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AIBU?

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Original poster

Regarding "Sleepovers"

12 replies

unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 19:48

DS (nearly 14) stayed with his mate who he has known for years in the holidays overnight. He packed his pbag and met said mate at the park and they walked back to his house (which I have been to). I asked DS to text me when he got there, which he did phoned him several times and texted mates mum to confirm he was there. She didn't reply and I texted again the next morning she again didn't reply. I texted DS and asked him to get her to text me - she did but from a different phone number. I have no reason to doubt DS's story hes pretty good and not into girls/booze/drugs/lying - yet. I will see said mates mum in the local shop soon and will mention thanks for having him etc...and this will confirm that he was were he said he was.

DD (nearly 12) went to stay at her (school) mates the other night. I haven't met her mate or the parents. She also walked round but before she went I asked her to get her friends mum to phone me. I confirmed with her it was ok DD was staying, asked for an address and for a house (phone) number as well as a mobile and gave her mine in case there was an emergency. All was fine DD had a good time and nothing "untoward" sounding happened.

Today I have just been thinking am I being really irresponsible in letting my kids go off on these sleepovers (in DDs case staying with people I have never even met) and taking their word for it that they are where they say there are?

What "safety measures" do others take?!

OP posts:
JemAndTheHolograms · 02/05/2011 19:52

No YANBU, they're the same measures we used to take when DSD would be staying at friend's houses at that age. Don't know where she is from one day to the next now, but she's 18 so very much grown up (or so she tells me Grin). I will be taking the same measures when my dds are older and start having sleepovers.

hanaka88 · 02/05/2011 19:57

When my sister was younger she used to tell my mum she was staying at her friends house and then go and sleep at an older guys house (no funny business they just used to drink and sleep)

Her friends mum used to say they slept there and lie for some reason... My mum still doesn't know

wotnochocs · 02/05/2011 20:02

Can you clarify.You asked your DS to text you when he got to friends housee which he did.Then after that you phoned him several more times, on a one night sleepover?
If my understanding is right then I think you are suffocating him!

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 20:03

I remember being 14 and telling my mum I was at my mates, my mate told her mum she was at mine, and we went camping.

Doesnt really help the Op, but we had a great time for two days. There were about 15 of us, girls and boys and nobody was upto no good, it was just fun.

Original poster
unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 20:03

I phoned him once or maybe twice Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 20:04

I did the same wotnochocs .... Confused

OP posts:
floweryblue · 02/05/2011 20:15

We were all a bit naughty when we were young, it is expected. But things are scary these days, sex and drugs seem to appeal from a much younger age.

DSS (14 and somewhat problematic) texted DP a few weeks ago to say he was staying at a mate's overnight, DP said no as DSS was on penicillin and not v well. We had to report DSS as a missing person to the police and eventually DP found DSS, with the help of another friend of DSS, in a house belonging to some random 26 year old woman, at an adult party.

Totally agree that the parents should communicate plans/agreement/arrangements, seems weird not to unless the friendship and routinely staying at each other's houses is of long standing.

GypsyMoth · 02/05/2011 20:19

funny you should post this...i have always let my older dc sleepover at friends with out much question

recently dd was at a friends....they discovered a mobile phone set up in the bathroom,filming them in the shower......opened up a can of worms and a police case ongoing!!

dd and her friend distraught....police were here 4 hours taking statements....man had all his computers etc removed to be inspected

he's had access to girls on sleepovers for 3 years,god knows how much footage he's collected....and god knows what he's done with it!!

puts a new angle on sleepovers.....

Original poster
unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 20:29

Wonder if I should actually drop them off Hmm

OP posts:
stoatie · 02/05/2011 20:31

My son (now 15 ) often has sleepovers at his mates - in the nice weather they enjoying sleeping in the tent in the garden Confused
We know the parents well - usually take him but sometimes he bikes over.

Last summer - got phone call (about 11pm) from a sobbing son "I'm so sorry mum " was all I could get out of him - then his mates mum came on phone, turned out the son and his two mates had decided to camp out on the racecourse (each telling parents that they were at others house!). They had got spooked out and gone back to his mates house - I struggled to tell him off as I could hear how upset he was (because he knew he had let us down by not telling us the truth - which we would not have OKed!) He still goes for sleepovers - but only in house/garden Grin

DoMeDon · 02/05/2011 20:51

I wouldn't let my children sleep over if I hadn't met the parents. I would also expect confirmation from the parents if my child walked there.

Reading what ILOVE sent chills through me - I used to work with a man who was sent to prison for videoing his step-daughter and her friends when they were getting changed. I'm not on a perv's everywhere campaign but I think caution is key.

MadamDeathstare · 02/05/2011 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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