Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH shouldn't refer to me as SUGARTITS at dinner with my Mum, no matter how funny HE thinks it is.

27 replies

nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 19:36

Haven't pulled him up on this yet for fear of it being a sense of humour failure on my part, but he got 'the look'.
But seriously, it's not on is it.
Not sure if she heard or was politely ignoring.

OP posts:
razzlebathbone · 08/05/2011 19:37

Urgh.

florencedougal · 08/05/2011 19:37

is that you Nessa?

SardineQueen · 08/05/2011 19:38

YANBU

Not at all.

Yuck.

9876543210 · 08/05/2011 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 08/05/2011 19:38

Is that his normal way of talking to/about you? Angry

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 08/05/2011 19:39

Oh God, I just spat out my mouthful of tea.

Really? He said that? That's awful, but really funny as well. (And kudos to your mother for ignoring it / playing along, what a trooper!)

YANBU at ALL!!!

Odysseus · 08/05/2011 19:40

Ugh.

Strumpypumpy · 08/05/2011 19:40

Oh dear. Yanbu. Next time you're with friends shout "oi tiny nob", or something....even if it isn't. If it is perhaps been mean about his clothes or something. He won't be smirking then!

Original poster
nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 19:42

i think he was going for 'so wrong it is a bit funny'

no, he doesn't talk to me badly, he would only ever have meant for it to be funny.

is it gavin and stacey or the IT crowd.

i think he was handing me something, like
'can you pass me the pepper'
'sure, there you go sugartits?'

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 08/05/2011 19:43

Tell him to stop doing it.

If he thinks that it is ok to carry on after you have told him to stop, you could tell him that you will start calling him treacleprick in front of his mother and see how that goes down.

It's about respect.

But really, I don't understand why you didn't just say "please don't call me that." right there and then. Who cares if he bleats that you've got no sense of humour?

It's not a joke.

Patient: I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to get spots in front of my eyes.

Doctor: Have you seen an optician?

Patient: No, just spots.

that's a joke.

It's not a funny joke, but it's a joke.

calling your wife "sugartits" in front of her mother is demeaning her. I fail to see how that's funny.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 08/05/2011 19:44

oh. Blush x-post.

I thought you meant he always calls you that in front of your mother and you actually hate it but he doesn't care.

erm. as you were then.

strawberrymewmew · 08/05/2011 19:46

I have a friend who thinks it's fine to call any girl he knows this, his Wife doesn't have a problem with it as she just takes it as the joke he thinks it is.
It absaloutly disgusts me anytime he calls me it. Arghhh.

Original poster
nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 19:47

well i didn't make a scene at the time as i was hoping she hadn't heard. and she's not the sort of mum to be upset about it tbh. he usually has better judgement.

OP posts:
Original poster
nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 19:52

it's niggling at me though, so will have to say something.

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 08/05/2011 19:55

You: PLease don't call me sugartits, esp in front of mum.
Him: Yes sorry don't know what came over me it went down like a lead balloon didn't it
You: Quite

Job done!

RevoltingPeasant · 08/05/2011 19:55

You know, I think what would bug me most about that would be the disrespect to my mum - it's a bit like schoolkids mouthing rude words to each other behind the teacher's back and then doing a poker face whenever she turns around.

Presumably he expected that your mum wouldn't hear or wouldn't understand or wouldn't be comfortable challenging him on it, and therefore it would be a private joke between you two - right?

If so, then it is basically intended as a private joke at your mum's expense, and I find that pretty distasteful. It is the same as being inappropriately touchy-feely with your OH at a party: it's saying, look, we're a couple, you're not part of this.

I'd have words.....

florencedougal · 08/05/2011 19:56

gavin and stacey innit

or more precisely dave coaches and nessa

squeakytoy · 08/05/2011 20:02

In our house my mum or mil would have just laughed... as would I. I can think of a lot worse things to get the hump over. :)

WentworthMillerMad · 08/05/2011 20:02

It's a piss take of mel Gibson. That's what he called the police officer who arrested him for drink driving.
Sorry but it's v funny!

Bogeyface · 08/05/2011 20:05

Sorry but I did snigger!

Ok so it wasnt ideal in front of your mum but as a general silly thing to say then I dont think it is offensive. I can see that you might embarrassed in front of your mum but if you would take offence even if it was just the 2 of you then I think you are over reacting a bit tbh!

Just call him needle dick next time he asks you for something!

Original poster
nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 20:13

i think it was more that he did it at the dinner table but quietly and in passing which made me feel awkward in that I didn't know whether mum and her partner had heard or not, knowing that they would get the reference to any tv show.
i just thought, twat, not funny. shut up and eat your dinner.

OP posts:
Original poster
nevergoogle · 08/05/2011 20:14

he wouldn't dare do that in front of his mother i'm sure of that!

OP posts:
LostInTransmogrification · 08/05/2011 20:23

He has probably realised it didn't get the laugh he hoped so probably won't do it again.

If he does it again reply calling him 'cheesy knob' or 'sweaty bollocks'. That ought to do it!

WentworthMillerMad · 08/05/2011 21:14

Needle dick, sweaty bollocks! Ha ha ha! Now that's a reply!

diggingintheribs · 08/05/2011 21:22

I second the revolting peasant,

my BIL and SIL are always whispering, looking at you and then giggling. Drives me nuts. Especially as in all likelihood they're just telling an 'in' joke and would be embarrassed if you heard rather than making fun of you iyswim