To stop dp inviting dd cousin to do ballet with her?

[parafused]

this is not a big issue but would love some opinions.

Dd and her cousin get along really well they are like sisters and best friends all in one it is lovely. They go to playschool together twice a week see each other at mil's once a week.

Dd is 3 y/o and started ballet today. Dp wants to ask his sister if her dd (my dd cousin) would like to come along next week to ballet with us.

Im quite keen for dd to do something independent from her cousin, but cannot really explain why I guess for her to make new friends and gain independence, but then she is only three? Aibu?

YABU

No, I can understand your feelings however I expect your dp will think you're barmy.

Why not let your DH decide on this, unless you have particularly strong feelings about it? It's his niece also and perhaps he'd like his DD and DN to have activities in common.

what a lovely thoughtful dp you have

I can sort of understand your feelings but your dd is only three she will have plenty of time and opportunity to do stuff independently from her cousin,

YABU and a bit mean.

YANBU to want your child to have the chance to make friends that arenjust hers and not her cousins but I feel this could go really badly wrong if you try and impose a ban on the other child joining in. The other child might not even want to do it/enjoy it so you might get what you want without seeming mean so say nothing.

I agree, you do have a lovely, thoughtful dp. I also agree that it would be good for your dd to do something independent of her cousin. She is more likely to make friends for herself if she goes alone.

You are being very unreasonable. Two girls can just as easily make friends with others.

She's only three, isn't she a bit young for you to be worrying about independence?

YANBU no reasone for them to be forced to live in eachother's pockets. Did your dd ask for her cousin to go to ballet with her? Or was it just your husband's idea? If she goes to ballet with her cousin she probably won't try and make new friends there

Why is your husband so keen for them to go together?

I would go along with it if your daughter was asking, if not I don´t think it would occur to me to ask someone else.

YANBU, they need to do things apart and foster their own friendships.

Why does your dp want them to come? Surely if she wanted her to do it his sister would have arranged it herself.

DD has a cousin of a similar age and we made sure they went to separate social groups as they were at nursery and school together.

YANBU - it's not as though you're trying to stop your dn from going to the class, you're just not actively trying to make it happen. If you're concerned that your DD is overly reliant on dn's friendship, it sounds like it would be good for her to go by herself. Do your BIL and SIL take your dd to everything your dn does? I'm assuming not, so why shouldn't your dd have something that's just hers?

YABU. Your DD is three, so making new friends and gaining independence is less of a priority than having a good relationship wit her cousin. There will be plenty of opportunity for that as she gets older.