Ok settle in this is a long one... 3 years ago we decided we would like to be closer to my family for the children so we uprooted from London and started looking for a house. The Market was rubbish and whilst we were looking my Nan offered to let us have her house and she would move in with my mum. My nan is widowed and was getting so lonely (she would cry every time we left) she also couldn't look after the house or herself so my mum was looking after everything for her. They had already discussed selling her house but this seemed to be a solution. So we spent a lot of our savings doing it up- even during this period she started having difficulty letting things go. A lot of her stuff is here in the attic. I expected her to struggle with the change but it's now turned into a really ugly situation. Within a few months of us moving in she started staying over more and more, then she moved back into her old room. I don't mind at all as she loved the children and i felt she could still live as she had. But she goes through real spouts of depression and lashes out at my family, she also flips out at anything I change. I'm walking on eggshells all the time, dd2 was born this year. She had IU growth restriction and was prem so extra tiny. I spent 6 weeks going to the hospital to see her. Her IUGR was caused by a virus reactivating in me early in pregnancy, I was tested and virus reactivation is linked to stress, it may have been work but home life had been strained due to her meltdowns. Recently she went mad because I painted a cupboard- this led to her asking us to move out. Fair enough it's her house but I feel guilty that my mum will have to look after everything again.
Aibu to feel that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't move out?