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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be nervous about allowing my 7yo to bike to school.

62 replies

MMQC · 05/05/2011 10:47

My son is 7 next week and is getting a new bike for his birthday. He's very excited and wants to use it to bike to school.

We're about a mile from school, with all bar about 100 yards or so on paths across the countryside. He is unlikely to meet another soul until he gets to the road.

He currently goes to school on the bus, so there's no extra convenience to allowing him to go by bike. It would only be sometimes anyway, in good weather, etc.

I can't ride a bike, so couldn't go with him. My husband is happy to go with him the first couple of times to make sure he's OK.

Would you let him go? I feel very nervous about the whole prospect, but don't know if I'm being sensibly cautious or wrapping him in cotton wool.

OP posts:
FurKnickersAndNoCoat · 05/05/2011 10:48

if it was me - NO. not at 7. just my opinion.

ChippingIn · 05/05/2011 10:51

I can understand why you are nervous - new things can be nerve wracking.

I wouldn't let them around here (too much traffic) but it sounds fine where you are.

I would tell him that it's up to Daddy, if Daddy thinks he can do it safely then fine. I would also add that if you hear he has done x,y or z he wont be allowed to do it anymore (whatever x y z are for you - like if he has to cross in a certain place, walk not ride in a certain spot etc).

I presume the school is fine with it? Around here you still have to deliver & collect 7 year olds, they wont let them out of the classroom without an adult to pick them up.

pjmama · 05/05/2011 10:52

Honestly, no I wouldn't. I know there are lots of good reasons to allow it, giving him a bit of freedom and independence etc. But only just 7 still seems very young to me and I just don't think I could bring myself to do it. For me, tootling off alone on a bike is very different to being on a bus with other school children and an adult driver taking them from door to door.

I'm sure plenty may disagree and have good reasons for doing so, but I just don't think I could be comfortable with it.

bruffin · 05/05/2011 10:54

DCs' old primary school they are not allowed to ride their bikes to school by themselves until they have passed their cycling proficiency test. Basically this means they can't leave their bikes on school property during that time, so an adult needs to be with them to take bike home again.
I am not the overcautious type but wouldn't have let my dcs go that distance to school by bike, by themselves at that age.

Rosebud05 · 05/05/2011 10:54

If you did learn to ride a bike, would going with him fit into your routine/be possible? If so, this is what I'd do or take up jogging so that you can go with him if that's a realistic option.

Otherwise, I would sadly say that 7 is too young. Is the 100 yards or so along/near a road? Then he's too young to successfully judge speed/distance of vehicles and manouvre his bike I would say. Ditto farm or other country vehicles.

You're being sensibly cautious. Especially thinking ahead to winter months.

jimswifein1964 · 05/05/2011 10:59

No way would I let my 7 yr old, but then , I can only think in terms of what it's like here, not where you live! And I guess he goes on the bus alone anyway - which I also wouldnt let a 7yr old do here.

Any reason why you cant just get on a bike yourself?

valiumredhead · 05/05/2011 11:01

Not at 7, no, when they have done their cycling course at 10 ish then yes.

titchy · 05/05/2011 11:02

Not at 7 no. What if he falls off and breaks a leg. You said he'd be unlikely to meet another soul. I'd leave it another couple of years tbh, and then make sure he had a mobile with him.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/05/2011 11:05

I am in two minds about this. I think I'd be OK but worried about the last 100 yards, but only if my DD was wearing a helmet and reflective jacket.
Her and DH rode their bikes to school for two days last week. She was with him both days, there are cylcle lanes all the way and cyclists rule the world here. I was terrified something would happen to her though.

diddl · 05/05/2011 11:10

We´re in Germany with cycle paths, & here they are allowed to bike alone in year 3.
Bearing in mind that they start school at 6yrs old.

7 does sound young to me tbh.

If there´s no reason for you not to get a bike & take him then I´d do that!

roadkillbunny · 05/05/2011 11:10

I am pretty lax and we to are in a rural area but I would not be happy with a 7 year old riding to school alone, neither would the school. Our school only allows children who have done there proficiency test (done in years 5 and 6) to bike to school with out an adult (although unless the child tells them they have no real way of policing this, at this time of year most of the school rides a bike to school and as children go straight into class they don't have know how the child arrived).
Stick with the bus for a few more years.

Original poster
MMQC · 05/05/2011 11:13

Thanks for your input. I feel suitably vindicated in being concerned. My husband seems to think there's no issue.

My main worry would be that he came off the bike and hurt himself. But he's too young for a mobile. We have walkie-talkies, though, that would reach ....

I hadn't considered that the school may not allow him. I'd need to look into that too.

While I say he currently goes on the bus, it's a designated school minibus that picks him and his sister up from our drive and deposits them at school. There is no real autonomy involved.

I may let him go in with his daddy a couple of times and hope the novelty wears off!

I appreciate all your thoughts. I just can't help thinking, though, that a generation back nobody would even have given it a second thought. And he would have been just fine.

OP posts:
prettybird · 05/05/2011 11:23

Ds is 10 and has been cycling to school for 2 years (on and off initially, but every day when the weather is not icy suitable since the school got a bike shed 1.5 years ago). Even though I am normally extremely vociferous about giving kids independence, he has only recently been allowed to cycle to school on his own. He has to do one right turn on very quiet, wide, speed calmed street, one reasonably busy road to cross but with a lollipop man, another right turn - but where he has to give way and it is a quiet street outside a primary school, then a left turn to wards the school. I am confident that he is safe at the time he does this. The first couple of time he did it on his own, we followed him surreptitiously to check he was following our rules and being careful.

However at going home time, there are too many cars around doing silly things - and he still hasn't shown that he can judge for himself how to position himself on the road for the right turn close to the school (where there are also double parked cars outside a wee Spar). Until he can demonstrate better judgement, dh or I have to go an pick him up.

Only you know what the last 100 yards is like - but even if it is really quiet, I'd cycle with him for at least a month to see what his judgement is like. So either learn yourself or your dh has to commit to a longer period accompanying him. While you are cycling with him, you can also talk to him about how a cyclist should behave on a road (be confident and claim our "own" space in the road, don't hug the kerb, stay too close to parked cars because they can open their doors, never trust a car even if you think they've seen you.......) - things he needs to know about before he is "let loose".

You also need to think about what might happen on those paths and would he be able to cope if, for example, he fell or his chain came off or he got a puncture. Is he capable of locking the bike up for himself at school? It's not like walking on his own - he is responsible for the bike as well.

gawdblimey · 05/05/2011 11:27

having just seen a bicycle under the wheels of a lorry this morning :(

and the feeling i will always remember seeing a bike lying in the road outside my kids school (they biked to school) and I thought it might be them

I would say 7 is too young

Takver · 05/05/2011 11:31

I'm going to go against the grain here, and say that given that it is all off road I would consider it BUT only on condition that someone cycled with him a good lot of times first, and that he got off and pushed his bike the 100 yards that was on the road.

Of course it depends whether your ds is likely to stick to that - I know dd would, because she's easy to scare innately cautious, but I know some children wouldn't.

(I remember one mother from dd's school lurking in an alley way near our house for several days at the start of the term to check that her ds did get off and push his bike across our road as he was meant to - you could always set up a friend to watch out or something like that.)

As an alternative, could your DH cycle with him sometimes when he isn't in a rush in the mornings - I think it is fantastic that your ds wants to cycle, and its good to encourage him while he's keen.

Takver · 05/05/2011 11:32

Actually, I've just realised that he's only just about to be 7. I think that really is a bit young - was thinking of a 7-going-on-8 year old. Could you walk whilst he cycles? (Of course with him stopping and waiting for you to catch up!)

prettybird · 05/05/2011 11:35

Ditto Takver - I too was assuming a 7 going on 8 year old teaches me to read the OP properly

Fine to be accompanied, but not at all sure about cycling on his own. Give him a year of doing it on occasion with his dad to develop his confidence and then think about.

Sportsmum · 05/05/2011 11:36

I would get DC to do a cycling proficiency course before going out on the road with the bike. I would tend to agree that 7 is too young. Furthermore, whilst you may have a very mature and trustworthy child who you consider safe - I simply don't trust other motorists. Just seen a dreadful display of driving from an idiot overtaking a learner that was turning left up a hill (his right of way) other numnut turning right from opposite direction up same hill drove up the wrong side of the road to beat and overtake the learner... it anyone had been coming down the hill - they wouldn't have stood a chance. Numnut couldn't see what was coming...

prettybird · 05/05/2011 11:36

Also gives you time to learn yourself! Grin

canihavemypocketmoney · 05/05/2011 11:39

we're just over a mile from school too. my seven year old sometimes cycles but I walk or jog along a distance behind him. can you do that ?

JemimaMop · 05/05/2011 11:39

No, not on his own.

My boys are almost 7 and almost 9 and I let them walk or cycle to school together (rural area) but don't like them walking alone and certainly wouldn't let them cycle alone.

What if your DS fell off and hurt himself? Who would know? At least if he had a friend or sibling with him they could run for help.

valiumredhead · 05/05/2011 11:39

I think if you think he's too young for a mobile then he's too young to be doing it.

ScousyFogarty · 05/05/2011 11:44

mmqc. Its a toughie. Plenty of training first

JemimaMop · 05/05/2011 11:46

Not sure about that valium, I don't intend letting mine have mobiles until they go to secondary school but I'm sure I will let them cycle to school alone once they are in year 5 or 6.

Fennel · 05/05/2011 11:47

It seems a bit young to me, mine have cycled to school from 4+ but with us, which is quite different.
I wouldn't worry about them falling off, children don't break that easily, but roads and small children on bikes are a problem. Not many 7yos, even the sensible ones, are really that brilliant at road awareness.

Let him cycle away from the roads at weekends for now. and give it a year or two and see how sensible he is. I still track my dc sometimes to check their road sense. Which comes and goes rather.

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