No more manners on public transport!

[A1980]

I know I am BU and I am still so bloody angry but in the last week I've snapped and I've had it.

3 examples in the last 2-3 weeks alone:

1. I wanted to check when my bus was coming to see if I had time to pop to the nearby corner shop first. (Buses are every 20 mins at night). Walked to the post started looking at the timetable as it is very accurate to the minute. It was after 8pm, 4 people waiting for a bus and they're empty at that time of night. An older woman behind me immediately says, if you're waiting for the bus, get behind me! I ignored her and she says louder did you hear me, if you're waiting for the bus, get behind me, I was first!

I ignored her again as I was still looking for the bus time as I was being distracted by her. Finally she taps me on the shoulder and shouts get the fuck behind me I was first. I told her I was looking for the time of the bus to see if i had time to get some milk in the shop and asked if she had a probelm with that. She said no. I then stepped closer to her and told her how dare she speak to me and swear at me in that manner. She backed down and said let me explain and I told her not to talk me again. The bus came in two minutes, she looked embarrassed sat nowhere near me and looked at the floor the entire journey. When she got off she looked at the floor as she had to pass me and I called her a rude bloody cow as she passed. Unreasonable and hypocritical of me I know but I'd just been shouted at and sworn at for nothing.

1. On the bus on my way home from work, I'm tired, eyes on the newspaper, I'm plugged into my iPod and I wouldn't notice a nuclear explosion if it went off infront of me. People get on at the next stop I don't look up, why would I. I get elbowed and nudged and finally hit in the shoulder hard with a heavy bag, I look up to see a pregnant woman I honestly hadn't noticed and she's glaring at me. "Get up and let me sit down, I'm pregnant" she says angrily. I reply "if you ask me politely then I'll gladly you my seat". She glares at me and says nothing. So I said ok then and didn't get up.

1. Another enraged passenger who takes offence to not getting a seat they feel they're entitled to. A woman who is not old (maybe late 40's) pushes people out the way to get to the front of the bus queue when she was last there, pushes her two DC's and her dog on infront of everyone and then elbows me out of the way so she can get on first just as I'm stepping onto the bus from the kerb. I lost my footing and fell over hitting my shin on the edge of the bus step. My restraint was admirable and I only restrained myself as her children were present.

I have the beginnings of arthritis in one knee and it can be painful to stand especially if you twist it standing on a moving bus. But I never say anyhting or make an issue of it.

So that's it. I've had it. I am treating people from now on with the contempt they treat me with, I'm not giving my seat up for anyone and if that's unreasonable so be it. I've had enough.

i think the pregnant women was extremely rude and you don't just ask for someone to give their seat and hit them with a bag so I don't blame you.

sit 3 doesn't sound to great either. How dare someone push you off the bus like that, disgusting.

I am just glad I don't have to commute now. did it years ago and it is stressful

but try to rise above it. you are the better person. why would you want to descend to their level.

Why couldnt you stand for a bus journey at 4.5 months pregnant? Did you have SPD or something similar?

AmazingBouncingFerret, I can see how someone who is not yet heavily pregnant would not want to stand on a bus, luckily I have never been in that situation as I drive to work but I would have been worried about the bus braking suddenly or taking a corner sharply and falling and possibly injuring myself or the baby, not all bus drivers are good drivers.

Everyone is a bastard as well as the OP, I never had one person offer me a seat when I was pregnant, I was well pissed off on a crowded bus when I was over due standing up and the guy in the seat right next to where I was standing offered his seat to a guy in his 50's/60's who didn't look like he needed it.

I also got pissed off on the tube when I got on and was walking to the last seat and this woman jumped in it in front of me I muttered something, she gave me a shocked look and I slumped back to stand against the doors.

I don't see why anyone should ask you to give up your seat, it is common manners to pay attention and get up for those who need it, they shouldn't have to ask, it's hard to tell if someone needs the seat or not, not every disabled person is clearly disabled, when I was in early pregnancy I offered my seat to a far more pregnant woman who was standing, she was greatful and spent the rest of the journey looking at me and looking a little embarrassed at one point asking me if I was ok standing there, it's utterly stupid that on a crowded bus the only person willing to stand up for a pregnant woman is another pregnant woman.

And when I went to work in the morning there was regularly a woman with cancer and a guy on crutches who all ways got off at the hospital and barely anyone ever let them have a seat, especially one belligerent twat in particular who never sat at the window seat but all ways refused to move to let anyone sit there, even the guy with crutches.

I travel by public transport every day and while I've had plenty of overfull, annoyingly late buses and people who don't seem to realise that you need to buy tickets which needs money before settling into your bus seat, I certainly haven't ever had any problems with people being difficult or unpleasant. Rather the opposite. I think you handled situations 1 and 2 badly and amde them far worse than they needed to be and 3 -well, shit happens.

This is why people want their own cars and do not want to rely in public transport.

Where the hell do you people live?
When I was pregnant I got offered a seat every single day without fail - when i have DD's buggy I get offered help every time without fail.

....in central London

OldMumsy

Yeah great if you can afford it, then you can get blinded by high beams, pissed off at idiots who don't indicate, charged stupid money for fuel and parking etc.

only difference between cars and public transport is the bastards are in tin boxes pissing you off, it's the same all over, the same bastards barge into you in the street, take up the whole pavement and expect you to walk in the road, ride crappy bicycles all over the place at high speed, it's not really a public transport issue, it's a modern selfish/ignorant attitude problem that has taken over (at least in London anyway) personally I think they all need a slap and the law needs changing to allow us to give them all a slap without fear of prosecution, they can call it the teach em respect law.

AmazingBouncingFerrett - I assume for the same reason I didn't want to be standing on the bus, some bus drivers seem to forget they have passengers on board & drive like absolute assholes, sending everyone on board flying, not great normally but especially not whilst pregnant.

Situations 1 & 3. Welcome to my world, that's nothing compared to some of the crap I see happening on buses everyday. But, YANBU

With regard to situation 2, you really need to keep an eye on what's going on around you for your own security if anything.

WiiUnfit, didnt realise being pregnant effected the ability to hold onto railings as well as a none pregnant person!

aj1980 yes, itis true; and its disturbing to me

If people ask me something very rudely or abruptly I reply as politely as possible as that wrongfoots them a lot more than being rude back, and it usually diffuses the situation.

AmazingBouncingFerrett - I didn't say it did, but the risks involved with going flying down a speeding bus are a bit different when you are. You clearly haven't been on any bus journeys where this has happened.

Madamdeathstar you are especially unreasonable for quite clearly being unable to read.

I said

"A woman who is not old (maybe late 40's)"

Go back adn read that bit in the OP!

My worst experience was myself and 2 DC being pushed out of the way by a surge of sixth form studants.My DCs were a bit scared and bewildered but this was not a situation to get the sharp elbows out.I told them loudly that they were well mannered enough to queue and these people were very rude.When I was 36 weeks pg with DC1 I went inti London by tube (evening, training course) and 2 young men in priority seats were pretending to be asleep (they were awake when I got on) so I asked,nicely if I could sit down(size of house) and one one them relented.Could have thrown up on his shoes I suppose,very bumpy those underground trains

WiiUnfit Yes ive been on many buses over the years and have been witness to bad driving and the results of it. It's just as shocking if it's an elderly person or a young maybe pregnant person.
I just dont see why someone who is not very pregnant to the point where it isnt showing and causing any physical problems should sit down instead of an elderly lady and elderly person is more likely to have things wrong with them that would prevent them holding on properly. My mother is 65, I dont consider her remotely elderly, she doesnt look old but she has awful arthuritis in her knuckles to the point where she wouldnt be able to hold on. In my mind she deserves the seat more than some young pregnant woman.

I get dreadful travelsickness while pregnat. Standing on a bus for more then 10 mins would turn me green, then not long later, i would start to feal very faint. This starts in early pregnacy.

So I wasnt safe to stand. I lost count of the times I nearly fainted or vomited on the bus.

Amazingboucingferret, not everyone has an easy pregnacy and can truly be unsafe to stand

Pom check out the pics on my profile. I didnt have an easy pregnancy, also had the worst morning sickness second time round on top of the other problems but still managed to stand in early pregnancy for a 15 minute bus ride!

Yes, 5 days a week, I would spend 2 hours 30mins a day on moving buses (going to and from collage).
The first bus was a public bus. This one was packed for the whole 45 mins. I was never rude, was too shy to ask for a seat. But in hindsight, it was dangerous. If I was stood all the way, and fainted, there would have been a domino affect and lots of people could have been hurt.
I would have to get off early (to vomit or sit on a wall till better) which would normaly mean i missed the next bus.
I cant stand rude people. But if a pregnat woman is asked to move, they should be able to keep their seat by explaining stiuation and the standing person askes someone else for a seat.

Well your situation sounds slightly different to that other poster. But we would be arguing over what are merely possiblities because we dont know her full story.
She didnt say she was sick or faint. So we can only assume she wasnt.

In your situation yes you should of asked for a seat instead of risk knocking yourself out by fainting.

But I stand by my view that an otherwise normal healthy not heavily pregnant woman can stand for a certain length of time without anything dangerous happening to them.

Agree with you there! If you can stand you should so someone worse off can sit.
Best thing would be if people tryed to keep an eye out for everyone else.
Im pregnat again and will not be getting a bus without a fight! But I now get travel sick while Im driving which aparenty is impossible

"Best thing would be if people tryed to keep an eye out for everyone else."

Oh if only!

Good luck on the pregnancy!

AmazingBouncingFerrett - I agree with you on that point, in an earlier post I said;

"Situation 2 - the woman should have asked you or another person politely. FWIW, I have given my seat up whilst pregnant to a frail elderly lady as no one else would. There are tons of incredibly rude, selfish & obnoxious morons around."

I explained why the poster probably wouldn't want to & why I personally didn't want to stand on a bus whilst pregnant. I just think that it comes to something when pregnant women or other frail individuals are having to give up seats for those more in need while a bunch of obnoxious nobs stay sat.