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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Row over no dropped kerb

163 replies

pingu2209 · 07/05/2011 14:45

My friend lives in a very busy and narrow street full of Victorian terraced houses with terrible parking issues. Many of the houses have had their front garden walls removed and paved over their garden so that they can park their car.

Some of these houses have paid the council to drop the kerb outside so they can park, but many of the houses have not. You can legally park across someone's house (and therefore car parking space) where the kerb is not dropped.

There are constant rows between my friend and her neighbours when she parks infront of 2 or 3 houses where the kerb is not dropped. When she does it, it is because she has no choice as there is no where else to park on the street.

The owners of these houses have become really nasty about it and she is worried her car/house will be damaged during the night. Her view is they should apply for a dropped kerb and pay for it to be done. Of course, they may well have already applied and the council have turned them down as there are so many dropped kerbs already? Who knows.

Is she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
PenguinArmy · 08/05/2011 16:50

I think if there is no car there, then fair enough, park there.

If the owners have their car parked and the OP knows they are using it as driveway then that is UR as it should make no difference if the car is parked on the 'drive' or the road

ChunkyPickle · 08/05/2011 17:00

I know that life isn't ideal, but whenever I've had a car, I've ensured that the place I'm renting has somewhere to park. I think it's unreasonable to move to a street with parking issues, then be upset/unneighbourly because there's parking issues.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 08/05/2011 17:48

You don't always get that much choice where you move to though Chunky. And if you buy a house on a street where there is an issue, then the neighbours don't get first dibs because they've lived there longest.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 08/05/2011 17:50

I'm guessing that DontGoCurly has parking issues of her own, hence the calling a complete stranger a cow several times Hmm

screamingskull is absolutely spot on. They don't have a driveway, they have a paved front garden. It's tough shit.

feggyart · 08/05/2011 18:05

She is being unreasonable. And petty. And mean. And rude.

Lets hope a sick child doesn't need to be rushed to hospital. Or any other emergency uh?

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy · 08/05/2011 18:12

That sick child could very well be the OP's friends DC. Why should they have to wait an extra 10 mins, possibly longer, to get to hospital because the OP's friend has to park further away.

The neighbours don't have an automatic right to park in their front gardens or to break the law by driving over the pavement. If they want a driveway then they need to get the kerb dropped. They also don't have the right to cause criminal damage to the friend's car either.

DontGoCurly · 08/05/2011 18:24

Gwendoline, nope I've no parking issues at all. I never block anyone in and I have never been blocked in. Neither have I ever had any kind of run-in with anyone over parking. I'm coming at this from a completely neutral standpoint. But like the majority I find the OP's friend shockingly unreasonable and selfish.

This is a common sense issue and OP's friend IS being breathtakingly rude and selfish and out of order.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 08/05/2011 18:42

Fair enough, I assumed wrong. I've never had a run in over parking either, although parking is crap round here (also narrow Victorian road). But I really can't see how one has a claim over the other. They do not have a drive. It's as simple as that.

LemonEmmaP · 08/05/2011 18:46

I am really surprised at the almost unanimous YABU response here. My first thoughts were that she would not be unreasonable to take a space as you describe. Indeed, if I was looking for a parking place and saw a paved garden but no dropped kerb, it wouldn't even occur to me that the garden was for parking on. I would just figure they liked paving and didn't want a wall or fence. Of course, if there was a car parked there, then I would realise and would park elsewhere. If your friend is blocking others in, then I would say SIBU, but to park in a space when the 'drive' is empty would seem quite reasonable to me. I would be interested to know the council's view - I suspect they would be loathe to approve additional dropped kerbs if the parking situation is already bad, as while you can park, say, 4 cars outside 3 houses by parking parallel, you would only fit in 3 if one or more of those houses got a dropped kerb. It wouldn't make sense. Neighbourliness may mean that she needs to give a little bit more slack here, but overall I am a lonely voice saying I don't think she's unreasonable to park there.

CaroBeaner · 08/05/2011 18:47

A dropped kerb to give access to a parking space in what was the front garden essentially makes a stretch of road unavailable for anyone else in the street. Which is fine if every house has a driveway and parking is not an issue. But not fine in a traditionally terraced row built without drives.

Your friend is NBU, but I can understand the general angst.

It would be bad for to block someone IN, but I don't see why she can't park across the entrance if the car is out.

DontGoCurly · 08/05/2011 18:53

They do have a drive, just not an official one. Good for them I say. She is being very childish and 'dog in the manger-ish' about it.

She would pave her drive too if she could, but no she cant, because she rents. In the grown up world thats called tough shit.

I would never consider it my business if my neighbours had paid the council or not . Its none of my business. I certainly wouldnt be blocking their spot out of spite and sour grapes.

feggyart · 08/05/2011 18:57

I would defy anyone here not to be mightily pissed off if they got blocked in. Whatever the circustances.

It's just good manners not to deliberatly block someone surely?

I can see the other side of the argument but the crux for me is the deliberate and provocative blocking.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 08/05/2011 18:59

She wants her garden but thinks they should pay for dropped kerbs!?

She is being VERY unreasonable.

olderandwider · 08/05/2011 19:04

As I see it, neighbours want their off street parking but won't pay for a dropped kerb. Touche

olderandwider · 08/05/2011 19:06

Touche should have an acute accent over the "e", obviously [French emoticon]

MrsLukeDanes · 08/05/2011 19:10

Apologies, haven't read all of the posts but this is a contensious issue where I live - a neighbour reported me for slightly driving over a kerb (next door has a dropped kerb and there is enough space for me to get to my private drive way - has been like this for years, when I bought the property etc). The council responsed by putting in bollards to restrict me and I had to bite the bullet and pay £1000 for a dropped kerb. Fair enough, hadn't really crossed my mind as that had been the way for years. I haven't got that money 'spare' so really could have done with not doing it 'properly' but they are the rules. In my opinion (sour grapes) they should have to pay for a dropped kerb too! Grin

DontGoCurly · 08/05/2011 19:19

Mrs Luke, that is mad. I just cant understand why your neighbours would complain that you drove over a bit of kerb.....like it was no skin off their noses...!!!
Pure utter begrudgery.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 08/05/2011 19:24

DontGoCurly - if they haven't paid for a drop method, IT'S NOT THEIR SPACE. It's an ordinary section of road that anyone can park on.

ronda1 · 08/05/2011 19:28

Even if theres a dropped kerb the police will only take action if you block sombody in!
Its called obstruction.
If the drive is empty and you park over a dropped kerb (not one for wheelchair access) its not an offence as your not causing an obstruction.
That said I once had all my car windows smashed for parking outside a neighbours house.
NO droped kerb, NO drive, they just wanted to park there themselves!! and they had a garage in the back garden!
They were arrested, convicted, and I got the £1000 it cost in repairs back at £10 a month
Yup 8+ years to pay!!!!!!!!!
Not unreasonable but if your friend likes her car in one piece then she has to back down, she cant win!
Now you have my thoughts could you all go over to the "face of Disney" section and vote for "Splishy Splashy Fun"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MrsLukeDanes · 08/05/2011 19:29

I thought that DontGoCurly, not hurting anyone, have my own private space to park etc. but I guess it is using something you haven't paid for? Maybe they had paid for their own dropped kerb to use and now begrudge those who are cheekily using private parking without paying. I have to admit that I am now lemon mouth over people who do this (but I wouldn't complain to the council about them). I would, however, park in front of an empty 'paved garden' if the kerb was raised and there was no-where else to park (but I wouldn't block anyone in).

DontGoCurly · 08/05/2011 19:30

Technically yes, morally no. I would never have the lack of social nous this woman has.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 08/05/2011 19:34

DontGoCurly - So it's more moral to insist that you be given exclusive use of a public resource for free than it is to use the first available instance of a public resource that can then be used by others when you aren't using it?

DontGoCurly · 08/05/2011 19:38

Mrs Luke, if you ask me it's all a scam by the council. Its not our bit of pavement when they want a grand to drop it, but yet in winter we're told it's our responsibility to remove the snow from it. Feckin money grabbers !

MrsLukeDanes · 08/05/2011 19:38

Parking is a contensious (sp?) issue, but you do not own the space in front of your house - it is public space and really tough luck if someone else parks there. If you live on a road as the OP describes, then you should be prepared for this to happen regularly I'm afraid. The OP's friend is really not being unreasonable. I'm suprised that so many people think she is!

MrsLukeDanes · 08/05/2011 19:40

And yes, DontGo Curly, it is a lot of money - most of it 'admin' and 'planning' charges, Hmm but I had to swallow the cost to get to my driveway 'legally'! Lots of these roads as the OP describes were designed and built well before we all wanted/needed car spaces, hence lots of problems!