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AIBU?

To think i know how my childs name is pronounced?

242 replies

crappymummum · 08/05/2011 14:36

So my friend says she has just had an in depth argument with one of her friends who i happen to know over my daughters name.

DD is called Luisa.Not Louisa but LuiSa as in emphasis on the S not the soft sounding s in Louisa.I think the name originates from Germany but is widely used in Spain.
My DD was born in Spain (we are now back in the UK) so i liked the thought of a Spanish name, especially as we planned on staying there for some time.My Aunt is Spanish and also called Luisa.

Apparently this argument started when the lady started arguing with my friend when she was pronouncing it correctly saying no its Louisa,it's stupid etc and how it is just an alternative spelling but pronounced the same etc etc.

This is becoming a bit of a problem as i have noticed friends/teachers etc calling her Louisa...even receiving invites to parties with Louisa on.

Should i just let them get on with it for an easy life for my daughter and just accept that Louisa is what she will be called?

AIBU to be really bloody annoyed about this woman?

OP posts:
cece · 08/05/2011 17:28

How strange my neighbours have a Luisa and I haven't noticed them pronouncing it like the OP, plus they both speak fluent Spanish. Hmm

I have the same problem with my DD; people mispronouce it all the time. To be fair it does have two pronouciations but I only tend to get cross when the teacher says it wrong for the whole year! Shock

DD doesn't mind though, she likes the alternative. But if she did mind I would happily complain to the teacher if required.

nijinsky · 08/05/2011 17:31

I honestly wonder what the British education system teaches sometimes. So many basic spelling mistakes that none of my German or Dutch friends would make. There is no other way to pronounce your daughter's name with that spelling than LuiSa. Its bloody obvious. Insist on it, its not that difficult and at least will expand some people's education. Louisa is a more common Christian name in this country but its spelt differently.

It honestly does astonish me what people struggle with in regard to names in this country. My partner's surname is Mitchell. The number of people who ask him if that is one "L" o two is incredible. How the bloody hell can you spell it with one "L"? My surname causes great difficulty to Scottish people for some reason, but not English. Its a word in common everyday useage fgs!

tyler80 · 08/05/2011 17:32

cece both speak fluent Spanish or are both Spanish? As mentioned earlier, Spanish people often will anglicise their name when introducing themselves in English, even if you're in Spain

crappymummum · 08/05/2011 17:34

Thanks confuddledDOTcom,i feel you know where i am coming from! Grin

and heliumballoons: tomas is a lovely name too.My other choice for a girl was Sofia!

I think the point i am trying to make is not that the lady didn't know that my DD's name was pronounced differently and just mis read or said it but that she apparently argued with my friend until she was blue in the face that Louisa and Luisa were the same so she didnt see what all the fuss was about...rhat i'd just invented it to be awkward or something!Sad

OP posts:
WriterofDreams · 08/05/2011 17:37

Minty moo I'm dying to know what your name is!

tyler80 · 08/05/2011 17:37

I know someone with the surname Mitchel so I don't think it's unreasonable to clarify the spelling.

MrsBananaGrabber · 08/05/2011 17:41

I have an Emmeline, we live in North America, everyone and I mean EVERYONE, hears Emily, it drives me insane, I sound like a mad woman, 'no it's EMMELIIIIIINEEEEEEEEE.

MintyMoo · 08/05/2011 17:48

Writer - it's Lowri, Welsh for Laura.

The 'Low' rhymes with 'snow' NOT 'cow' and the 'ri' is as in tree.

'Low - ree'

Everyone insists on pronouncing it like Lowri Turner (she was a Low (snow) ri as well but gave up correcting people after a while). The thing is the 'ow' sound we make when falling over DOES NOT EXIST in the Welsh language, Lowri is a Welsh name and therefore is not pronounced that way.

People with no Welsh connections whatsoever do love to tell me I'm wrong though (Mum's a native Welsh speaker)

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 08/05/2011 17:50

Has anyone ever looked these people in the eye and said "Are you actually suggesting that I do not know how to pronounce my own name?"

MintyMoo · 08/05/2011 17:52

Hecate - good line, I'm going to try it. I usually say 'I do know how to pronounce my own name you know' but have, on more than one occasion, recieved a 'no you don't, it's X'

Sometimes I despair!

MintyMoo · 08/05/2011 17:56

ps: I usually find the best way to deal with the 'oh but that's the Welsh way of pronouncing it, I'm going to use the English way' people is to purposefully mispronounce their names and telling them sweetly

'Oh, but that's how we say it in Wales' until they start saying mine correctly. Usually reserved for people who think they're extremely funny and witty and making a point of annoying me. Sure does cut them down to size.

WriterofDreams · 08/05/2011 17:57

Lovely name Minty :) The thing that pisses me off is that no one ever spells my name correctly, no matter how many times I tell them. The spelling is in no way complicated whatsoever, in fact it's completely phonetical and not weird at all. Even on facebook people spell it wrong, despite the fact that it's written right there Angry

I can't believe that people would actually refuse to use your name or refuse to pronounce it correctly - that's just weird and stupid

tallulahxhunny · 08/05/2011 17:59

my daughters name is eireann same pronounciation as erin but it pissed me off when teacher taught her to write it as erin!! Grrrrrr I had to make a point every day of telling the teacher to make her write it as its spelt not how she wanted to do it!

i too would pronounce your daughters as lousia but if i knew the proper pronounciation i would call her by that. If you correct people and tell your daughter to correct people too then eventually they will call her by her proper name

Glitterandglue · 08/05/2011 18:04

nijinsky It's incredibly easy to not figure out how names are pronounced from their spellings because an awful lot of the English language is not spelt phonetically. Probably because we keep nicking words from other languages as they're useful, but then they don't get Anglicised in any formal way. And names especially are so often not phonetic.

Seriously, you ever tried to teach a kid who's learning to read words like 'water'? Makes no sense when they have up to now been doing 'C - A - T - cat."

xstitch · 08/05/2011 18:07

YANBU however you should be understanding on someone mispronouncing it initially. If they are corrected but continue to say it wrong (unless impossible for them due to speech impediment) or worse tell you you are wrong they are being incredibly rude.

ninjinsky I have come across the name Mitchell spelt with one l although my first instinct would be to use 2. Personally I would rather ask than get it wrong and offend someone that way. Names can sometimes have unusual spellings due to high levels of illiteracy in the past. If a registrar in the past (most commonly around the start of registration made a mistake quite often that whole branch of that family will then hold a new version of that surname. As literacy improved then that spelling still stuck with that spelling through convension. I could give a few examples from my family tree but would rahe not out myself. Out of interest, what name is it us Scots find impossible to spell? I am intrigued, you can PM if you like.

I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked 'are you sure' about the spelling of my name and my name has a standard spelling. My usual answer is yes I have had the name for several decades.

MintyMoo · 08/05/2011 18:08

Writer - thanks, I'm very fond of it :) long standing family name.

Tallulah - that is shocking!

xstitch · 08/05/2011 18:10

Tallulah I would have gone over her head and complained to the head that is not acceptable.

JeremyVile · 08/05/2011 18:12

Ok, the variation in spelling is neither here or there.

Louisa/luisa...same thing.

Different languages often can, and almost always do, share nouns but pronounce then differently. How could they not?

My ds has a traditional spanish name (though in no way unusual here) it is pronounced one way in spain, one way here. Natural isnt it? the emphasis on different letters is inevitable.

Would be pretty fucking weird of me to insist that people here pronounce his name in a spanish accent, which really is pretty much what you are asking.

JeremyVile · 08/05/2011 18:15

I think you are thinking because you spell it Luisa that it becomes a different thing to Louisa....but it doesnt, its the same name. And how it is pronounced depends on the accent of the person saying it.

Loo-ee-sah in a spanish accent, correct and normal.
Loo-ee-zah in an english accent, correct and normal.

its not a different word.

nijinsky · 08/05/2011 18:16

I have never come across the surname Mitchell spelled with one "L". I will have to take your word for it that it does occur. However the situations I refer to is where it was automatically spelled with one "L" without the question being asked.

Mind you, I think it is my accent. I go up to the bakery counter in Sainsburys and ask for a lemon cupcake. "Whut?" Then, several minutes later when I have succeeded, with trepidation, I ask for a croissant. "A whut?" How many things can one buy from a bakery counter that sound remotely like croissant?

xstitch · 08/05/2011 18:23

I have the same problem in shops nijinsky I have occasionally written down requests or typed them on my phone to read.


I definitely have an accent but I don't think it is that strong or broad IYKWIM. My DP certainly finds my mum's neighbours a lot more difficult to understand than even when he first met me yet that is where I grew up.

I agree it strange for people to assume you use the more unusual spelling.

throckenholt · 08/05/2011 18:25

I would make sure you call her it the proper (Spanish way) whenever you can and are with people. And remind the school that it is Lu-isa and s Spanish name and mention that it is causing a bit on confusion for her when people use the equivalent English name.

I wouldn't correct people regularly but hope they would pick it up as they get to know her. Invitations - I would send a written reply with the right spelling on.

It isn't really difficult to say and with any luck people will pick it up. And those that don't - well life is too short to worry about them.

nijinsky · 08/05/2011 18:30

But I have barely any accent X-Stitch, other than a very general tinge of Scottish accent. I just don't have the local vernacular. I have no problems in say, Surrey, with my slightly Scottish accent.

xstitch · 08/05/2011 18:35

That's what my accent is like people can generally tell I am Scottish but that's about it. I nearly lost it in a Glasgow city centre pub when I had to ask for hauf a pint before they had the faintest idea what I was talking about.

cumbria81 · 08/05/2011 18:37

Actually, I think YAB a bit U.

My name is Megan. I used to live in France where it was pronounced M-ay-gan (comme la voiture) and flat shared with Australians who pronounced it Maygun etc etc

Point is, people pronounce things in their own accents, like they do every single word they utter. It is not necessarily "wrong".

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