To want video of me being assaulted?

[IfYouCouldCCTVMeNow]

(Have name changed for this as don't want anyone who recognises me to know my usual name.)

Earlier in the year I (rather stupidly in hindsight) apprehended a shoplifter leaving our local shop. I was with my 4yo and he knocked her over. Shoplifter then assaulted me pretty viciously - grabbed me round throat, slammed my head against a van, threw me onto the road, stamped on my face and ran off.

Police attended, took a statement from me, witnesses, and CCTV from the shop. The shoplifter has been caught, convicted and is in prison now. I didn't have to go to court - in fact I didn't even know it was going to court, I just got a phone call afterwards.

I am glad it has all been dealt with legally but I feel at a bit of a loss myself - like its a bit surreal. I truly feared for my life during the attack but whats really playing on my mind is what did DD see of it? She was v upset and does talk about it now and then and I think we are all handling it ok, have spoken to HV etc.

I really want to get hold of the CCTV - the police, court, offender, offenders family in court, you name it, EVERYONE ELSE has watched it and I haven't seen it. I think I should get a copy of it. It sort of happened in the shop doorway and on the road outside and I want to work out what DD saw and what she didn't see from the angles involved.

So AIBU for wanting a copy of the CCTV? Does anyone know if I am legally entitled to it? DH is a police officer but obviously can't get involved in a case that involves his wife, and I don't want him to get in bother at work by me kicking up a fuss. But its slowly doing my head in...

Can you not ask if you can just watch it at the Police station? Having a copy to watch at home might be upsetting. I'm glad the person is behind bars it sounds like a really nasty attack, poor you x x

When I first read this I thought you meant he had made a video and put it on youtube or something.

I think you could ask don't see why not

Do you think you would benefit from talking to someone at Victim Support? Sounds like you might, also they would know this, and be able to discuss whether, if it is possible, it would help you to move on from this.

People are, I believe, entitled to see CCTV that they feature in. But is it really going to help you move on from this horrid assault or just make you relive it again and again? This time with the potentially unhelpful element of complete accuracy.

I think you need to let it go, you risk PTSD if you were to see it and do you really need a mental illness? Your daughter has probably forgotten the events of that day now and it is better left in the past.

oh yes, i totally get this. i was attacked many years ago and it happens so fast and its such a shock i always wished i had a video of it so i could see what really happened. even though i was there. that feeling of surreality, i hated it.

i am sure you must be able to see it, but i dont know how you would go about it.

good luck :)

Are you sure you want to see it? I would consider speaking to a counsellor of some sort before making a final decision. You must have been through an awful time.

Fabbychic. OP stated her DD talked about it still, so she hasn't forgotten.

And the OP has the memories of this event playing on her mind so why would CCTV trigger off PTSD.

I'm sure she understands herself what is the best course
Of action to put her mind at rest.

YANBU if it helps you clear things up OP, ask the police or victi
Support, I think it's a perfectly normal request.

yes, and i think seeing it on video would have validated the experience in some way, like, yes it really really did happen. here is proof. because for ages i battled with giving my feelings about the episode any credence. it was like it didint really happen to me, but i was living with the results of it.

or something like that. but as you say prolesworth, its an individual thing.

I think you need to talk to victim support, I'm sure they will have dealt with stuff like this before.

It might be better if you could see it in a controled environment rather than have a copy to wath over and over though, or have someone else see it whom you trust that could give you an answer to your question.

Do you really think it would help for you to know exactly what your dd saw? Surely you would deal with it in the same way with her whatever she saw? She knows you were attacked, I'm not sure that there would be any realy benefit for her if you were to see the video. Although of course I realise that there may be things I'm unaware of.

I can understand them not wanting to give you a copy. They probably have to protect the identity of other people that would have been captured on film too.

Thanks all. I really do definately want to see it. Frikonastick sorry this has happened to you. Thanks for understanding me.

DD has asked about parts of it and mentioned other parts, and I want to know what she really saw and what she heard people talking about. I don't think she could have seen the stamping from where she was, but I want to be 100% sure of this, as she has asked about what happened during that time and I played that part of it down.

There are some really specific points I go over in my head and I want to see them 'for real'. I also hate that loads of other people have watched it and not me, it makes me feel a bit unimportant.

Victim Support have been in touch, thanks for the suggestion. I think that might be what I do next.

x-posted with other replies. Prolesworth I am sorry for your experience too.

FabbyChic I think I'd be more worried about DD if she couldn't remember it - seriously how do you think someone would just forget something as scary as seeing your mum attacked?

youre welcome :) and youre not alone, a freind of mine was very badly attacked and badly hurt and she doesnt remember alot of what happened and she says the same thing as me, she bloody wishes there was a video!

both incidences were a long time ago though, and we are both recovered. good wishes on yours

As someone who has been on the receiving end of a violent git myself I can completely understand why you want to do this. Good luck with it all.

You could possibly contact your local council if it was public space cctv, then fill in a data protection request form however if it was more than thirty days ago they might not have it. You could then contact the Procurator Fiscal (CPS in England) or the police directly and ask them to view it.

I am sorry this has happened to you and your daughter and it sounds horrendous.

I am not totally sure that would help you, as it could bring it all back, but with even more clarity, BUT I can completely understand why you want to, and how it will help to know what your daughter saw. Would it be possible to speak to Victim Support and ask them to look at it from that angle on your behalf first and then let you know.

Just popping back to say thanks before I change back to my normal name.

I appreciate all the replies, the more I have thought about it the more I am convinced it will help rather than hinder. I'm the sort of control freak person who likes to have every single detail about things. Found out I can go and watch it at the police station so will make arrangements.

Thanks again.