Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Dp and I have been on holiday and we met another couple whilst there but

33 replies

wasonlybeingfriendly · 08/05/2011 16:07

Dp suggested they come and stay with us and see the sights,they rang the next day to suggest a date,tbh we dont have the room and why he said it I dont know?.

They have rang again 2 weeks later for a date,I have tried to put them off,they said the balls in our court now, and they will wait to hear from us.

How can I let them done gently,ideas please?.

OP posts:

zandy · 08/05/2011 16:10

Tell them the truth. Dear x, really very sorry but dh invited you without thinking, as we really do not have the room to put you up. (maybe adding that you'll be happy to provide links for local hotels if required.

Good luck.

Tryharder · 08/05/2011 16:10

Seems like they got the message already. But why not invite them? It's a weekend out of your life and you might enjoy it!

frgaaah · 08/05/2011 16:11

You have to be honest here similar to what Zandy says. Otherwise if you make excuses they'll not know if it's just bad timing or if you don't want them to come (e.g. if you say you're too busy right now, or you're working overtime that week, whatever).

Tell the truth - or better yet, make your DH. He was the one to put you in this uncomfortable position. Not really you misunderstanding to clean up...

bubblecoral · 08/05/2011 16:12

Do you want to see them again?

If not, just don't call them. If you do, be honest and say that you really don't have the space, but you could suggest a hotel and would still love to show them around.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/05/2011 16:16

Oooooohhhhh, get an airbed, pluck a weekend date out of the air and live a little. Seems a shame to just bomb them off

Original poster

wasonlybeingfriendly · 08/05/2011 16:17

Thanks guys,they are lovely, but im funny about my personal space,and it means the kids would have to come in with us for the night.

I have to work the day they want to come down,so I have to sort beds etc the night before and then come home and entertain.

OP posts:

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 08/05/2011 16:24

you dont want them to come just say so . FGS its only one night what is wrong with you .

flyingspaghettimonster · 08/05/2011 16:25

I think if he invited them then it is rude not to have them to stay, even if you don't have much space - most people can fit some sleeping bags on the floor! They will likely feel hurt that you don't want to see them again after implying you did, and maybe embarrassed for suggesting a date. I don't think you should let them down at all. What is one weekend in the grand scheme of things? Tell your OH off for putting you in a spot, then grin and bare the cramped accommodation and know that you have fulfilled the obligation.

I know it can be a pain, though - especially with certain types of people. We went to a party once and one guy brought a friend along... the hosts were very sweet and at some point while tipsy said something like 'oh, you should come for a bbq sometime' to the man. He showed up THE NEXT DAY with his wife and child, completely unannounced, and settled in on their couch even after they said they didn't have anything in for dinner - one of them had to go out and buy everything for a bbq while the guy waited, and the wife kept complaining about their dogs... they stayed 8 hours!! The moral is, never make an invitation you wouldn't be happy to go through with... go beat that into your OH :-)

Icelollycraving · 08/05/2011 16:26

If you want to see them again,then suggest a suitable date & enjoy yourself. Put them in yr room & sleep in the living room.
If you don't want to see them,don't call,I think they have got the hint though!

ItsCHEEKYTime · 08/05/2011 16:35

ASk them if they wouldnt mind staying in a hotel - or do you have family that could put them up - if they live near? you might enjoy it.

TidyDancer · 08/05/2011 16:38

I would suggest that they stay in a hotel or B&B and spend time with you while you were there, although I would explain that it's because you don't have a spare room and your DH spoke without thinking first!

Original poster

wasonlybeingfriendly · 08/05/2011 16:39

Wakeup whats wrong is Im suffering from depression and have for a while, I find it really hard sometimes being around other people , and tbh was surprised someone really liked us that much,maybe I should just invite them and apologise for the small space?.

OP posts:

HerRoyalNotness · 08/05/2011 16:45

I think it could be fun. and if it is only for 1 or 2 nights, I think it could be manageable for you. If you got on well with them, it could be a lovely chance to keep the friendship going.

If/When you invite them with the specific date, just say, I hope you don't mind roughing it a bit, we're tight on space.

SpotsMumSally · 08/05/2011 17:00

I think you should invite them, you obviously had some sort of rapport for them to want to visit you and you just might enjoy it?

Plan in advance what you are doing/sleeping arrangements/points of interest while you are unavailable and so on and then you won't feel so overwhelmed.

Then have a lovely evening with them

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy · 08/05/2011 17:12

If you do get a date fixed get your DH to do all the work of sorting out where they will sleep.

MissingMySleep · 08/05/2011 17:16

might be easiest if you get them to rearrange to a day when you have the day off, and then try it - you might have fun!

manicinsomniac · 08/05/2011 17:20

I'm like you in hating having people to stay but sometimes it's unavoidable.

If I was the other couple I think I'd feel really hurt and awkward.

lalalonglegs · 08/05/2011 17:23

If you really don't want to have them in your home (and I think most people wouldn't mind about a squash for one night) then, as your partner invited them, you should offer to put them up in a local B&B and all go out together. Unless you live in a very expensive part of the country, it should be doable and will make them feel welcome without putting too much pressure on your own space.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 08/05/2011 17:26

You sound very much like me - I hate the thought of people staying but actually I think in this instance just 'go with it' - see how it works out!! You may enjoy it - sometimes these things can bring people out of their low points a little and it breaks the mundaneness of life!

Go for it!!

pigletmania · 08/05/2011 17:32

I would invite them, its only for 2 nights at the most, not a whole week or two! You never know you might all enjoy it.

razzlebathbone · 08/05/2011 19:26

OP you sound a lot like me too and I really do sympathise. But why don't you try to look at this in a more positive way? They must really like you and have formed a great opinion of you over a relatively little amount of time. I think you should just take the plunge and let them come. Take some annual leave if you can. Let them have your room or get an airbed and see how it goes. It's only a couple of days and at least if it's a disaster you have tried and done something outside of your 'comfort zone'. I really think it'll do you good. If it goes well you'll be proud of yourself and if it doesn't it won't kill you and you might even laugh about it in the future.

kaid100 · 08/05/2011 19:29

Well, they said the balls in your court so I think they sort of realise the situation. You're free to let it slide.

jenga079 · 08/05/2011 19:46

Why don't you just be honest with them? "We'd really like to see you, but there's not much room. Would you mind sleeping on an airbed in the living room?"

EmmaBemma · 08/05/2011 19:47

I agree with everyone who says you could probably let this slide painlessly enough on both sides, but also the people who say why not invite them and see how it goes, if you like them and your only issue is space?

I'm another one who dreads house guests (even though I'm pretty free with the invites, I spend the week or so leading up to their arrival in mounting panic) but I always end up enjoying myself.

TrillianAstra · 08/05/2011 20:09

"Sorry, DH invited you without really thinking out the practicalities and we don't really have room.

We'd love to meet up with you though and could recommend places to stay and things to do if you do decide to visit the area.

Sorry again for the misunderstanding."

Flip

1 2