine and optional....

goodegg · 09/05/2011 18:16

Punk Sad

cabbageroses · 09/05/2011 18:18

To be fair, although the average age of the Uk granny is 54, some grans are 70s and 80s.

I think they may well feel more at home posting on a forum just for them- and an older age group.

Forum users vary so much and some people do have a very ageist approach to life anyway. I despair- as an older MN- when I see posts on S&B for example, saying "Help, what can I wear now I am 30".

I would assume that gransnet would be the natural home of grans say 65+ not 40 yr old grans.

It would not attract me, even as a mid 50 yr old ( and not a gran- please DS and DD- not yet!) but then i consider myself quite young at heart.

Salmotrutta · 09/05/2011 18:27

I feel a bit offended at what 2rebecca posted.

Like someone said above, as grandparents we take an active role in our grandsons' lives so it's useful to note how things have changed. I've read a lot of useful stuff on here!

I've had a quick scan of gransnet but I'm not sure if it's for me.

fatlazymummy · 09/05/2011 18:41

Well I'm not actually a Nan, but I am in that age group. I did have a little flick through Gransnet, not really to my taste TBH but I guess it's there for those who are interested. There again I don't live on Mumsnet either, it's just another forum to me so I suppose I see it in the same way.

PenguinArmy · 09/05/2011 19:00

My DM was a grandmother at 41 thanks to me Grin (disclaimer she was the teenage mum not me). I don't think I'll be telling her about it

Punkatheart · 09/05/2011 19:24

I like mixing with a variety of ages and I don't have a problem with non mothers here. Men are another matter but even then, I suppose I can put up with them. I was going to direct my mother to Gransnet - she does like knitting and cooking but she is also quite energetic. Not ready for the rocking chair just yet. I suppose it is a difficult balance to get right. But if people feel patronised, that would count as a failure....

Also, why the sad face with the wine comment? I don't think I would have looked for a parenting forum when not even thinking about children. But I might have done when pregnant.

If you don't want to take wine, then chocolates or good company would do and that is the case on this forum. I have 'met' some truly feisty, funny women here. I have had some parenting advice, educational advice but also some interesting ideas about life.

Terraviva · 09/05/2011 19:54

I had a quick look and thought it patronising too. The 'Do's and Don'ts of being a Grandparent' are especially bad!! Not helpful at all and quite insulting, in my opinion (and I'm not even a grandparent...)