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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH hasn't voted

27 replies

norwegianwood · 05/05/2011 21:48

DH has just walked in from work. I asked him if he had voted and he said no. He had all morning to vote, and now has half an hour till they close so could still make it. But he can't be bothered
The thing is he is incredibly vocal about politics, has very strong opinions and is normally very condescending about people who don't vote. I can't believe he hasn't voted.
We are having a few problems at the moment and in my mind this is just adding to it. I know that sounds OTT but it seems symtomatic (sp) of his apathy to everything.
Does this make sense?

OP posts:
peeriebear · 05/05/2011 21:53

I didn't vote because I tore up by card thinking it was something else (I had my stupid head on). Does your DH consider this an important thing to vote on or does he not care this time?

KnittingRocks · 05/05/2011 21:55

peerie, you don't need your card to vote - you just turn up, give them your name and vote.

norwegian, it would really annoy me too but whether it's symptomtic of something bigger for you I don't know. Next time he spouts of about politics just point out that he's no right to an opinion as he opted out when he couldn't be arsed to vote.

Honeydragon · 05/05/2011 21:56

you shouldn't need your card to vote..... quick run you have 20 min Grin

KnittingRocks · 05/05/2011 21:56

off not of Blush

Original poster
norwegianwood · 05/05/2011 21:56

Well the way he has been spouting for the last few weeks years about politics I am surprised he wasn't there first thing at the polling station.
If he was truly apathetic about voting maybe it wouldn't bother me so much. But he has a real passion bashing MPs/voting system and like I said that coupled with other problems at the moment - I sadly feel I have lost some respect for him.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 05/05/2011 22:00

don't see the problem. It's his right to vote or not, he can exercise it as he pleases.

Original poster
norwegianwood · 05/05/2011 22:01

Knittingrocks - I told him that if I ever hear him say anything that is to do with politics then I don't want to know. He has lost the right to moan.
I guess I'm worried over reacting because a big part of our relationship is/was his passion for some things but a big negative was his apathy to other things. yet it all seems to be ending up in the "I don't care camp".
It seems so trivial written down..

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 05/05/2011 22:04

Mine hasnt voted.. mainly because he got absolutely hammered this afternoon and is in a drunken coma on the bed Grin

Original poster
norwegianwood · 05/05/2011 22:04

mayorquimby - I would agree with you if he was apathetic generally. But he isn't.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 05/05/2011 22:06

"Next time he spouts of about politics just point out that he's no right to an opinion as he opted out when he couldn't be arsed to vote."

Many people seem to hold this opinion or variations of it (you have no right to complain/an opinion) but it's not one I've ever agreed with. You can express an opinion that you will have less time for the opinions of those who did not vote or that you think they are hypocritical, but not that they have 'no right to an opinion.'
Surely this logic could be used against anyone who voted for the party in power or a particular voting system when they result in certain negative consequences. i.e well you have no right to complain/an opinion you voted for this.

mayorquimby · 05/05/2011 22:07

But it may not be apathy. It may be a conscious decision to not vote. nothing wrong with that.

freddy05 · 05/05/2011 22:07

If there's noone he wants to vote for why should he bother wasting his time going? We all have the right to vote but we are under no obligation to vote if there is nobody to vote for.

McDreamy · 05/05/2011 22:08

Neither has mine but in his defence he has pretty horrendous diarrhoea so I'll let it got this time! Sad

DiscoDaisy · 05/05/2011 22:13

I went to vote but as there was nobody I wanted to vote for I spoilt my ballot paper for the first time ever. If I hadn't wanted to vote in the AV referendum I wouldn't have bothered going at all yet again for the first time ever.

mayorquimby · 05/05/2011 22:14

I've spoilt my vote on several occassions

Choufleur · 05/05/2011 22:15

Tell him he has no right to moan when he doesn't like political decisions now.

beachyhead · 05/05/2011 22:18

We are only voting on AV here and dh doesn't really understand or have a view, so I voted and he didn't... he would normally and I would normally nag him, but I couldn't be bothered to explain AV Smile

Bogeyface · 05/05/2011 22:25

I can see your concern. If he has always been so vocal about voting and politics and he has now lost all interest, on top of his other problems could be indicative of something more serious.

I know that when I have had depression the first thing that has happened has been a total lack of interest in anything that previously ignited passion or excitement in me. Maybe worth considering?

My DH hasnt voted either btw, but while it really annoys me, he has always been a bit CBA about politics and voting so no change for him!

Original poster
norwegianwood · 05/05/2011 22:31

No he definitely has an opinion on who to vote for, it was sheer laziness that stopped him by his own admission.
Thankyou Bogey face - it is odd for him not to vote. I just feel as though I have lost some respect for him. I know that sounds harsh but .. but.. this general apathy is starting to seep into so many aspects of our life.

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 05/05/2011 22:46

Disco daisy I so wish I'd spoilt my paper I had a con ukip or con choice So no choice at all.

Pah still seething many hours later.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 05/05/2011 22:48

NW- this is not really an IABU situstion as it sounds like things go much much deeper than the vote.

Are things at the point of GP referal or relationship counseling?

AnnieBesant · 05/05/2011 22:52

To people who get cross at there being no-one to vote for - it is very easy to stand for election yourself, in local elections anyway.

I would be cross too I think OP. It matters to me that DH shares my principles, and exercising the right to vote is right up there. DH made in back with 10 minutes to spare!

xstitch · 05/05/2011 22:54

OP when I read your post I thought what bogey said.

theinet · 05/05/2011 22:57

peeriebear you can still vote without your polling card (obviously if you ripped up your postal card it is a different matter though i guess if you had time you could have asked for a new one)

KnittingRocks · 06/05/2011 18:17

Annie, I'm pretty sure you have to pay a deposit to stand for election, no?

I don't agree mayor - at least if you've voted you've shown you've taken an interest and made the effort, doesn't mean you have to agree with everything your party/candidate of choice does. I hear people saying "politics has nothing to do with me" then in the nxt breath complaining about the price of petrol or something Hmm.