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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with this mum

26 replies

wotnochocs · 06/05/2011 17:31

To invite DD round for a sleepover and not mention that sibling has chickenpox.DD climbed in car with her friend and friend's younger sister.Just seen she has posted on FB 6 hours ago that sibling has chicken pox.
Sleepover is child's b/day treat, but my DD hasn't had it and has her own party arranged in 2 weeks, which is about the incubation period.
AIBU to think the mum should have mentioned it and let me the one to choose whether to expose DD or not.

OP posts:
NellieForbush · 06/05/2011 17:32

YANBU. We have just avoided a house with a chicken pox outbreak as we're going on holiday next week. She is rude to not mention is so you can decide.

TheOriginalFAB · 06/05/2011 17:33

YANBU but why haven't you gone and got her back?

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/05/2011 17:33

Yanbu. She probably wrongly assumed that your dd has had it.

bubblecoral · 06/05/2011 17:33

Is your dd still there? I'd be on my way round there to collect her straight away, even if it is too late.

valiumredhead · 06/05/2011 17:34

I'd go and collect her!

Jaspants · 06/05/2011 17:35

YANBU I'd hotfoot it over to collect your DD IIWY

JamieAgain · 06/05/2011 17:43

Maybe she assumed your DD has had it, but yes, I'm very surprised she didn't mention it

elmofan · 06/05/2011 17:47

YANBU - But i reckon it's too late as your DD has been exposed to the virus now Sad She is more than likely going to get it < speaks from experience>

Northernlurker · 06/05/2011 17:50

Yes she should have asked but it's too late to do anything now. If she's going to get it she will.

QuackQuackBoing · 06/05/2011 17:55

Silly woman! Are you going to have to cancel the party?

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2011 18:01

yanbu! i presume you've been and collected her already?

RJRabbit · 06/05/2011 18:02

Oh fgs! What a cow! Have you said anything on her Facebook?

Bizkit · 06/05/2011 18:06

YANBU, I'd be just a tad annoyed I think!!

startail · 06/05/2011 18:19

YANBU, Having had chicken pox as an adult I can assure you it is far better for your DD to get it as a child. But friends Mum should have given you the choice.
Apart from your DD's party, chicken pox is an absolute no no for flying, not nice if your pregnant and dangerous to people with depressed imune systems, so you could have lots of reasons to need to know.
(We went to visit spotty cousins in the holidays and their Dad made sure we knew and that everyone had had it).

ItsCHEEKYTime · 06/05/2011 18:42

I would be annoyed. But then i have a child who hasnt had it yet and i know my cousins little girl has it, my other cousins son was with her weeks beofre she got it and when she broke out in the spots (they babysit each others kids whilst the other works) Im thinking of taking DS2 round to see if he gets them lol

Original poster
wotnochocs · 06/05/2011 18:49

I haven't collected her because by now she will already have spent an hour enclosed in a car with this child (they were going horseriding first) so she will have it by now if she is going to get it.
Yes I will have to cancel her party if she comes down with it

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/05/2011 18:55

I believe that chicken pox is at its most infectious before the spots come out, so maybe your dd won't get it, wotnochocs. But it was very unreasonable indeed of the other mum not to tell you that the little one had chicken pox - what if you were pregnant, or there was a family member who was immuno-compromised - it could be very serious indeed.

And even if none of those apply, it is still not reasonable to expose a child to an infection that is, at best, very unpleasant, not to mention disruptive for the whole family (because it is very infectious, iirc), but which can, at worst, be fatal.

elmofan · 06/05/2011 18:55

It took exactly 14 days for my ds to catch it from dd , ds is just getting over it now . DD had the spots for three weeks .
I think you should say something to the mum when you pick your dd up , she should have forewarned you .

Jenstar21 · 06/05/2011 19:11

She might not get it.... I lived in a house with my brother who had chickenpox when we were younger, and didn't catch it. I then caught it a year later from a school friend! But, yes, I do agree YANBU. She should have told you.

PicaK · 06/05/2011 20:40

Maybe the sibling is at the crusted-over no longer infectious stage - being charitable here.

I really hope u don't have to cancel.

xstitch · 06/05/2011 20:46

YANBU, the other mum should have given you the information to then let you decide. I would be tempted to make a comment on FB to that effect.

YellowDinosaur · 06/05/2011 21:16

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing tbh. Maybe as PicaK says the sibling is already at the crusted over stage. Or maybe just before she posted on facebook (after she picked your dd up) she noticed the first spot so hadn't deliberately not told you.

If she didn't tell you on purpose then she is outof order for all the other reasons already listed on this thread

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/05/2011 21:47

My dd caught chicken pox when she was in Year 1 and nearly 6 years old (she caught it from her nearly 3 years younger brother). She was one of the last of her peer group to get it, infact I can't think of a single child who was her age who hadn't had it by the time she got it.

If your dd is invited for a sleepover I assume she is at least 6 years old? Am sure the other mum just misguidedly thought your dd would have already had it. Don't go in all guns blazing until you know the full picture.

saffy85 · 06/05/2011 21:55

YANBU Should have been mentioned to you before your DD went round there. Some people just do not think.

zukiecat · 06/05/2011 23:37

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