Name changer because includes financial stuff. Red rug, pouch of douglas, Judge Flounce and so on....
DH has two brothers. Each married with kids. SIL1 has three children aged 16 and over. SIL2 has 2 children under 10. DH and I have three children under 8.
PILs are fantastically generous and as a way of sharing assets/inheritance tax issues they passed a substantial sum of money to the three brothers. And paid off mortgages. This is context - that money not especially tight.
Got text from SIL today to say from now on she and DH's brother (so yes, agree he is part and parcel of the request, just he is being more low profile) would like not to give any adults and children christmas and birthday presents. Wants to do cards only. 2 of her children have 18 and 21st birthdays coming up next year.
I am really rather taken aback because
- it feels a little as if we have bought presents very happily for all 3 of her kids for the last 20 years (in respect of eldest at least) and now none of the younger cousins will have presents at Christmas or birthdays from that branch of the family.
- this follows DH being told by his mother that he'd forgotten eldest niece's birthday last month - present was 2 days late because waiting on delivery. Message passed to DH via MIL.
- is hard to explain to dcs that "look at the lovely card from Uncle X and Aunt Y, isn't it nice that we don't buy them presents and they don't buy us presents any more". They won't really 'get' it.
- we had an unspoken limit of about £15 per child. Not especially extravagant. So given that we know they were given a very very large amount of money and have no mortgage, I fail to see how stopping buying all the younger nieces and nephews presents is going to make a dent in their budget.
Incidentally I come from a family where once you hit 21, that's it for sibling presents. I don't buy my brothers presents and vice versa. So have no issue at all with no present swapping between adults.
DH and I just feel a bit put out (incidentally, so does dh's other brother). It also follows DH checking whether we were sharing easter eggs with each others children, to be told yes - so we bought their teenage dcs one each, and none have come back in return. Our dcs have not noticed and am not bothered but is the principle.
So AWBU to be miffed? Not massively - just in a "the cheek of it" kind of way????