to never ask my Dad for a favour again?

[sofaqueenie]

I had a follow up smear test and general check up today after my colposcopy six months ago and asked my Dad to looked after DS (15 months)

I asked him to be at mine for 11am, and he didn't arrive until just after 11:30am, my appointment was at 12pm.

I called him to ask where he was, and he said he was round a friends and got carried away chatting. I feel so pissed off with him. By the time he got round I had to rush and got to the hospital with a few minutes to spare. I felt so flustered and hot, and barley had time to sit and catch my breath when I was called in.

I never, ever ask him for favours. Ever. A lot of my family live in France and my friends work full time so it really only leaves him.

So I get home and he's in a mood because my DS refused to eat the sandwiches I'd made before I left and he'd been in a bit of a grump since I left. He didn't ask how the appointment went or anything, then he leaves.

As it turns out, eveything is not OK and could've done with a chat.

He makes me feel that I should apologise for asking him to look after DS, this is the first time he's ever done it. He's also known about this date for three weeks now.

Gah and meh

Maybe because it was a lady thing he felt embarassed and didn't want to talk about it?

If he's not reliable then no, don't ask him for a favour again. Or build in a 30 minute buffer so that if he's late, it doesn't matter as much.

And, while it's horrible to be rushed, you weren't late and did make the appointment.

Sorry that everything is not OK and hope you have someone in RL you can chat to about it.

Sorry to hear that your dad was unreliable. Keeping a hospital appointment is very important, particularly if there might be something going on. It sounds like you had some bad news, I hope it isn't too scary. Get in touch with a friend, maybe someone can come around for a cuppa and a chat? Or tell us on mn about it.

Maybe I was being a tad unreasonable, it's just he had this whole 'what's the rush' attitude on him when clearly I was worrying about it.

I had CIN3 6 months ago which was removed and I got the all clear. I had my check up and smear today and they said it looks like it's back and has spread further up my cervix. I had a biopsy taken and just need to wait to see what the say.

Bit of a shite day really.

I would be pissed off too - worrying that you're going to be late makes things more stressful. He might have been grumpy because he's worried about you but he doesn't know how to articulate that.

I'm really sorry to hear that the CIN3 has returned; you can have my first non-MNetty hug.

You needed someone to be there - reliable and then to care. You did not either of these things. So sorry that you had a stressful day - I am a veteran of hospitals so I understand entirely.

When BanalChelping has finished crushing you to her bosom, I send another hug. Remember that the biopsy may well show that it has not spread - but again, I fully understand the worry. I have had a few biopsies myself.

So not unreasonable and deserving of a gentle bundling for a group hug.

xx