soooo scared of Relate..

[Flojo1979]

Well tonight is the night, after 12 months of constant bickering, on off on off, i finally told him (ok so i'd told him a million times b4) that this is it, i'm thro, i cant take anymore, ITS OVER.
To which he suddenly changes his tune and becomes all apologetic and sickly nice.
He has asked me to go to Relate, to which i agree and am now regretting. I know its not all his fault and i have issues (usually PMT style tantrums!) so i was initially hoping nice relate lady would explain to him why we r better off over and perhaps help me in dealing with men in general better.
Clearly my DP...ex?! Argghhh, whatever he is, is thinking shes gonna wave a magic wand and all will be fine.
I'm trying to go with an open mind and if she can wave such a wand then maybe i can work it out with DP.
Now the appointment is at 5.45pm today, and i have no idea what to expect and have got the collywobbles...

best of luck, if you BOTH want to work it out surely its worth a try?

it will involve total honesty and compromise on both sides

I think too many couples throw in the towel too readily TBH, and dont even try to work things through

have you seen the Gp for help with the PMT?

your bound to be nervous so don't be beating yourself up about feeling apprehensive. it IS about total honesty and the counsellor will not take any sides even if it is obvious that one party is doing more/less than the other. the very best of luck. do give it a try if you both want to work it out.

Keep an open mind.

If there is any part of you that wishes you and DH could work things out and make it better so you can stay together, then it's got to be worth a try.

If you've already made up your mind that you no longer want to be with him, then the counsellor will also be able to help manage you both through that transition.

Either way, Relate can play a positive role in getting you both through this one way or another.

As for what to expect, the first session will be mostly just the counsellor listening to you both and assessing the situation in order to decide and recommend what route your counselling should take in order to help you. Nothing scary.

you BOTH need to want it to work else it is doomed to fail

I worked in Relate for 5 years and I have also been there as a client and I would say that it definitely helps the vast majority of people who go there. There is nothing at all to be afraid of. Today will just be taking some general details about you both and your situation so nothing at all scary. You will either be able to sort your differences out or find a way of ending things and hopefully be able to do this as amicably as possible. Better than carrying on the way you are.

Thanx. I'm not even sure where to start, i think thats the trouble, i get it straight in my mind thinking i'll say one thing then i think no actually its this, but i guess thats the whole reason we r going cos neither of us knows what the problem is really, all we know is we cant seem to agree on much these days and it's turned in to a knee jerk reaction, if one says white then the other deliberately says black, regardless of what they really think and not neccessarily on a deliberate concious level but its just how it is.