to tell DH that he is getting a bit podgy?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I think he knows he has put on weight as he has been unable to exercise lately following a broken ankle. However he is still piling his plate full of grub even though I have said a few times that his portions are too big. He is getting a huge double chin & belly that I can't keep my eyes off!

What should I do? AIBU to tell him straight that he has def put on weight or should I continue the round about comments? Not sure how I'd feel if he told me I was putting on weight but I think I'd appreciate it if I didn't realise (as long as it was said in a nice way though!).

I think you should tell him, or at least begin to be gradually less subtle. He may be offended, but I think it shows you care about him.

why not just feed him less, and cut the calories, without saying anything...

Tell him that before you know it you won't be able to have proper sex it just be him rolling on and rolling off.

Sorry, but I cannot abide a fat man, I had one (he wasn't like that when I married him), and it totally turned me off and we divorced, his belly was 9 months pregnant.

How much weight do you reckon he's gained?

Can he still fit into his clothes? If not, that should be the big 'red flag' to alert him - and you wouldn't have to say anything.

How long ago did he break his ankle, and when should he be able to exercise again?

Final question - did he exercise previously to keep weight off, or to keep fit (or a bit of both)?

Give him a break. If he's had a broken ankle and couldn't excercise he'll probably sort it out when he's fully fit again. I don't think round about comments are necessary either. I'm sure he knows he's put on weight.

If a man posted this about his DW there would be uproar.

I wouldn't say it, ever.

I don't believe it's the best way to encourage someone to lose weight. I believe it knocks confidence and makes most people feel rubbish.

Might depend on the individual person, I spose.

His clothes are very snug though still fit. He still goes out on his bike so can do some exercise. He does all the cooking & serves up his own portions so I can't change that, whenever I have tried to get him to cut down the portions he'll say he needs it all cos he has been cycling...

Is he eating the same size portions as before his injury?

Yes. He used to go out running every few days but can't now due to injury.

Fabbychic-not too shallow are you?

My dh is a big man, he's not icky, in fact he's bloody fab.

Oh and our three dc's prove that we can have "proper sex"

yabu - just because you are injured and can't exercise as much does not mean that you are not hungry.

the injury is temporary and i'm sure he'll be back to running so there's no need for him to suffer going hungry now to learn how to permanently eat less.

my DP told me i'd put on weight, and ribbed me about it mercilessly. It worked and i started exercising and lost the weight. so i would say something. being fat is unnecessary and unhealthy.

I put on weight after I had my first DC because I was unable to exercise as I had been before. I would not have appreciated being told I was getting fat. Give him a break, he has had a broken ankle and is doing what exercise he can! If his clothes still fit he cannot have put on that much. Try and be supportive.

I have seen numerous threads on here when a woman has been called fat by her DP following pregnancy/illness/turning 30 and rarely are these women told to get over it, it was for their own good and they do need to lose the weight.

I would say something too...but nicely obviously.

i'd give him a break until he's fully recovered from his broken ankle. then you could drop into the conversation that you've been thinking about getting fitter, maybe you could do it together, egg each other on, etc. even if you haven't, it will only do you good, and it's kinder that an 'oi, tubby! sort it aaaht!'

oh dear, very nearly [groin]ed then!

How different would this thread be if it was a man telling a woman she was getting fat no matter how nicely it was said....