or is it very easy to send one text message within a three week period?

[smileyfacestar]

I'm just checking what people think about this.

My daughter had a birthday party last Sat and I gave out invitations to her whole nursery class on the Monday before they broke up for Easter hols.

There are over 30 in her class and the actual turn out at the party was 18 children (including family and other friends).

I had two declines the week before the hols but over 15 did not respond either way.

Is this normal? Are people really this ignorant?

Just checking as I am pretty new to all this party palaver.

A genuine mistake is one thing but will only happen rarely. People who don't reply because they aren't intending to come and can't be bothered to make the effort to reply are inconsiderate (both to the parent and the child) and to my mind are most definitely horrid.

Lack of thought for others= horrid.

at running out in your slippers!! I think that is why she looked shocked.
I would have refused an invite for that reason alone!!!!

I have rang up the day before the party and said 'I'm just checking to see if {whoever} is coming to DS's party. More often than not the response has been 'Oh, Sorry! Yes he will be there'

Honestly don't sweat it unless it is for a specific number of places and then keep it small and chase up response yourself. (eg a themed party for 10 kids) Have a set dead line for a reply the party on the invite eg two weeks before. Leave it a few days after dead line and ring to check.

I understand how it can happen but it seemed to happen to an awful lot of the invites! It just seemed mad that this was over half of her class. I saw them all running out of nursery clutching their invites and showing the parents excitedly so some must have made it home

After 15 weary years of this I can safely say that nearly EVERYONE will screw up at some point by:

losing the invitation;
turning up a day late;
pinning the invite on the kitchen noticeboard and walk past it for a month thinking, 'ah yes, Simon's party, how nice' before realising with deep embarrassment that they haven't replied;
coming back from holiday with a nagging sense that there was something you forgot and this time it wasn't the milk...

Yes that was the problem Upahill, It was right at the end of the school hols so didn't see many parents to chase them.
I just thought parents would jump at the chance of having their dc entertained (brill entertainment) for two hours and fed and given lovely goodies to go home with.

I don't even mind if dd doesn't get pressies!

Oh well

YANBU - we're in a similar situation for DS1's party on Sunday. I've sent reminder notes into school with him today for those who havent replied asking if they are coming to let me know (so we can ensure we have party bags/plates/food etc for them) but not to worry letting me know if they arent coming.

That's a good idea dinky. Did you ask the whole class? Our invites don't get given out if they are not for everyone.

I am left with loads of spare goody bags

lots of sweets :)

Young kids can be hopeless at handing anything form their bags to parents, I used to regularly search the bags of my 2 at primary school. I think inviting a few people and chasing those invites up is more sensible.

I asked 18 from the class (its a class of 30 and the place we're having it has a limit of 25 on children attending and we have his little brother and few non-school friends coming) - only got 8 responses back. DS1 handed out all the original invites in the playground to go into book bags infront of parents/carers so will be doing the same today with the reminders - doubt they'll work though

YANBU.

But I have an experience to show it happens.

DS mentioned the 2nd week of easter hols when was x party. . Say I don't know but he says he's invited? Nothing more to say/do about it then. Sunday we gutted his bedroom as he got a new bed and on his desk beneath all the crap under his boxes of art stuff is an invite for x birthday party on Saturday (the one just gone) I rung x mum and explained, apologised and DS has taken a pressie to school for him today.

Mindyou DS is 6 nearly 7yo

I think you would get some more responses from the reminder dinky. They should have no excuse!

Helium- at least you made a big effort after the party. I will get nothing from that lot down the school! I am really stopping myself from complaining loudly while talking to my freinds down there. In fact I may have a good old moan.

have had 2 responses from the reminders already so is clearly the way to go...

I hate that too. At my dd's party we invited 14. We received 5 yes's. They were prob dd's closest friends. 1 decline. 1 genuinely didn't find invite until after date specified for replies but came after I confirmed still ok. Others either declined or accepted after I chased. Definately worth chasing as 5 initial replies increased to 10 after chasing. Very annoying though.

small update if anyone is still reading this thread.

I was approached at the school gates by one of the grandmothers whose grandson came to the party and she loudly exclaimed how much he enjoyed it and it was the best party he had been to.

Lots of sheepish looking non-repliers standing nearby!

I always send reminders to people I haven't heard from a couple of days before the party.

Nothing pushy - just something like "Just to remind you that it is xxx's party on Saturday, and we would love to see you there!"

I think there are lots of reasons people forget (and I do too [{looks ashamed}). Sometimes I am not sure whether we will be available at the time we get the invitation, and then forget about it.... Sometimes we lose the invitation.... sometimes I just forget.... I never MEAN to not respond - it just occasionally happens. Which is why I assume everyone else is as dippy as me and send reminders....

I think reminders are the way to go.

Also not have a party in the school hols!

I think the bitterness is slowly fading away (wine)