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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with lack of thought from family AGAIN

43 replies

geordieminx · 03/05/2011 11:38

ds is 4 tomorrow. He has 2 cards to open. Dh and I both have close families, sisters, aunts, etc, and not one of them has bothered their arse to get card here the day before his birthday. I know it's not the end of the world, and some will come tomorrow but it just makes me a wee bit sad.

SIL lives 200 miles away, rang yesterday to see what he would like...what's the point in that??? Clearly she wouldn't be able to get it to him by wednesday...

His birthday is on the same day every year... I know this is only the 4th but ARGH

(((disclaimer have PMT))))

Am tempted to go to card shop and buy cards... Would that be sad???

OP posts:

worraliberty · 03/05/2011 12:11

I'm so glad my family are not like this. Sometimes we send cards/gifts if we remember and sometimes we don't.

My parents never made the whole 'massive fuss' thing on our birthdays and I don't either with my kids.

It's about the day for them and us...not cards or presents. Anything given to them over and above what we give them, is a total bonus and a lovely thought.

Cards would never be thrown in the bin because they're late. I think that's very strange behaviour and I hope it's not something your kids will pick up on.

GypsyMoth · 03/05/2011 12:12

it all sounds very grabby

fearnelinen · 03/05/2011 12:12

Yes, that's really bloody annoying - I mean how hard is it?!

I am crap about birthdays (unless I'm invited to a party - I love a good party!) but I'll always make sure the birthday boy or girl knows I am thinking of them. My Auntie however hasn't spoken to my mum for 3 years after she forgot to give me DD's 1st birthday present on time. There is 100 miles between us and she just forgot it when she came up, to spent the money on postage though and DD got an extra pressie a few days later. No-one was bothered at all, DD was 1 ffs! Auntie got wind of the error and went bonkers!!!!!! I still find it dumbfounding!

Oh and btw - just because their over 18 - I don't think that means you are rid of them and they don't make you busy anymore!

zukiecat · 03/05/2011 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

geordieminx · 03/05/2011 12:15

Have calmed down now.

I guess its just rightly or wrongly you just want everything to be perfect for your kids dont you?

Chances are my sister hasn't even remembered.. and won't do unless it's printed on the back of a fag packet or champagne bottle (how the childless 20 somethings live))))

OP posts:

worraliberty · 03/05/2011 12:17

But it's your job to make your child's birthday a great day.

I don't think you should be relying on anyone else.

Original poster

geordieminx · 03/05/2011 12:18

Would you put cards up 2 weeks after your birthday??? I

OP posts:

ConstanceFelicity · 03/05/2011 12:20

I think you're over-reacting. It's nice for kids to have the celebrations eked out.

worraliberty · 03/05/2011 12:20

Yes of course I would? A card is a card and the thought behind it is the same.

GypsyMoth · 03/05/2011 12:22

seems you prefer the goods op,not the thought behind it all

maybe your family have picked up on this and dont bother anymore?

GypsyMoth · 03/05/2011 12:23

apologies,that came out a bit wrong reading back.....

emptyshell · 03/05/2011 12:25

Sounds another rather grabby post.

Benefit of the doubt here - SIL rang yesterday to see what he wanted... perhaps SIL has gone on Amazon or whatever, ordered it to be sent as a priority gift wrap jobbie direct to you? Seems rather unreasonable to be sat there flaming her when you don't actually KNOW yet.

And my attitude is that cards arriving on the day, whenver the postman comes (and ours materialises anywhere between 10 and 3pm) arrive on the day and if you were ranting to me that my card arrived at 3pm on the birthday day, I'd be telling you to piss off to be honest.

Plus we've just come out of a couple of bank holidays with closed post offices and the like anyway - or are people meant to break into the post office to get their parcel there at the agreed time.

fearnelinen · 03/05/2011 12:27

How's that PMT working out for you?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/05/2011 12:27

I wonder if times have changed a bit. When I was a kid, birthdays were a big thing, or if not big, they were exciting and all of the family pitched in, GPs, aunts and so on. We didn't have many in the UK so stuff did arrive late sometimes, but birthdays were still an occasion.

I think if you are sending a card, it's better if it can get there on the day or a day before if possible. It's not the same if it's not your birthday, but obviously still nice to know that someone cared enough to send one.

I think that there are people who would prioritise sending driving test, house moving, sympathy cards now, over birthday cards? Perhaps there are just too many occasions where cards are the 'norm' and people are just desensitised to it all.

emptyshell · 03/05/2011 12:31

It was a bank holiday yesterday, and the country collectively lost the plot on Friday... when exactly were these people meant to get stuff in the post before today (to arrive tomorrow - on the birthday)?

I time cards to arrive on the day if possible, before if it's going to be a Sat or a Sun or I know I'm posting somewhere with shitty post (Derby I'm looking at YOU).

Was always mildly fucked off with cards as a kid - had to pretend joy at a bit of paper, and was only ever really interested (being honest here) if they had cash inside.

fearnelinen · 03/05/2011 12:31

Birthdays for me have always been special because the birthday person can chose what we do and decides what we watch on tv!!!!!!! Seriously, DD's birthday is coming up and she is planning the Mr Moon / Little Einsteins extravaganza!

worraliberty · 03/05/2011 12:40

I just fear that all this attention lavished on the little darlings on their 'special day' is not a good thing if it's OTT.

Think back to Mother's day and the sheer amount of Princess syndrome on MN. All the whinging, whining, posts from grown adults who didn't like their gifts..or 'only got a card'...or the flowers were awful because they were from the garage/supermarket.

FFS it was never ending and then there are still posts from adults whinnying because their DH's and MIL's aren't running around kissing their arses on their 'speshul day'

It's a birthday..the anniversary of when we're born...Big Whoop! Make it a special day for the kids, but keep a little perspective when it comes to the fact that your child is not everyone else's priority.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest

PfftTheMagicDragon · 03/05/2011 12:44

Nothing like AIBU for a large helping of devil's advocate is there?

YANBU. Nothing hard in getting a card to your house in time to be opened on the morning of the birthday.

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