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to want to throttle a neighbours bratty child?

49 replies

AlmightyCitrus · 06/05/2011 18:46

OK, threats of violence towards a child aren't big or clever, but AAAARGH. She is sending me batty.

Superbrat is 8. She is an only child, and she is spoilt rotten by her mother and grandparents.
She does not understand the meaning of NO.

I've heard her monumental tantrums through the walls for years. Now she is playing out with my kids and I get to see them in person, and the petty reasons behind them.
These are not normal tantrums. They are full on screaming and can go on for over an hour.

Example: A boy from up the street bought himself an ice-cream from the van. She stomped up and asked for it. He said no, she insisted, he said no, she started begging, he said no and she had a screaming fit in the street.

She's trying to get my DD who is a similar age to to something I don't want her involved with. I say no. My DD says OK then (she's not bothered anyway). Superbrat comes knocking on the door. Why can't she do it? I give valid reasons, she says she has to do it. I say no and she gives me the "arms folded dirty look". I explain that we (DD's dad and I) have made our decision and that is that. Superbrat cries, and stomps off. She spends the next 2 hours trying to convince my DD to lie to me and do it anyway.

She will walk off with other kids things because she wants them, and goes mad if the kid wants it back. She was caught stealing something (not in my house, but another neighbours) by my eldest. She denied it and ran home. Item was found in her house.

She's knocking on our door morning,noon and night. We've asked her not to call before a certain time, but she can apparently do what she likes. (I am V. pregnant, and am quite partial to a weekend lie in. I don't like being woken at 7). She knows we are in and won't stop knocking til someone answers.

Her mum can't see a problem. She thinks her daughter is "spirited" and "full of life". I think she is just happy to get a break from her.
Her grandparents indulge her every whim

So, come on then wise people. How do you cope with someone else's child who has no respect or understanding? And, AIBU to want to throttle her?

(oh this is quite long, sorry but I could write pages about it)

OP posts:
saffy85 · 06/05/2011 19:30

YANBU. As a fellow heavily pregnant person who needs her shut eye I'd provide an alibi if you gave in to your urge and actually did do away with her. I'm kidding about the last part. Maybe

I'd be having serious words with her mother about coming round your house at stupid o'clock in the morning or other inconvenient times. If she comes round at 7am I'd be round at theirs at 6am the next morning, banging on the door Grin

As for the tantrums or the rude questions about your parenting decisions I wouldn't entertain it. Just slam shut the door politely on her the minute she gives you evils and gets arsey. Cheeky little moo.

Vallhala · 06/05/2011 19:40

I wouldn't bother with the mother - the child isn't as she is for no reason and isn't as she is without the mother being fully aware of it. I'd give the child a list of "You will NOTs", together with a few "I don't CAREs", as in, "You will NOT knock on the door repeatedly if we don't answer..." and "I don't CARE if you want DD to come out....".

No, scrub that... after that song about your baby I'd have virtually thrown the child out of my house and verbally rounded on her her in such a way that she'd be far too scared of coming within 50 yards of any member of my family again, much less coming into my house.

AlmightyCitrus · 06/05/2011 19:45

The Teacher Death Glare is what she does to you if you refuse her!

And thank you saffy....I'll let you know if I need to take you up on the offer Grin

I do feel a bit sorry for her. She's an only child so probably gets a bit lonely (I'm an only one, but lonely or not I was never anything like her), but I can understand why she has so few friends.

I'll leave the early morning door answering duty to DH. It takes me 20 minutes to get my legs over the side of the bed these days!

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 06/05/2011 19:48

What Valhalla said.

AlmightyCitrus · 06/05/2011 20:01

Mother is well aware of her attitude Valhalla. I've heard her trying to reason with superbrat. The mum is so calm while the girl is in absolute meltdown. I honestly don't know how she does it. I'd of lost my rag and shouted back.

OP posts:
NulliusInVerba · 06/05/2011 20:04

AlmightyCitrus - you are my neighbour Im sure of it.

This girl is in my street too, there cannot possibly be 2 superbrats!!!

I felt a bit bad critisising her at first, as my little madam is prone to monumental tantrums, but does not behave like super brat as I do not let her roam the streets terrorising people.
I tired the "chat to mom" but she is just super nice and apologetic, but then dumps super brat outside again for another 6 weeks holiday. It got to the point one year where I considered paying for a holiday, Just so I didnt have to be in for the whole 6 weeks with the grief!
I removed doorbell, didnt answer door ever and had to live like a hermit before she got the message. I have to repeat the process at the start of every holidays.

mossi · 06/05/2011 20:15

The only thing I feel YABU about here is the mention that she's an only child - as though they're all spoilt and somehow shielded from real life. That offends me deeply.

Bucharest · 06/05/2011 20:20

What mossi said.

AlmightyCitrus · 06/05/2011 20:30

Sorry mossi, I don't mean that. I'm an only child myself, and know plenty of others. I mentioned it more as a background of the child. I know we're not all spoilt and bratty.

Nullius fortunately this has only been going on for a few weeks. Luckily the girls mum works so she spends most of the days with her grandparents at their house.

OP posts:
berylmuspratt · 06/05/2011 20:36

Having a very lovely only child myself, I agree with mossi.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/05/2011 20:38

You say you are very pregnant. Could you use that, i.e. behave abominably yourself and blame it on the hormones afterwards Grin?

Every time she came to my door, I would go to her door and complain to her mother. Loudly. Rudely. I'd use the word brat. I'd point out tantrums at age 8 are abnormal. I'd ask her what kind of an adult she's going to be and how unhappy a life she's going to have if she doesn't change. I'd tell the mother it's all her fault and she's a terrible mother. And then burst into tears and flounce back to my own house, slamming the door for good measure.

And then blame it on the hormones Grin.

mossi · 06/05/2011 20:43

Thank you. Am just a bit sensitive that when I go to parents evening - even though the teacher has a sheet of paper in front of her saying my dd is an only child - they always say "she's an only child, isn't she" and then somehow try to justify some issue over it.

I would just tell her she's not to call at your house again. She sounds monstrous.

pillowcase · 06/05/2011 20:55

I think I know her.

We cut all contact with the family since the last meeting of our DDs about 4 years ago. Sorry you're living next door to her.

saffy85 · 06/05/2011 22:10

Actually what others have said. I wouldn't want this nasty little horror anywhere near my kids.

As for her mother, why do some parents do this? When their child's behaviour stinks, act all calmly and when lets face it, they should be reading them the riot act. Or worse they excuse the behaviour Hmm

Being spirited and full of life does not equal being a rude bugger, stealing and trying to get other children into trouble.

weirdbird · 08/05/2011 01:15

Do let us know how you get on!

AlmightyCitrus · 08/05/2011 13:23

Well, as you ask! Last night the kids came in. Neighbour had been a bit of a PITA, but no more than usual. About 10 minutes later the wailing next door started. Girl was screaching "but I NEEEEED to go and talk to [DD2 name] I neeeeeeeed to go, I want to". etc....
Mum was very calm saying no, its too late, they've gone in, but after about 20 minutes of it (and me and DH rolling our eyes at each other) she must of given in, and.....knock knock at the door. She didn't really want anything important, she just didn't want to go in.

I've explained to DD2 that as superbrat obviously has no concept of the word NO and her mother is unable to control her behaviour DD2 herself is going to have to teach her. Don't back down, don't let her nag you into doing something you don't want to do, just say NO. If she kicks off, then ignore her.

OP posts:
Bloodymary · 08/05/2011 14:04

Have only just come across this thread, THAT SINGING, my palms would have been itching Blush
I would have had to frogmarch her out of the door I am afraid.
Little brat.

takethisonehereforastart · 08/05/2011 21:56

She sounds awful (although in a weird way I feel a very little bit sorry for her because her mother and grandparents are allowing her to behave this way and making her worse, setting her up for a very hard life of being disliked by just about everyone).

But just because her mother can't handle her it doesn't mean you or your children have to suffer.

Could you or your DH go and tell the mother that you heard the argument and didn't appreciate her being allowed to come round after your children were in for the night and you don't want it to happen again? And tell her you don't want to be disturbed before X time in the morning either.

And tell your daughter that all she has to do is say "I'm not going to play with you while you are doing/saying this, I don't want to do it/don't like it" and walk away or come inside.

That song is appalling and I'm afraid she would have been out of my house right then and there and never allowed back in. She sounds like something from a horror film singing that. [shocked]

Pixieonthemoor · 08/05/2011 22:11

That song she sang behind your back has just wiped out any sympathy I had for the little brat!! Am I right in thinking that the early morning calls are the thing that is the most annoying at the mo (esp as your children sound like they have sussed that her behaviour is vile)? Here is what I suggest 1) tell the brat in no uncertain terms not to call so early 2) do this in front of her mother or speak to the mother separately and 3) if she carries on, which we all suspect she will, may I suggest a large bucket of water at the ready? If there is no window above your door then you may just have to open the door and drown her. It wont actually hurt in any way but surely must drive the point home. Repeat as necessary.

AlmightyCitrus · 09/05/2011 01:08

I wouldn't say the early morning calls are the most annoying. The worst thing is that she is totally unavoidable. If we leave the house she comes bouncing out wanting to know where we are going, and when we get home she's there wanting to know where we have been.

I don't really want to fall out with her mum. Despite appearances she is a very nice woman, just a bit misguided when it comes to her DD.
Although DC4 isn't too far away now, so I might change my mind after a few sleep deprived nights.

The "song" does still bother me a bit, even though it was a few weeks ago.

OP posts:
RunsWithScissors · 09/05/2011 08:59

This really needs to be sorted soon with a new baby on the way.

Tell the mom either she gets tough with her DD or you will.

Seriously, tell the little girl and mom together that next time she shows up at the door at unreasonable times she will be met with a bucket of cold water. She has been warned, her choice if she believes you.

(ok, now I'm BU, but wow... I couldn't have been that nice for so long).

killingTime · 09/05/2011 12:40

I don't really want to fall out with her mum

I think that is what she is relying on. Its easier for her to give into her DD even when she knows she shouldn't and let her DC bother you inappropriately because she knows you will not be irate at her. I image if she had to deal with you reading her the riot act she'd probably last out a bit longer with her DD.

FlamingFannyDrawers · 09/05/2011 12:58

Wow I think i'd move house to be honest. Firstly, maybe try throwing some Holy Water over her then call in a Priest to perform an exorcism. If that fails maybe an electric fence round the perimeter of the garden.

I really don't know. If her parents don't seem to bothered about her behaviour and don't seem to be listening to you then I think you just have to be firm. It's a tough one.

puddingface · 09/05/2011 13:05

next time she knocks the door too early/late get husband to blast an air horn out the letter box lol

just be firm in telling her NO
when she ask where your going/been just say OUT (nosey little shit)
when she throws tantrums get your kids away from her
hopefully she will learn her behaviour is unacceptable

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